Friday, 28 October 2011
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How to Choose Between Two Guys
I have a feeling that no one is going to read this, but I'm going to write it anyway because:
a. I'm desperate for someone, anyone, to hear me out
b. I can't ask anybody I actually *know* in real life for fear of being found out and
c. I have nothing else to do.A little bit about myself. I am a teenager. I am a girl. And I am an optimist. So I always think, "Maybe this time he'll change..."
I need your help choosing between two guys. Here's the breakdown:
Guy # 1: Let's call him Scott. Scott is cute, funny, exciting, and tall. Like, really tall. I'm into tall guys, so this is a VERY big detail for me. However, Scott is a flirt. He flirts with a lot of girls, but he shows me more attention than he shows them. But still. He flirts. Also, Scott's sister, Sarah, is a very good friend of mine. So if anything that happens between Scott and I, my relationship with Sarah is in jeopardy. Scott is the same age as me, has a really nice laugh, and is confident. Scott's favorite color is red and he wants to be an engineer (Okay, that last bit of info wasn't necessary but I want you to know how well I know Scott)
Guy # 2: Let's call him Alex. Let me tell you something, readers. I know NOTHING about Alex. I've seen him around at school a few times, we have mutual friends, and maybe even mutual teachers. But that's where it stops. NO classes together at all. And we've talked once. And in that five minute conversation, I found out his name, the sound of his amazing voice, the sight of his beautiful smile, and the fact that he is extremely shy. He does not talk to girls (which makes all the girls want him even more), he does not associate with people other then his group of friends, and he does not talk much. He's perfect. The one time I talked to Alex (a dare, btw), I was congratulated for being the only girl to keep a conversation with him for more than a hot minute. Alex is the same height as me, has a orange/gray plaid shirt that looks *amazing* on him, and has a beautiful smile (did I already mention that?)
So help me, readers. Which one appeals more to you, Scott or Alex?
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Comments (31)
okay 1) knowing a favorite color and career choice is extremely common basic information that doesnt prove you know him well at all.
2) for scott you can find some way to tactfully ease things down (if later you decide you want to. if you kind of let things down gradually you shouldnt lose your friendship over it)
3) talk to guy #2 more. there seems to be potential there.
Um, neither to be honest.
Why does Scott flirt with so many girls? Is he flirting without knowing it or is he flirting because he likes the attention he gets from girls? If he's single then he's not tied down and can flirt with who ever he wants. But if I was looking for someone to try and pursue, I wouldn't go with the serial flirter.
Why doesn't Alex talk to anyone? Especially girls? You even said that he's quiet with his friends. Sure, it can be mysterious but it can also be creepy. I'd try to find out more about him before you even become "attracted" to him in any way.
You talked to him on a dare. hahaha. are you like 14? Teenager? You should be old enough to know that you should just talk to him yourself and ask him if he wants to hang out some time. It's not hard!
and you have another one wrong. You shouldn't think that if your relationship with guy number 1 doesn't work out that'll ruin your relationship with his sister.. his sister should be your friend first and foremost. Not the other way around.
It's impossible to offer advice on which guy you should "choose" if you say nothing about his personality, interests, or how he treats you. Height and fashion choices are pretty irrelevant. Get to know them better first, and then decide for yourself. No one can really tell you who to like.
Since you asked, #2 sounds distinctively boring, I mean just being mysteriously shy doesn't make him a catch. Yes he could be but odds are he's not. Challenge him, make him work for it, find out if he wants you, if doesn't make an effort he wont work for your relation later. Just my impression, follow your hearth not my ignorant advice. Do some more soul searching if you still don't know what to do.Good luck :)
neither. they are polar opposites. one is a big flirt and the other is a shy schoolboy
you actually talked to scott but alex sounds like you have a crush on him, so he's only "perfect" because you don't know everything about him yet and you can just imagine what he might be
it mostly sounds like infatuation right now. if you like competing with other girls for scott's attention, then go for him. if you like a guy, where you have to try to read between the lines of his silence, and that amuses you, then go for him. it depends on your personal preferences, so the choice is up to you
it doesn't sound as if you are in a position to choose between the two as neither appears to be super interested in you.
