So a friend comes up to me, talking about her parents. They've been together for many years (25+) and have a great marriage and a large family. Surprisingly, my friend continued on to tell me a story that her mother told her. That she didn't know her husband to be was 10 years younger way until they went to apply for their license. What amazed me even more was that this 19 year old man took on an already made family.
That got me thinking. Today's news is scattered with terms of cougars & gold diggers.
Why is it the women who get the names? There are probably names for the guys of the sort, but they're never tossed around with the familiarity that the women's are.
My first marriage, was to a man 13 years old than me. We got along great. We parted ways on friendly terms due to personal issues. Was I a gold digger? Hell if I was, then I need to go back to gold-digger school, cause I failed my first assignment. No. I was a person who saw the person and not the number that is apparently supposed to define them.
I've dated and known younger guys who are more responsible than older guys. True there are those who act their age, but why does it play such a big role in our society? Now I am not condoning anything below legal age, but I believe that 2 people shouldn't have to be ostracized for an age difference. They are old enough to make the decision.
Thoughts?
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Comments (24)
Through each age period, the views always differ. Around your teenage years, people scoff at you when you're dating someone 3 or more years difference. As you get older, it hardly becomes a factor anymore. But age is nothing. Like you said, someone may be 30, but they can still act like a 10 year old.
Through each age period, the views always differ. Around your teenage years, people scoff at you when you're dating someone 3 or more years difference. As you get older, it hardly becomes a factor anymore. But age is nothing. Like you said, someone may be 30, but they can still act like a 10 year old.
age doesn't necessarily correlate with maturity. however, I'm personally more drawn to some older men, especially in their mid to late 30's, because that's the age, where I find their slightly more matured looks while not looking too old yet still looking youthful, to be the most attractive. colin egglesfield for example
he doesn't look like a boy, yet he doesn't look like a really old man.
At this point, I've dated older and younger.... Dating younger was sooo hard for me, because we barely ever connected, and the guys always ended up being far too immature.
The older guys were easier to get along with, had an idea about where their lives were going, and were able to teach me things. I like that! My boyfriend is 5 years older... Do I see that as an issue? No. It just means we may have some differences of perspective... He's got 5 full years of life experience more than I do!Age isn't a factor. I dated a girl seven years younger than me and a girl four years older than me.
age is nothing but just a number. i've never personally dated a younger guy but i know a lot of girls who have and they have good relationships.
I don't get age at all.
It doesn't really have any basis on how you act...
I've met super-mature little kids, and super-immature adults!
Personally, I'd date people older or younger than me... it doesn't bother me either way!
(Unless it's extreme, I don't think I'd date someone who was young enough to be my kid, or old enough to be my parent! Lol.. the creep-factor would ruin it for me)
My step-dad was 24 when he married my mom who was 35 and had three little girls. They've been together 16 years with no signs whatsoever of wanting a divorce. I don't see age really being much of a problem, as long as you don't go extreme, it just gets a little bit weird to me then. My boyfriend is attracted to women who are 40+. He even tried to have sex with a woman who was 59 and he was 20 at the time! Okay, that's almost a 40 year difference, I'm sorry, but that's crossing the line.
-.-
Not everyone that dates or marries someone significantly older/younger than themselves is automatically a gold digger. Someone is only a gold digger if they specifically go after someone who will throw massive amounts of money into making them happy, while they do relatively little (if anything) to make the other person happy.
Anyway, my personal belief is that age doesn't necessarily matter, but life circumstances and maturity play absolutely huge roles in relationships. I don't think most 18 year olds would be able to have a functioning long term relationship with someone 25+, mostly because both of those age groups are typically at very different stages of life situations and maturity. Someone 23 with someone 28 has a better chance of working out, and someone 28 with someone 35+ probably has a better chances still. Of course, there are all sorts of uncontrollable circumstances that play into these sort of things (children, previous marriages, how someone grew up, etc), but I think in general terms, it's a model that works decently.
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - Makes sense.
Age is only a mental thing. It really depends on the person; age really don't make a difference or mean anything. You got to look at everything; the whole package to define.
Age and maturity are two different things.
