Wednesday, 02 November 2011

• Daughter Is Beaten for Pirating Music and Games + Dissecting Corporal Punishment

  
  Aransas County Court-At-Law Judge William Adams took a belt to his own teenage daughter as punishment for using the Internet to acquire music and games that were unavailable for legal purchase at the time. She has had ataxic cerebral palsy from birth that led her to a passion for technology, which was strictly forbidden by her father's backwards views. The judge's wife was emotionally abused herself and was severely manipulated into assisting the beating and should not be blamed for any content in this video.

  The judge's wife has since left the marriage due to the abuse, which continues to this day, and has sincerely apologized and repented for her part and for allowing such a thing, long before this video was even revealed to exist. Judge William Adams is not fit to be anywhere near the law system if he can't even exercise fit judgement as a parent himself. Do not allow this man to ever be re-elected again. His "judgement" is a giant farce

  -Signed, Hillary Adams, his daughter.

  That about says it all, and is the description that the victim used for her YouTube video which was captured in 2004. The video may evoke anger among other strong feelings, but I'm going to shift my focus away from this specific video to better discuss the act.

   

  Dissecting Corporal Punishment

  The ethics and efficacy of corporal punishment have long been debated by parents with differing views; more specifically, it's a battle between tradition and psychoanalytic research. With advancements in our understanding of psychology, we're more easily able to understand a person's behaviors and motivations. In other words, what people do and why they do it.

  Since at least the 17th century, Americans have been strongly in favor of using physical punishment to keep children in line and get compliance. There has been a slow and steady decline over the last 40 years, but the majority is still in favor of spankings which are legal across all states (schools being the exception in some areas). So what has empirical data revealed?

  

  To keep it short and simple, corporal punishment has only been shown to produce immediate compliance. Often parents are frustrated and want obedience on command, so their solution is to flog the child because it's a method that works in the short-term. However, studies indicate that the long-term effects can include a delinquent lifestyle, anti-social behavior, depression, and aggression (bullying, as an example).

  According to The American Academy of Pediatrics, "Corporal punishment is of limited effectiveness and has potentially deleterious side effects. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents be encouraged and assisted in the development of methods other than spanking for managing undesired behavior." So if effective disciplinary alternatives to corporal punishment exist, why hasn't The United States ratified the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child? It's an international treaty which specifically forbids the use of mental and physical violence. (See: Article 19)

  You don't see managers beating their employees for overcooking fries or spilling a Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low, One Nutrasweet, and Ice. You know what would happen if a manager were to do that? He would get served a lawsuit. You have to ask yourself: Why is it legal to discipline a young child for bad behavior or mistakes in this manner, then? If you wouldn't hit a stranger, why your son or daughter?

  It's really common for some to bring up the fact that they were beaten and "turned out fine." But what is this saying, exactly? It isn't a testament to the miracles only made possible by your parents when they gave you good, hard spankings. It means you turned out fine despite the hitting. America isn't being "pussified" as some like to claim. You say you had it worse as if it were some sort of badge of honor? Please.
  

  Trying to make some sense out of this, I looked at a few possible triggers which may turn an otherwise good parent, into a belt-wielding barbarian.

  1. The parent was also beaten as a child.

  2. Economic and marital hardships which induce stress and diminish patience.

  3. Due to their religious beliefs or country of origin, it's possible that they may feel it's tradition and a proper action to take.

  4. Alcohol abuse.

  5. Pure anger and resentment.

  None of these are valid reasons or excuses, and an adult with children should show some restraint.

  Let me tell you a little about my own experiences with physical punishment.

  
  I was quite a mischievous kid, always getting myself into some sort of trouble and running around the streets of New York in my large, tinted shades and pink short shorts. I was a mere four years old, so my parents were dictators when it came to the outfits I'd sport. It was 1990, so don't feel too bad. As much of a little troublemaker as I was, very rarely did I ever talk back or get cocky with my givers of life.

  I was all about balls. Balls of all shapes, sizes and colors. Tennis balls, basketballs, baseballs, golf balls, my own balls, you name it. I would constantly use one inside the house, perhaps playing catch with plain, beige walls or tossing it up against the ceiling. Needless to say, I broke quite a few things. Most notably, a mirror and two or three light bulbs. Nothing too fancy. Oh, how I would regret those instances.

  Without fail, my father would rage and the very flames of hell would rise up from the floor he walked on. I could hear the jingly sound of a belt buckle, and I knew what was coming. Lash after lash against my bare legs, back and smacks across the head. They were strong enough to leave marks and bruises on my skin, and the more I cried, the harder he would hit.

  "If you don't quit crying, I'm going to beat you until you do."

  What was I to do? I was afraid of this man, and the anticipation of the pain alone made me weep. How could I stop crying? I would often push my face against a pillow in an attempt to suppress the tears and the girlish, 4-year-old screams. Eventually, he would calm down and leave my room, making sure to slam the door so I knew he meant business. On top of that, I would get grounded and couldn't play Super Metroid or Yoshi's Island for weeks. I grew up along with the physical punishment, and it only came to an end when I turned 14.