They both sound fun. Get to know Alex some more, and you may find out that guys don't have to be tall to be "all that". I used to have a thing for tall guys too, but after a few average height guys, the height really didn't matter any more.
have fun, that is how I'd choose, the one that you have the most fun and are the most comfortable with
What is up with all these "Help! I need to choose between 2, 3, 500 guys!" posts lately?
i didn't even know there were 14 year olds on xanga, and here we have two posts on datingish it seems!
Ever since high school I realized a very important thing. If I ever have to choose between any guys, the answer will always be neither. If I really liked one of them enough, there wouldn't be a choice.
This was definitely written by the same troll who pretended to be 14 in another post.
.....this is weird.
this happened to me 3 years ago.
I chose guy #1, your "Scott". but I couldn't get guy #2, out of my mind. And after a month, I had to break up with "Scott" because I couldn't get my mind off Alex. (Yes, his name really was Alex!) And I should have chosen Alex first! I have been with him for three years now, couldn't be happier.
best wishes.
You said you didn't know much about Alex, yet you called him "perfect" ... Was I the only one thinking that?
Hm, neither.
Scott is a big flirt. When you're (exclusively) dating him, can you tolerate him flirting with other girls? Unless of course, he dramatically change his behavior and only flirt with you. IMO, I don't think your relationship with Scott (if you two ever date) will jeopardize your friendship with Sarah. It's two very different and separate relationship. It'll only change if you cheat on him.
Alex, you only met him once. You don't know anything about him. He probably talked to you to be polite. Other than that, he's a complete stranger.
Find someone who meets all your criteria; not someone whose a big flirt or someone who you just met and think he's perfect.
In my opinion, neither. It sounds more like you're simply dealing with physical attraction & feeling like your attractive with guy #1, and with guy #2, I feel like it's the mystery that attracts you to him. Neither are good reasons to seek a relationship. Be careful, and be fair!
For starters, talk to guy #2 more. Form a friendship and see what he's about. Become a friend first. Best way to learn about someone. No ulterior motives than to get to know the person, though. :)
Best wishes in finding the best,
~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
I'd personally go for Alex because:
a) I'm so into the shy-quiet type of guyb) I used to have a crush on this guy named Alex, who is also shy and quiet like the one mentioned above lolBut the advice for you is: You don't have to choose between the two guys. I mean for all you know (and not to burst your bubble or anything), neither one might be interested in you. So the first thing is to get to know both of them, hang out, get the feel and vibe from both, and then decide for yourself which one is a better fit for you =/
okie you're younger so in my view, if you could have the attention of 2 guys, why stop there? (smirks), cause honestly, a girl's gotta have options, and options is good, allows you to see the variety that's out there, kinda like shopping. so yeah, as young as you are, why commit to something? or have him commit to something with you, just enjoy how things are unless you both are serious enough, then take that step, other-wise, just have options (smiles)
alex yup definitely
If you can't pick one, don't pick any.
@xxfl1@xanga - lol ikr. "I know him so well because I know his favourite colour and what he studies" lawlz
Neither. If you can't choose between the two, neither are right. Good luck! And Alex is probably gay.
And #1 probably isn't flirting with you more than the other girls, that's probably just your perception. It's like girldar, we see what we desire. lol
so why is alex amazing? cuz he mysterious?
a couple of things:
1. My part is that i think Scott would possibly be the choice, ( by the sounds is that he does like you) or maybe look outside scott therefore not hurting your relations with his sister or him. But i wouldnt recommend it.
2. Alex sounds really shy and closted, also sounds a lil gay. (But i highly doubt that) With Alex though wouldnt you admit that is a physical attraction?? that he has the traits of a well balanced male?
Its a path that I think many people go down through life. But it messes with your brain when a option like Alex pops up (: I guessits the human instinct to find human perfection in everyway (: thats probaly why we get attracted to more than one person at once at times.
It seems as though you are in middle school or high school, so I'd have to say neither. It's not worth it if it's not forever, and you're not mature enough to take that kind of important decision into consideration yet. Also, you didn't share anything beyond the surface about them which means that either you don't know them well enough to know anything important about them or you're oblivious to what's it is that might be important.
I don't mean to sound harsh or anything. I'm trying to protect you. Throwing your heart into things that you're not prepared for will only get you hurt. Your heart is precious. Keep it safe. Wait until you're an adult before you go making adult decisions. It may not seem that serious now, but I can assure you that the inevitable breakup hurts. A lot.