I turn 22 almost half a year before my husband does. Not much of a difference but considering most women in their early 20's date someone slightly older than them, my husband is more mature than most of his 28 - 32 year old co-workers. He's the youngest person at his job but the hardest worker. He's married and has a child on the way (I'm one lucky lady). We own our own house. He takes care of his family. We live a good life.
How many 22 year old guys can say that? Not many, because most of them aren't ready maturity wise. They aren't ready for those kinds of commitments. Which is fine! I'm just saying, NEVER skip out on a person because of age (unless it's illegal). You never know what you might miss out on!
The term cougar applies to those women who age DOES matter to, who deliberately go for very young men. Is it wrong? *shrugs* Not if the guy is an adult. They call men who do that cradle-robbers, or insecure, or overcompensating.
I dated a guy eight years older than me when I was 19-21 who was a pizza delivery guy and a guitarist in a local band, living like a very young kid (although still very kind, just not very adult-like). I married one who is 11 months older than me, was totally ready to take on the responsibility of supporting a wife, who excels and works hard at everything he does. Age has nothing to do with it, it has to do with character and personality.
The thing is, character and personality often aren't formed fully until the person is an adult. So the way a fifteen year old is now isn't necessarily indicative of what their personality will end up being. Age matters when you are a child, not when you're an adult.
Psychologically, there are physical ages and mental ages. Evidently we're discussing physical and yeah..that does not matter. I dated someone 6 years older than me and he's about as immature as someone 10 years younger than him. The relationship got stupid fast.
There's a stigma that older people use the younger people which I've unfortunately seen true in a couple cases. Most recently, I've seen my best friend be used by a guy who's at least 13 years older than her but is lying about his age. You can tell all he wants is sex from her (long story on how I know). She's blinded by it and now she's depressed because he got a job offer in NYC. I just don't trust relationships with huge age gaps.
Typically they call older men predators. hence why women are coined as cougars-- they are all the prowl, but very slick and innocent.
It's pretty simple to know what a man wants when he's a bajillion years older than a chick. those are complete generalizations though.
I date older guys, I've actually never dates a guy my age or younger. I'm hoping when I get older I'll start to appreciate younger guys
with age comes knowledge...if a guy wants to date a younger girl there mitght be a good reason women his age dont want to date him...control issues to..its easier to control someone younger than you that hasnt seen the world like you have...10, 11, 12 ,13 up years is a big gap....unless youre 60 and hes 70...its effed up...personal experience..dated a guy 13 yrs older than m,e
Different strokes for different folks.
I personally am attracted to men 5-15 years older than me. Someone about 8-9 years older than me is the perfect age. However, I have dated in all age categories ranging from 2 years younger than myself to 30 years older than myself. I just have a stronger attraction to older men (I rarely find men within 5 years of my age range attractive).
My current "interest" (we are just starting to see each other) is 8 years older than me.
I had a great aunt who in the 1950s divorced an alcoholic husband. That was scandalous enough. In her 40's she married a 21-year-old. They were the love of each others' lives. They were married 30 years when she died of lung cancer. He said he could not live without her. Within 18 months, despite being nearly 20 years her junior, he died. Although she had children, they did not have children together.
Age does not matter at all. Ten years into any marriage all that matters is how you treat each other.
Age is just a number. And I find the terms "cougar" and "cub" repulsive.
Dating someone 17 years older than me (but hell, he looks my age... I'm 23) and we get along fantastically. :) I agree with what many people say here: many older men seem to have more maturity and an idea of what they want in life. To me, that is utterly attractive.
My grandfather remarried the woman I have known as my grandmother my entire life - after my biological grandmother passed away of lung cancer while my mom was still in college. My grandmother is only 10 years older than my mom, making her only 7 years older than my grandfather's oldest daughter. From what I've heard, the family rejected the relationship at first, but they all came to love and accept my grandmother long before I was born. I personally couldn't imagine anyone else in my family. It is so obvious that my grandfather loves her very much and she loves him; they are perfect for each other. I'm just happy that my grandfather was able to find such love and happiness after his first wife died, and that he found that love and happiness with a woman as wonderful as my grandmother ^_^
Age is just a number.