So last week my best friend and I were in one of our favorite spots in the US. Scottsdale, AZ. First off, if you haven’t been there, you owe yourself a trip. Camelback mountain, Cougars, Old Scottsdale, Beautiful Resorts, a fake waterfront, 70 K college students running around and Gilligan’s (22’s in paper bags, and a midget bar) are just a few of the absolute gems located in this suburb of Phoenix, AZ. But this story could have happened anywhere in the world, it just so happened to be in one of my top 5 spots.
My best friend is an extremely well traveled, well-educated, handsome, fit, funny, biker. A catch for any lucky lady I'd say! We have known each other going on 9 years, and are currently sitting across from each other staring at the Vegas strip as I write this piece. As far as love is concerned, he considers himself a hopeful romantic rather than a hopeless one. But this blog isn’t entirely about my BFF, it’s about America.
This girl was trash… Well, let me rescind that comment. She was trashy, and not anywhere near the same league as my friend. But she had a great body, and a great… well… she was kinda dumb and wore a lot of makeup. But as we say in the South, she was “Sweet.” Anyway, it’s not that she was anything special, it’s that she was there, and he wanted to take a girl on his bike, have a great meal, and get balls deep into some good... conversation with a girl from AZ.
So the plan was on, she agreed to a date and he was excited. In fact, I hadn’t heard him so excited in quite a while. We got back from work around three and hit the pool at our cut-into-the-cliffs resort. They were supposed to meet at 7, and un-benounced to her, he'd made reservations at the nicest restaurant in 40 miles, a town car was lined up for them, and he'd even ironed a new shirt that he'd been saving for a special occasion. But in came the text (no call). She couldn’t make it. Tired was the excuse, a bad one at that.
He was devastated, I laughed my ass off. "I told you so" lingered on the tip of my tongue but I never let it go. It was the classic blow off, and he never saw it coming.
Now usually this would be the end of it. But he saw something in her that I obviously didn’t. Must have been something, maybe her teeth, I don’t know? So they made plans for a motorcycle ride the next day, and that next morning she canceled on him again. Plans for dinner, she ruined those too. But she promised and swore up and down that it wasn’t her fault, (she really liked my BFF). She would make it up to him on day three. And she finally showed up after work for dinner.
It was already dark so they got in her car to head out. The apologies started, conversations ensued about their days, and then… the check engine light came on:
BFF: You know your check engine light just came on…
Girl: Yea, it kinda goes on and off.
BFF: Um, you know that usually means that
something's wrong, have you had it checked?
Girl: Uh, no, because it goes on and off.
I figure if it was a real issue it would stay on, or I would
hear something…
This was the straw that broke the camel's back for my friend, and the subject to this extremely long winded blog set-up.
Before you get too curious, the car did not blow up on the way back to the hotel, and my friend did not get his heart broken by this “Sweet” girl. However I didn’t even realize it, but I was getting a good look in the mirror from this little excursion.
The check engine light scenario is one I’ve seen with girls many times before. And it’s not about a lack of knowledge about the car they drive, or in the overall mechanics of a motorized vehicle, it’s about a lack of caring of the little things. The on and off check engine light is just a little thing and for the short term it probably doesn’t mean a whole lot, but it will eventually lead to a full on check engine light, and in this day and age, with highly smart computerized cars, check engine lights mean serious problems for your car.
Once the big light stays on, you very possibly have major problems. Problems that are going to cost you a lot of money, money you could have saved if you had paid attention to your early warning signals in the beginning.
And just like in any relationship, if you don’t deal with the little issues as they come up, they will all culminate into such a big issue, that you'll be in a situation where you're deciding whether or not to should fix the car, or sell it for much less than you think it’s worth.
My BFF should have recognized the problem when the first symptom crept up to the surface, but he let problem after problem occur until there was no other solution than to drop the entire situation, and kick that poor “Sweet” girl to the curb.
