This afternoon in Psychology Today, an article was featured entitled "Being Beautiful or Handsome is Easier Than You Think!" At the heart of the piece was a study designed to illuminate what features a person finds attractive in members of the opposite sex (obviously, a huge flaw in the study is its bias towards heterosexuals, but I still think the results are worth sharing). The study aimed to determine the importance of stable features, like a person's height, with changeable features, like a person's clothing, in terms of physical attraction.
Without question, the majority of attractive features fell under the category of self-care. Changeable aspects, like grooming, posture, hair style, well-fitting clothes, posture, and healthy weight, were all the most attractive characteristics of a person. Obviously, some of those things are easier to work on than others. Combing your hair every day is certainly a different kind of effort than losing 15 pounds. But as the article points out, the guidelines were much more vague than definitive. People want their partners to be relatively healthy, but neither gender expected an ideal body type by any means. Mainly, people are attracted to those who take care of themselves generally, and that does not mean having to incorporate an extreme diet or plastic surgery.
I think society has a tendency to believe that unchangeable aspects of physical appearance are what make a person inherently attractive. The only manner of changing those things would be to result to more extreme measures, such as plastic surgery. But really, this study shows that with a little effort, it isn't very hard to be an extremely attractive person. There should not be any sort of helpless notion that you are either born "hot or not" and that's that. Everyone has attractive qualities, everyone should have confidence in those qualities, and realize that if you are dissatisfied, there are very attainable, little efforts one can make to adjust that.
I don't mean to imply of course that you should change yourself if you love your hair cut, but for people with deep insecurities or feelings that their innate physical qualities are blocking them from having a satisfying dating life, that simply isn't true. The little things count, there are things within your power to change if you want to do so, and it will go a long way.
What are the most attractive qualities to you? Have "changeable" attractive features (grooming, clothing, posture, etc.), ever drawn you towards someone, or pushed you away?
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Comments (39)
I was unattractive once. Then I was like, hey screw this. And decided to be attractive instead. Much better choice.
I was also unattractive, still am, but I decided to change into a hermit and since I like crabs I wanted to be a hermit crab but I wasn't so was just disappointed.
being attractive is much easier. instead of me getting out there to go for who i liked, the guys come to me instead lol less work =P
@Lordv16@xanga - <3
>>obviously, a huge flaw in the study is its bias towards heterosexuals
oh you mean because statistically heteros are the norm at around 90% of the population?
ya that bias is a flawed one, I'm surprised they published it!
i call bs on this article (sort of). i've always been more likely to check out a girl who's well dressed--that's probably the most important feature to me. so in that sense i agree. but i'm also better dressed, more outgoing, and more financially successful than the vast majority of guys my age (if i may say so myself), with a significantly lower hit rate than jackasses like the situation.
I notice when I go out, I do get attention if I do my hair, put on some make up, and wear a nice outfit. And I like that, sometimes. But, I have a boyfriend who likes me just fine in jeans, a t-shirt, and no makeup (pretty much what I was wearing when we got together), so I'm comfortable like that too. It depends on where I'm going, what I'm doing, who I'm with, and my mood. But yes, looking nice is not rocket science.
@x__mh@xanga - :)
When I pay attention to wear my hair a certain way, a little makeup to make a change in my routine, and heels... that usually draws a lot of attention in. I'm an Asian chick that's is already 5ft10 so when I wear heels, it's BAM, I'm 6ft tall. Plus my fiance being Italian and 6ft2 definitely adds to the double take because a) older ladies tend to gravitate towards him and b) i get the odd 'that's something you dont' see everyday' look. lol Also, when I know majority of the attendees (to an event, wherever) are wearing short outfits (lots of skin) and I dress in moderately conservative outfits that show a bit of leg, I also get a lot of attention that way too. In the sea of covered up, semi-hoochie mama dresses and you get me. :) haha When my fiance has shaved, combed his hair and actually got some sleep so his face doesn't look exhausted, he gets more noticed when he's wearing just a casual button up with a pair of decent jeans. Anyway, when I'm wearing a hoodie, my hair under a hat and a large scarf, I'd rather NOT be noticed, it's definitely a "tired, off day" look.
Anyway, i used to know this guy that spent MORE time in the bathroom getting ready to go anywhere longer than an hour. He had extremely nice skin, which was a battle getting to that state because he used to have bad acne, but he was too 'high maintenance' to even hang out and do casual things with. That was a turn off, no matter how good/nice looking he was.
