From the time I was a little girl, I tended to hear the same, uniform response from all of my female relatives about white men: stay away from them. According to my relatives and equally uninformed friends, white men and men of other cultures viewed Black women as loud, disgusting, and merely as "Flavors of the Week" to be toyed around with until they found a suitable partner in marriage.
And I believed those lies for a good 17 years, shying away from intense conversations with men of other races because I genuinely believed that they perceived me as a sort of lesser being that was not really worthy of their attention. I don't even want to estimate the number of boyfriends I could have had but missed out on because of my family and friends' antiquated thoughts on race and dating.
Then, this summer, two things happened: GHP (a four-week summer college program for the top students in the state) and my discovery of YouTube.
At GHP, (and Dartmouth Bound, now that I think of it), I had never had the pleasure to be surrounded by so many intelligent men of all
races who actually thought of my intelligence as a good thing and not an annoying demerit. At GHP, I was no longer just a Black person- I was Amanda, a seventeen-year-old girl who liked foreign policy and Star Trek
. Through our discussions about race in our abstract English classes, we all realized that we found each other incredibly sexy, and that the only reason why we had never dated "out" before was because of absurd myths and frustrating societal constraints.
Then, on YouTube, I discovered scores of videos featuring happy and non-dysfunctional interracial couples, as well as videos of white and Asian men declaring their love openly for Black women, but that they were too afraid of being shut down to come talk to us.To all men of different races: Black women are people too.
We have feelings, and the majority of us are not
loud and/or ghetto. That is an incorrect stereotype perpetuated in ignorant movies. Come and talk to us; we're really quite nice.To Black women: Don't be afraid of dating "out"
. If your family or friends are threatening to disown you for dating a "white boy," ignore them. They aren't really looking out for your best interests. You never know, Mr. Right could end up being Mr. White...or Mr. Asian...or Mr. Hispanic. You get my point. For inspiration, watch my favorite interracial romantic comedy, Something New.Do men of other races really think Black women are attractive and/or marriage potential? Are Black women open to dating men of other races?