Do you have a check engine light going on in your relationship? If so, deal with it. I know it’s much easier to push all the problems and arguments off into the depths of your mind until the next scheduled checkup, but by that time the light will be on full time, and you might have a fatal problem on your hands. Don’t sell your relationship for scraps when a little more TLC along the way could save you a trip to the junkyard.
Our Grandparents always said: “If it’s still good, why would I want to get something new?” We don’t think that way anymore though; We need a new TV because it’s clearer than our non-broken one, a new computer because it’s faster than our already working one, and nice clothes because our non-damaged ones are out of fashion. Are we doing this with our relationships too?
Yes…
We jump into relationships too quick because of having a few things in common and a cute factor. We hide our real feelings for the fear of being too vulnerable to our “partner,” and when the real problems come out, we’re too quick to break up, or divorce a situation that could have been fixed if we'd only dealt with the little problems as they had occurred.
Next time, fix the small inconvenience before it grows into a relationship-ending problem. You’ll thank me for it later… And I thank my BFF.
WJNTY - Seth
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Comments (29)
Sometimes check engine lights come on at a distinct mileage point, such as 60k... this happened recently. I happen to be rather knowledgeable about my car, and I checked everything out. Turns out that all it needed was a good fuel-injection cleaning and a little bit of premium gas! Mazda goes zoom-zoom again.
As for the analogy, and my response, I could say that even just the amount of time passing can be a warning signal that something could/could not be wrong in a relationship. If you keep putting regular into the tank, then the check engine light comes on one day and won't go off, how will you fix that? Maybe they just need a little fuel-injector cleaner in their relationship... something new to clean out some of the old dirt and grease can insert a whole new spark.
Sometimes the check engine light comes on because you have a faulty sensor. Mine did. It was $200 to replace and I said "fuck it" because I keep my car in tip-top condition. Maybe everything was fine and it was just a faulty sensor...
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - I wish Mazda would figure out what is going on with their sensors!
I can't think of many instances where you would be able to "prevent a bigger problem" if you attend to your check engine light immediately. Check engine light means there is a problem...preventative maintenance happens before light ever comes on.
Sorry, I didn't make it through the rest of the post, it seemed incredibly long and not to the point.
This was incredibly preachy. But I liked it. So true!
i might be tired, but this was a bit hard to follow.
good message. but you sound a little bitter about this other chick..
Well, my actual check engine light in my car has been on for a while. I just never had the time to have it checked out since I have to work everyday (and with having to travel 50+ miles a day to get to work, you can't be without a car).
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - Mine is a dirty fuel filter that Honda refused to replace because they said "my car is too old." Guess where I'm never taking my car again to get fixed?
Well, my actual check engine light in my car has been on for a while. I just never had the time to have it checked out since I have to work everyday (and with having to travel 50+ miles a day to get to work, you can't be without a car).
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - Mine is a dirty fuel filter that Honda refused to replace because they said "my car is too old." Guess where I'm never taking my car again to get fixed?
There could be a million things that cause the check engine light to come on... If you're running out of oil your oil light comes on...to me that's more serious because well... i don't want to ruin my car! But really, minor things turn that on, and not necessarily things that are going to cause serious issues.
really? my check engine light comes on when i get gas from a station i've never been to before. and i take it to the shop and it's the same thing over again. there is nothing wrong with my car and they reset it. so yeah when my check engine light comes on after i get gas i'm not going to take it to the shop. i know my car. i check the fluids every month. i check the tire pressure every month. i know what it sounds like and i keep it clean
as for relationships, people should be doing "check ups" before a check engine light comes on.
@sorority_girl86@xanga - Woah! Thats probably whats wrong with my Mazda! We have had our check engine light on since about a year ago... Right after we got something fixed in the car.... (I swear they did something), and nothing seems to be wrong with the car though.. Its just that light.... :/
This was a very scattered sounding post... I'm not sure if I like it or not...
