Last weekend, I met up with a sociable guy friend of mine, James, who usually knows the best bar and party scenes. I had a few friends in town and we had been drinking and talking at my apartment for awhile, so we were several hours late to the bar. When we finally made our way out, I received a text from James that read, "My friends are way too drunk to be at this bar. Just to warn you."
I didn't think much of it and wrote something stupid back like, "We're drunk toooooo la la la"
But I was sincerely not prepared. I should perhaps mention that my two friends who were visiting were male, and that upon entering the bar we learned that James' two friends were also male, making me the only female in the group. I gave James a hug, and then said hi to his two friends.
One of them stood up and grabbed me, pulling me across the table, and he had a hand on the back of my hair, "Hey, I'm Nick, who are you?"
His breath wreaked of whiskey and I was immediately turned off by his drunkenness (which says a fair amount considering I myself had had a few drinks).
We moved to a different table, and Nick sat next to me in the booth. The entire night he proceeded to grab me, pull me close, and loudly and obnoxiously say, "I make over 150k a year." All he talked about was his successful business, his great apartment, his luxuries, etc. I knew he wasn't making it up because James verified all of this, but the things he was saying were so self-gloating and obnoxious that it was hard to believe.
The rest of the guys kept telling Nick to watch it or to be careful when he would get too close to me, but everyone was uncomfortable, and he wouldn't stop. James told me they were going to leave soon and he was going to get them out of there, so I kept trying to suck it up and just engage in other conversations until Nick left. I kept assuming the guys were going to get him out in a minute. But they couldn't seem to force him to leave.
Finally, after about half an hour of talking at me, he said, "So what is it you do?"
I started to tell him, when he actually had the gall to put his hand over my mouth and said, "I'm just going to cut you off right there and be honest. I really want to sleep with you. So are you going to come back with me or not?"
"Excuse me?" I said.
"Come on," he said. "I have a really nice place. I told you how much I make. I'll get us a limo back." And he pulled out his phone to call his driver.
I stood up and switched seats and we left the bar shortly afterwards. Nick seemed genuinely shocked that I didn't want him.
My friends said, "Is everyone in New York such a raging asshole?"
I reassured them it was not true. But we were all seriously disturbed that someone would assume that simply because they have money, they are entitled to get whatever they want.
A lot of men I know always complain about how women are attracted to rich guys, but I want to reiterate that girls much prefer someone who is a tolerable human being. If you're a jerk, you're a jerk, and no amount of money is going to change that.
Have you ever been persuaded to date or do something sexually based on a person's bank account? How much does money turn you on? Have you witnessed money clearly overriding someone's personality to get them what they want?
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Comments (60)
Seems to me like money isn't the turn-off here, but rather the sense of entitlement that came with it for this individual.
It's also the reason I'm not a big fan of many popular hip hop songs on the radio these days. So many sing to the tune of "My girlfriend's out of town and/or I got bank so let's sex."
his drunken alcohol breath would have turned me off immediately than his money gloating although that is a turn off, too, but it is a bar, so what else would one expect
if he wants to talk about how much he makes and use it to bed a girl, he should just get a prostitute.
This isn't about money, this is his behavior. And honestly, 150k a year is not "having money". That guy's a joke.
If money is the only thing they going for them, it will be the only thing they will get. It can also be that Nick was stupidly drunk, but still, he needs to have some class. Honestly, if I were you, I would have just gotten up and move next to someone else within the first 5 minutes; especially if he just grabs you at the first sight.
people that make 150k a year get limo drivers?
I've had guys try that on me too. Telling me how much they make and expect me to want them afterwards. I don't care how much a guy has, if he is a jerk (as you said), ain't happening. @_@ the closest money has come to "turning me on" is when i met this one guy who had ALL his shit together, career and house. I had never met a guy who actually had dreams and were going for it. it was refreshing. But no chemistry so no matter that he had his shit together, we werent into one another romantically. lol.
Money just reveals what a person is like when they no longer have to be nice to people anymore.
To anybody that believes that money is everything I'll make two points. Friends or spouses attracted through money are neither of those, they're just using you as you are using them.Secondly, personality is far more important to a woman than money.
Nick is a classic example of an insecure man and along the lines of the example I use when I try to describe to friends on what not to do.
A confident, intelligent, talented, charming, wealthy, etc. man does not need to state, even a single time, that he possesses such qualities or items. He just simply is them and lets them be displayed naturally. Furthermore, I would like to add that such a man is likely generous or giving with such qualities or items; rather than holding them as trophies or achievements that exemplify how "great" he is.
Honestly, I know in the past I've been no better than Nick though. Luckily (or rather, hopefully) those years and that kind of behavior is behind me.
also if he makes 150k, he takes home about 75k. It's not life changing money.