  My mother had a thing for pulling my ears and making me kneel against a wall for an hour sometimes, but she would occasionally make my ears jingle just like my father. However, she showed more constraint and eventually abandoned the art of making little boys cry as she became more religious. There's one particular phase in my pre-teen and early teen years which I'll never forget.

  I wanted to grow my hair. I was tired of having the same, boring short hair. I wanted to abandon my stupid Old Navy shirts and sweat pants which I accidentally peed on in class on more than one occasion. There was a slight problem, though: My parents absolutely loathed the idea of me having a longer hairstyle. In my mother's case, it wouldn't be decent enough to show off in front of the brothers and sisters at her Jehovah's Witness meetings. In my father's case, he didn't want me to be a fag. "I'm straight as an asylum jacket," I explained. "What does hair length have to do with one's sexual orientation?"

  There was no getting through to him. I rebelled like a typical teenager, and let it grow anyway. Despite the constant anger and demands to go to the barber shop, I resisted. I resisted, until it became physical. On one particular Sunday afternoon, my father had decided he was tired of the charades. I locked myself in my bedroom, latch and all. He continuously knocked and threatened me as I remained still, hoping he would give up and leave.

  Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a body slamming full-force against my door. I locked myself in the closet behind a couple of old suitcases and stray t-shirts. Each successive ram grew louder, until the wooden door cracked open and the latch gave way. He immediately opened the closet door and grabbed me by the hair, dragging me out of my bedroom and beating me into submission. What a fucking terrible haircut that was.

   

  My dad acted out of sheer anger and a lack of patience. His trigger was me undermining his authority. Did it work? Yeah, he was successful every time. Fear was being correlated with obedience. But as previously mentioned, it only worked temporarily, and I soon grew to become even more distant from my family. Post-whippings, my father all but gave up and quit talking to me altogether. My mother adopted a better, more effective method of discipline which didn't involve violence. Even if I was still being punished for petty things, I was relieved.

  While my "beatings" were on the heavier side, an argument is made about the severity of corporal punishment and the fine line between justified punishment and clear abuse. Is there really a difference and does it matter?

  Yes, a difference does exist. A well-intentioned spanking followed by a coherent explanation on why it had to be administered is on a completely different level compared to say... a parent unleashing his anger and putting fear in the heart of his child. If we look at some definitions, it's interesting to note the differences and similarities.

  Physical Punishment: "The use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience bodily pain or discomfort so as to correct or punish the child's behavior."
  Physical Abuse: "The infliction of physical injury as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning, shaking, or otherwise harming a child."

  Does it mean that one is okay, and the other isn't? Or are they both wrong? They're similar, but one is an act of greater culpability. However, the existence of physical abuse doesn't absolve the act of lesser culpability, being physical punishment.

  While I don't find mild, well-intentioned physical punishment to be wrong per se, I do suggest using other methods. It's silly to use violence at all when there's evidence suggesting negative long-term effects. So what other methods can parents use?

  
  1. Positive reinforcement is a great tool which can provide long-lasting effects. You reward the child for good behavior and when they meet certain expectations. It'll boost their self-esteem.

  2. Simply be a good example! While television and outside influences play a role in the development of a child, ultimately, you're the parent and you'll be around them more than anyone else. If you don't have your head on straight and can't provide a positive example for your children, how can you expect them to take you seriously? In some cases, they'll even adopt the negative behavior and bad habits, such as violence.

  3. Use words, not actions. Let the child express him or herself, and really listen. Don't interrupt them or shoot them down; let them communicate. "If a child would verbalize his feelings, he would learn to delay action." - Anny Katan. This would help to regulate tension. Make sure to explain yourself as well, so the child knows where you're coming from.

  4. Consistency is important because you want to set limits and remain clear. Don't make empty threats; instead, stick to your word. This will help the child learn appropriate behavior.

  5. If they whine or throw a temper tantrum, simply ignore it. This is a form of negative attention seeking. This doesn't mean that you should always ignore your child, but if you respond to this negative behavior, they're going to keep using it because they know it works and gets your attention. Instead, ask questions and show a genuine interest in their life and day-to-day activities. Be their buddy.

  6. Redirect their misbehavior. Let them know what the more effective and correct manner to achieve things is. It's possible that the child doesn't know any other way to get what they want, so immediately punishing them may do more harm than good. Aim to teach them before taking any further action.

  7. Always keep your cool, and remain in control of your emotions.

  There are many other suggestions, but that's a pretty good start.

   

  There's really no reason to use corporal punishment on your child with so many available resources explaining alternative methods. Why take the risk of potentially damaging your children psychologically? Resorting to violence is a coward's way out of taking the time to really connect and understand children. Having experienced the bitter end of it, I've decided that my future children are going to live without the fear and shame that comes with a raised hand and a misused belt.

  What's your stance on corporal punishment? Do you/will you practice it on your kids?

  Links for further reading: [x]
  

  
  

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