Friday, 04 November 2011
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The Slutty Pumpkin Disappointment
This week's "How I Met Your Mother" triggered a memory.
On the show, Ted searched everywhere for 10 whole years for that girl with the slutty pumpkin outfit. Only to find out on that day of finally meeting her, there's no chemistry at all. Given in the show, both were searching for each other for 10 years. I was the only one searching for him during that 10 years.
We grew up together as children. Every Friday night and weekend, we'd see each other. Due to rumors, we started to see each other differently and he became my first love. Then, I moved away to another country and lost contact with him for 10 whole years. And, during those years, I wasn't solely focusing on him but thoughts of him came up here and there. Like when there's something funny, I wanted to share with him; or when I received an award, I wished he were there; or when I was celebrating my birthday or when his came; or when I see kids attempting to climb trees, I'd remember the days we climbed up this one tree and told each other frivolous secrets.
Then through technology, I tracked him down and found him becoming a frivolous flirt with every girl imaginable. He no longer was a sweet person. He used various ways to try to get me to buy him apple electronics. He no longer works hard to earn something with his own hands, because he realizes that his daddy's rich enough to buy him anything and that he can easily get a job through his dad's connection. I think the last straw came when he wanted me to be a friend with benefits. He became so ugly on the inside, though he wasn't much a looker either now with bald spots. I stepped out of his life, as the way it should be.
Yet, that's the thing. He was that slutty pumpkin, but if I never contacted him again, I'd always wonder what might happen between us. Would we be together and live a happily ever after story? I'd always wonder about the ending to that story if I don't go back to revisit. Sometimes it's necessary to face the disappointments in life, because they urge us to move on to find that happy story.
Did you ever have a slutty pumpkin disappointment?
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About the Author
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- From: dreamsversion@xanga
- Name: Snow
- About Me: Instead of telling something general about myself, i'll tell you how i spent my last weekend: i went to the park and taught a little kid how to jump off the tree, because he was scared with values his parents had instilled in him. we then played tag around the playground and became the captains of a new found island. next we played freeze tag and when that fail to satisfy us, we decided to race down the hill by rolling down the grass. i lost that one though. dinner time came, and i bid goodbye to our island.
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Comments (28)
Hmm, I guess so. His name was Aaron and he was one of my best friends throughout highschool. I knew his highschool "sweetheart". He dated and then married her after I moved and we lost contact. He had consitently asked me out thoughout highschool and I always said no because if things went wrong I didn't want to lose him as my friend. We are back in contact now and have been for about 2 yrs. He is married and they have their ups and downs and I am perfectly happy with my SO and no longer wonder about anything like I did before I met my SO. It was just a "fancy".
This was a really good post. I dated a guy that everyone hated (except me, obviously) because i didn't want to ask "what if." Of course, it turned out that he really was an absolute asshole, but I needed to learn that for myself. Oh, to be young.
Slutty pumpkin disappointment? Story of my life, circa 2005 - 2009.
Great post. :)
what's wrong with being flirtatious?
Yup, I'm definitely marrying an asian woman..
@testyman666@xanga - wha...? lol
There was this guy I crushed on pretty hard all of my freshman year of high school. I never talked to him or anything, but at a dance I finally worked up the courage to talk to him and ask him to slow dance with me. It turned out he may have had a pretty face, but lacked a personality. Now, he's in the military and has three kids... Ha. xP
@malissa1578@xanga - yes sometimes all the "what ifs" ruin the perfect present. i'm a lot happier now without him as well. :)
"Sometimes it's necessary to face the disappointments in life, because they urge us to move on to find that happy story." Wow well said. Dang that's a sad story. If you find the one you liked and that person has become that way. But perhaps it shouldn't be worth throwing a friendship over. Despite him becoming like that, you guys did enjoy each other's companies at one point. Perhaps that old part of him is still there and still something you can bring out.
@AubreyBird@xanga - when we are young, we can afford with the trials and errors. though when i first hit with the disappointment, i wondered why there's a way to spot jerks without the need to date them to find out
Great post, but the real slutty pumpkin disappointment was that the episode sucked! :(
I used to be tomboyish but now I guess I'm the "slutty pumpkin outfit girl" although I'm not a literal slut-I just like wearing sexy clothes sometimes. I wonder who from my past is looking for me
I've known some actual sluts and good riddance to them. I found out before anything happened*whew*
Totally been there and back. People are never as magical as you build them up to be. People often think, "Oh, if I just had this one person, everything would be perfect and great and nothing will ever go wrong." Rarely is that the case.
@dreamsversion@xanga - jerks should be labeled to save us the trouble.
Here are only two of my bad man experiences of getting back in touch:
I had a crush on this guy in high school years ago. A few years later we came into contact went on a date talked, laughed, exchanged stories, he kissed me and danced around a lake which was great but when he was driving me home he whipped his you know what out I guess expecting sex and I didnt talk to him for a little while after that no matter how much he tried to apologize, turns out 2 weeks later he meets his wife and soon after joined the marines.
