Men don’t see marriage, or anticipate it, the way women do. When the benefits of marriage are doled out prematurely, from the man’s perspective, all that remains are the responsibilities. You’re thinking, "Marriage will be all this, plus — plus we can set up a home, plus we can have babies together, plus we can grow old together, and more." He’s thinking, "Marriage will be all this, minus — minus my freedoms, minus my financial independence, minus my old friends, etc." And so you have the tired old cliche about the cow and the free milk (why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?)
What do you guys think about this? Could this be a reason why SO many guys are hesitant about getting married?
Recommend
Comments (94)
I'm a guy, and wasn't hesitant about getting married ...which I did at 18.
Yeah this is bullshit. My boyfriend wants to get married and have children more than anything in the world. He's not hesitant about it whatsoever. Only thing stopping us is school.
Living together before marriage has become more socially acceptable... not to mention premarital sex is practically the norm now.
Most men who are getting all the benefits of marriage before getting married aren't in a rush to tie the knot. And why should they?marriage. It's a punishment to me. It screws me over in life, destroys my destroyed ambitions--how little they are, etc.
I'm sick of it. It's either sweetie, or I'm single for life. The love of my life is taken.
I'm insane. You want me apart of this culture, you're going to have to give me something worth taking.
This is so true but I still don't understand why they get married in the first place. I mean, the women they are so "in loooove" with can't be that important if they are gonna whine about their lost freedoms (which is a bullshit, they don't lose anything really), right?
* that is how boys view marriage, not men.
I don't think that's true for the majority of men. Men seem to be more eager for the settled down home life than most of the women I know.
I sure hope the man I marry is much more open-minded than you.
Funny, I never hear my husband complain about all the freedoms he has "lost," which must mean he knows what he had beforehand and knows what he has now and doesn't regret one damn thing about getting married to me. And I don't need anyone to tell me otherwise.
My husband wasn't all for marriage either, until we started dating and getting serious. Then next thing you know he was shopping for engagement rings, and was so damn excited about it he couldn't even keep it a secret from me, lol.
I think for the most part men who are hesitant about marriage just haven't found the right girl yet, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with holding out for the 'one' if you believe in such things.
I have a friend who is extremely anti-marriage and anti-children...but even he admitted that if found someone he loved enough, he would marry her AND seriously consider having children with her if that's what she really wanted. It's all about what you're willing to do for the 'right' person.
@haltija@xanga - @SentimentalDoll@xanga - this was NOT my own opinion-this was actually taken from an article
@dragon_king@xanga -Hmm, well that's good then, I suppose. It's sad to think though, that some guys might actually feel that way. >-<
you all are stupid.
@dragon_king@xanga - Then you should have sited your sources. This is plagiarism.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - I paraphrased this part-this isn't word for word-and PLEASE excuse me for not citing the source
@dragon_king@xanga - Don't you give me that attitude lol
@dragon_king@xanga - my response didn't in any way address the author of this post. but thanks for sharing! (:
That's interesting, because generally speaking, women are the ones who have more to lose at the altar. I believe I've heard that, statistically speaking, men live longer, healthier, better paid lives when they're married. Women, however, live the same amount of time - or less! - and don't see an increase in their happiness or paychecks.
@wretched_epiphany@xanga - That actually sounds like my husband. The trying to keep the popping the question a secret from me part XD
My man and I have been living together for about two years now, off and on between staying with parents and me being homeless. Needless to say, we both prefer living with each other more than anything. It just depends on your point of view about marriage. We want to get married, and we have had many long talks about privacy, money, children, careers, and education. It's hard, because life throws things at you that you don't expect. If we've made it this far, and still love each other, if not more, I think we can handle a marriage certificate. And I doubt he'll be reduced to a pile of tears when we get back from the honeymoon and can file as independents on our college financial aid. :P
@dragon_king@xanga - So basically you plagiarize, put nothing into context, and then expect people to NOT react negatively? You. Fail. EPICALLY.
NOT TRUE! My boyfriend talks more about marriage than I do, and he cannot
waitto marry me and start a life together. I def rec'd that comment that said this is about boys, not men. Some boys never become men, no matter what age they are. I think if a guy really loves his woman and truly want to be with her, he won't be concerned about his "freedom", friends, and etc.
@dragon_king@xanga - You still plagiarized. Did you learn nothing in grade school when they said "PLAGIARISM IS WRONG"?
At least cite where you got the article. Seriously, how the hell do you 'forget' that?
Not in our case- my husband was as excited as me about it.
Funny that not all women want a home, babies, and to be with the same man for the rest of their lives.
In my experience, I tend to find the guys who want to date for awhile, then "settle down" and get married and have kids. Even after I repeat that I will never get married and I will never have kids. Huh, funny how that works out. :-\