@laytexduckie@xanga - lol wow don't take it to a honda dealer, that's for sure. I take mine to a local napa inspection station, the guys there are really honest and clean about the way they handle my car. It is hard to get stuff fixed though if you work mon-fri, because a lot of shops aren't open even on saturdays. :[
I can't afford to see why my check engine light is on lol. Actually, when I did have the money and I had a mechanic look at my car to see what was wrong with it, it still stayed on! But my car is a piece of shit, so much is wrong with it that it's pointless trying to fix everything.
And as far as relationships go, I used to let problems go when I really should have dumped the guy because of them, but I learned my lesson and hopefully I will speak up next time.
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - Yeah. I have a custom who does custom car modifications and also works on maintenance. I'll be taking it to him from now on. But, yeah, working Mon-Fri is a tough deal and he is usually busy Sats and closed Sun and Mons.
The check engine light reminds me of "Penny" from "The Big Bang Theory"
@july37@xanga - Yeah, I immediately thought of Penny and Sheldon freaking out when I read this post.
The whole check engine light thing aside...this post gave me an erky feeling because it is kinda hit home.
well, that was a roundabout way to get to the point, if i've ever read one.
CHECK ENGINE LIGHT HAS TO DO WITH EMISSIONS!
your car may run fine, but youre are polluting the planet
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - same goes with relationship. Scheduled check-ups go a long way.
Good post, makes sense. I've known far too many good men, you know the men women always wonder where they are and why they always get stuck with the bad ones, that have gotten praying-mantised by a woman because they were below expectations, but a simple conversation, instead of an all-of-a-sudden dumping would have probably made him change to the better or what you wanted.
As a side not. Most of the women that dumped these friends of mine, ended up dating older men, by like 3 or 4 years, that looked just like my friends, albeit fat and somewhat unattractive. Coincidence? I think not. Gold diggers? Yes. The gripes they had with my friends was that at 19 they wanted them to make more money and since at 19, who wants to work to give all your money to your girl, in the form of material gifts, they just went on working as much as they did and studying. The major difference with their new men is, dum dum dum, money! I think this tends to be the reason why women do this more. They want the romance, but prefer the money and gifts more. They are attracted to the men, thus why they find a doppelganger, but also want the material value that they are worth.
Oh my goodness, I though a girl was writing this the whole time until I check the bottom of the article, and it said Seth. Then I looked at what was written underneath the profile picture. I was thinking 'wow that's pretty cool that a guy and a girl are best friends; i wonder what her husband thinks about that?' lol Sorry. By the way, this was a really good article!
OH my. Currently I'm a couple days single and I'm not hurting as much. I miss him but I think it's time to move on. I believe it was his fault and i haven't heard a sincere apology in days. Your friend seems like my type hehe. This "sweet girl " is obviously a dumbo and I would to break up with them if they don't care about their own car. My engine light went on this past week. I went to San Diego with my little girl to escape and because I was pretty heart broken. I live in the tip of texas and don't want to live here anymore. Anyways, I finally had time to take it yesterday to a mechanic and they told me what was wrong with it. I care about my car and took it to get it checked out ASAP. The check engine light when off right after and I can't wait until pay day this Friday so my car can get a tune up. The mechanic came to a conclusion that it might be gases leaking out! ahh! They said it wasn't major or dangerous but I'm still getting it fixed. Shame on people that are lazy and are not committed to their cars and relationships!
They come on for the DUMBEST reasons... if your gas cap isn't tight... it'll come on. If your air filter is dirty. Yep. Don't use the right grade of gas for your car. You guessed it.
Hubbs has been on for over a year now because he doesn't have a windshield washer container or wipers.
agreed, relationships are like cars too, it needs maintenance and attention and without that, it could slowly take a toll and run out of commission and then you will need to pay a little more money to get it back to running condition and sometimes it may not always work out the way you want it to be.