Second guy also crushed on my senior year, years later shortly after guy number 1 we go on a date he drove from SC to FL. for one date, then he went back to his ship(navy) and was away for a week so we lost touch as soon as he found out I moved to NY again he asked for my sisters number.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - he wasn't just flirtatious, he basically became lazy and greedy.
sometimes, if not most of the time, you're not with someone for a 'good' reason. If you are with that sort of that person, well that's just Karma. And I'm Catholic haha.
I kinda have one of those situations, but we never lost touch for too long. We still don't.
I met this guy online when I was 13.(Don't tell me that's creepy, because I know. I was really, really dumb.) We started a LDR and it lasted about 8 months... which for 13-14year olds who lived thousands of miles away, was a pretty big deal. But then he left me... actually, he just stopped talking to me. Wouldn't take my calls or answer any IMs I sent. He never blocked me, though. I took that to mean something. Anyway, he went out with this other girl for about 2 years, maybe a little more. The whole time I was just waiting, patiently. He started to talk to me again at some point. I don't remember how long he ignored me exactly. But he had only begun to change when he first spoke to me again. He was still recognizeable as the person I fell in love with. After he broke up with that girl, he dated a few more here and there, and then, for whatever reason, he became different. He became the type of guy who flirts and has sex with anything with boobs, started to do hard drugs and drink... all of this came gradually over the course of years. We would only talk periodically. He would tell me he was done with me, that he was never going to talk to me again, and then a few months later he would pop up again, as though nothing ever happened. But now, I rarely ever talk to him because he's never online... the only place I can actually talk to him. He doesn't have a cell phone anymore because he can't pay for it. I tried for so long to get him to revert back to his old self. I still have this hope inside that I can "save him". But in reality, it is all his choice, and I can't change his personality back to how it used to be. I sometimes miss him when we don't talk for a while, and wonder how things would have turned out if I didn't live so far away. But, as of now, I am happy in my current relationship, and I love my boyfriend more than I've ever loved anyone. I would not go back to my ex, even if he completely backtracked into who he used to be. Even though this is all true, I will still never get over the first time my heart was ever truly broken, and I'll never stop being friends with him. He's a huge part of who I am today, and the main reason I made it this far in my life. I'll be there for him, and I'll always have hope that he will rethink what he's doing to himself and accept that people really do care for him. He makes me worry so much when we don't talk for a while. ><
I guess it's not really the same thing, but... same concept.
xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx
@Broken_Black_Moon@xanga - ouch. T___T I felt deja vu as I read your comment, but I won't accept any contact with that guy any longer. I tried saving him from himself, but he didn't have good intentions towards me. so I couldn't take it. it was so hard, to steer away, but I did it, and I'm glad. I guess he was my slutty pumpkin. I don't want anything to do with him anymore. He did more harm to me than he did help me.
I wanna say you're an amazing writer and I enjoyed reading this.
I was in the "trying to make it work stage". My friend that I met online when I was 14 was amazing. We had a lot of fun memories like playing games, webcamming, sharing pictures of our daily lives, xanga, myspace, facebook, etc. There was a point in our friendship when we both knew we liked each other, but he wouldn't admit it because of the social stigma of this being an online thing. I honestly didn't care about all that stuff, and I still don't, but he frustrated me so much because he was ashamed of me. If I must admit, I really thought I was going to marry this guy because we shared so much and he stuck around for so long. Off to college and he's met new friends, new girls... He has this new life now that is much better than sticking around with me. I am a bit jealous of him. He didn't fall into drugs nor did his life fall apart in anyway. However, there are little quirks about him that I really can't stand.. like his weaboo ways. Occasionally, I'll say the quick hello to him or wish him a happy birthday or show him stuff that reminds me of him, but he'll brush me off and our conversations become meaningless.
I still have delusions that maybe one day it will be the same as it was before when we would stay up till 3 AM talking about nonsense like how it was in high school... But it's quite obvious he's moved on with his life, and there really is nothing I can do to change his mind. This post is closure, and I'm not going to lie and say that I won't think of him ever again, but I've really fell in love with who he was, and the person that he is is actually really shitty.
It was really hard writing this, and while I was writing it, I've contemplated spilling how I feel to him right down to the point where I don't like him anymore, but honestly I can see his reaction do this.
"Awk. How creepy."
@SOUND_of_FRICTION@xanga - thanks for sharing that i was able to get a glimpse to your life. :)
i was disappointed as well for the thing to turn out the way it did. i ended it 4 years ago, yet it doens't mean i forget him entirely. closure as a response to a disappointment is necessary to move on and find something or someone who can make you happy.
@Broken_Black_Moon@xanga - i had a friend like that. only i never saw a "pure" side of him. but you know i still believe there might be people treasuring their girls. despite my pessimissim, i still believe that.
i just don't believe in stick with one and wait him out as if he could somehow get tired of being a jerk. (sigh if only that's how life goes) :)
@Asianrockgurl@xanga - wow that's almost exactly what i did to another guy. only he never was my slutty pumpkin, cuz i never saw a nice side to him before. but he was my best friend's bf then.
"He used various ways to try to get me to buy him apple electronics." lol what? what a loser.
I'm sorry this happened to you, but you're absolutely right - sometimes you need the disappointment to let you know you're not missing out. since you weren't obsessed with him, just having thoughts pop up here and there, who knows how much longer you could have thought about him? its a good thing you found out he's no good for you...