Okay I don't know if I'm the deviant one or something, but when I know I'm just going to hook up with a guy and have no desire to get into a relationship with him, I prefer them to be smart, rich, and charismatic. Also slightly douchey.
I get in the car (first time I'd ever actually been alone with him) and first he starts saying he'll pay for me to get my car fixed. I let him know that wasn't necessary. He said it about 5 more times in 5 different ways. I told him it's not a big deal, I can handle it and actually my uncle is my mechanic so I'm sure it won't be too expensive. Then we started talking about travel and I was telling him about some of my favorite places and places I'd like to visit again. He responds by asking if I've ever been to the South of France. I say no...and he asks if I'd like him to take me. I laughed because I assumed it was a joke but no he was quite serious. After that the conversation took a weird turn and everything was about his car and his house and his vacations and his summer home, etc, etc.
Finally we get to my house and I'm about to get out of the car. I thank him for the ride, tell him to drive safely, text me when he gets home. Then he asks, "Hey so do you think I can come in for a while"? I say very clearly, "No, that's not a good idea". The door is already open I'm halfway out. He stops me and I guess as a last ditch effort asks, "Did we get paid today?" Confused, I respond, "umm yea I think so". He goes, "wait hold on a second, let me just check". Like an idiot I sit there and wait. He proceeds to call the bank on SPEAKERPHONE and check his balance. I don't remember how much it was but it was something in the tens of thousands range. He then turns to me, smirks, and says, "Can I come in now"? I was seeeething! But I managed to keep a straight face and say with all the fake cheer in the world, "Oh sweetie, the answer's still no. But you and your money have a safe trip home, ok".
Of course I got inside and called my friends and screamed about the situation on the phone. I could not believe he really thought he could essentially buy his way into coming home with me. Ugh.
Sounds like a nice, pleasant evening.
150k is a lot? Sounds like a naive kid to me.
At least he was honest? =P
I'd like to know why there are people saying $150,000 a year isn't a lot!!!!
It IS a lot for one person. Certainly he's not a fucking tv celebrity making $900,000 per episode, but compared to what many people are making, this is a LOT! So people saying $150,000 a year isn't a lot all need to STFU promptly and pull the stick out of their asses.
Secondly, no, of course having money doesn't entail you to get whatever you want. It sounds like this guy is just stupid about his money and wants to use it to impress, and get him laid.
that wasn't money being a turn off, that was drunk dudes being a turn off. money is never a turn off hahaha
@haloed@xanga - It's $150K in New York City. That's a very different matter from $150K in, say, Ottumwa, Iowa. $150K in New York City is still on the upper end of the scale, but it's not that big a deal. The cost of living in NYC is beyond insane.
@haloed@xanga - 150k considering cost of living in NYC is not a lot. You would be living comfortably but certainly not enough to justify having your own limo driver, which is why I said he's naive. He should take the money he puts into having a limo driver (which is ridiculous cause you can easily get a cab anywhere in NYC) and put it into a savings account. Or at least something more useful like a hobby where he can learn skillz and stuff.
@AmeliaHart@xanga - how is that not a lot of money?!
reeked*
@The_Aftershock_3650@xanga - @AmeliaHart@xanga - he didn't mean a personal 24 hour limo driver (or so i gather). he was taking about a livery.
LOLOL, what a fucking douchebag! It sounds like this guy would have been a douche even without money although perhaps less of a douche without gallons of alcohol. If a guy mentions how much money he makes within the first hour or so of meeting me, that is always a turn-off in my opinion because you shouldn't have to drop figures to impress someone. If you do, it probably means you don't have enough other substantial things going for you and you have to use your salary as part of the package to reel in the girl. Plus a lot of rich people are just, well, asswipes. May not seem like it at first, but money does seem to corrupt people (not EVERYBODY, just sayin' it's something I've noticed).
@TheSchizoidMan@xanga - Lol....I actually live just 2 hours or so north of Ottumwa, Iowa and I was sitting here thinking "Jesus, I would fucking LOVE to make $150,000 a year!" It's all about the cost of living. Whenever I think about how boring Iowa is, I remind myself that there are perks, such as cheaper rent, food, and clothes.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Well she said he was calling his "driver" which makes it sound like he has a driver instead of just a regular service. But even if it was just a standard limo service why not just take a cab? They're everywhere in NYC.
@written_conversations@xanga - Well it's not in NYC. Standard of living is different all throughout the US. A person making 150k in NYC might be comparable to someone making 60k in Wyoming. The standard of living in NYC is ridiculous. A tiny studio apartment can cost $1600 a month, in comparison to other nearby cities like Philadelphia where it's like $600 a month. So 150k while you won't be struggling in NYC you certainly aren't living it up. You certainly shouldn't have a "driver" and I'm surprised that he would be throwing around his weight like that kind of salary in NYC has enough clout to get women to sleep with you. Which is why he sounds naive.