Sometimes it really is just as simple as taking good care of yourself. To some people clothes and hairstyles matter a bit to them but ultimately people find healthy teeth, skin, hair, body scent etc to be attractive enough. I mean we all have our preferences as far as hair color and height but most of the time those are not things a mate NEEDS to have in order to be attractive to the other person. I have a preference for dark haired people but I've gone out with blondes and red heads too. It's a choice, not an ultimatum . At least not for me...
psychology today rocks my socks.
good post !I was really ugly in high school, LIKE SUPER UGLY. I never had a boyfriend and I was very shy and withdrawn from people. I lost a lot of weight and started taking of my skin and hair and it was like BAM, guys started showing interest in me. And don't get me wrong, it's not just because I wasn't as ugly, but also because I had a little more confidence in myself. I'm still pretty shy and insecure just because I had been ugly my whole life, but I'm getting better. I believe attractiveness has a lot to do with confidence.
This is true. A couple weeks ago I saw this guy wearing a double breasted suit jacket. Instant attraction. Weird, because I wouldn't have looked twice at him otherwise.
@testyman666@xanga - Psychology Today is a complete crap publication, so don't be too surprised.
I just instantly know the moment that I look at a guy if I think he is attractive or not. and the guy isn't necessarily ugly, just unattractive to me. like I don't get the deal with ryan reynolds because I don't personally find him attractive but he is generally considered "attractive." he does these things that are suppose to make him attractive, but it just doesn't do it for me. that's just one example amongst many. so yeah, attractiveness is subjective to each person.
@lyrra_askavi@xanga - at least it's better than datingish
Thankfully, almost any guy can clean up well with a nice crisp dress shirt and pants. Dab on a clean smelling cologne and do your hair and that's it, you are ready to rock. There are other subtle things you can do like having good posture and smile, but for the most part, you just have to carry that confidence that you know you look good.
Personality and charm? Well, that's a bit tougher to get right.
@TrollingCuzIt'sTrue - Living up to your name. I like it. :D
@testyman666@xanga - i think it was just a botched stab at hetero-normativity
being attractive is definitely easy for me. when i was young, my looks allow me to get away with things but as i got older, my personality and charm has definitely gotten me jobs. most guys have just liked me bc of my looks and sometimes thinking i'm dumb or unintelligent so that's not good.
I'm really into guys teeth. If he doesn't have nice teeth, I'm not interested.
I'm instantly attracted to a guy that knows how to dress himself. I really don't like it when guys (of any age at that matter) think it's appropriate to wear saggy jeans and a extra-large t-shirt -o-.
I don't know.
I think I'm pretty decent looking to begin with but I'd say the most attractive thing about me is my personality. Not to toot my own horn or anything. I take care of myself and I dress in ways that flatter me. But I don't wear a lot of makeup (if any) and I don't mind going out in sweat pants with my hair a wreck. I've had guys hit on me looking like crap simply because A) I'm confident and B) I'm cool. :)
The first thing that attracted me to my husband when I first saw him was that he was oozing confidence. Was he my type, physically? NO! Completely different that what I normally go for. But it was obvious that he was 100% comfortable and real and THAT caught me. It took me no time to be extremely physically attracted to him and now I honestly think he's one of THE most handsome men in the world. ;)
I dunno, sometimes I get the most attention when I've put the least work into myself. :S
But I guess this study makes sense, for the most part.Well, I'm not sure that the bias towards heterosexuals is a flaw, since most people are attracted to the opposite sex. I know, I know, human sexuality is a spectrum, etc. But in any case, it seems like these are general categories that could apply to homosexuals as well.
As for everything else, yes, I basically agree with the results. Taking care of yourself is the most important aspect of someone's attractiveness, and not just because you look better physically. There is also a general air of confidence that someone has when they are looking after themselves well. A healthy diet and exercise will not only make your body look good, it also improves teeth, eyes, hair, and nails. And you get all of those vitamins and minerals, which can fight anxiety and depression, and give you energy.
I think another damaging attitude that we have is what is changeable and what is not. Many people tend to think that their weight isn't changeable, because they haven't seen big results in one month. Others think that if they can't look like a supermodel, they aren't attractive at all. It's the extreme, all or nothing views that lead our thinking astray on this topic.