One of the most immense stresses in a relationship is knowing when to cut ties and end things. For many this is a difficult task. Relationships have their ups and downs.
You're not going to have butterflies in your stomach every time your partner kisses you. The initial chemical infatuation will fade and resurface often, and good relationships rely on substance, trust, and happiness, not just sex and magic.
The lines begin to blur when the relationship isn't awful, but not what we want either.
Do you stay with someone you're content with? If you'd rank your relationship as being a 7/10, you'd probably be hard pressed to jump ship. What about a 5/10?
I'm a very logic-oriented person, and I tend to mentally tally the pros and cons of my relationships (romantic and friendships). Most relationship experts have agreed this is the worst approach to making relationship decisions, because there will always be pros and cons and determining their weight can be nearly impossible. A better approach is to look at your relationship through more realistic measures.
Do you still feel love for your partner and genuinely enjoy being around them? Do you feel that they genuinely enjoy you? If you aren't able to have fun and laugh with them, it's over.
Do you have to fight to have your needs met and get time/attention from your partner? Do you make efforts to give them your time and attention? You need to have mutual value for one another.
Can you think of ways that your partner enhances your life? Can you think of positive effects that you have on their life? Don't leave if:
-You feel happy the majority of the time, enjoy spending time with your partner, and you have fun together (duh?) Give it a chance if:
-There has been some dramatic event or occurrence that is making the relationship rocky; it may be worth waiting out
-You think couple's counseling can help and your partner is willing to give it a try
-You've felt numb or unhappy in your relationship for a period of less than 4 weeks Seriously consider leaving if:
-You've been unhappy with the relationship for greater than 4 weeks
-You feel unloved or undervalued by your partner and have addressed the issue with no effort or interest from them Leave immediately if:
- Your partner is physically or emotionally abusive towards you
-They have cheated more than once (or at all, depending on your willingness and desire to forgive them)
- Your partner has substance abuse issues that they are not attempting to resolve. (This can be touchy, because some people are able to break addictions and you have to weigh in on if you think your partner can really overcome this)
-Your partner disrespects your family, friends, or beliefs
-Your partner is abusive towards animals (I include this because many people who are abusive towards animals develop abuse tendencies towards their partner and children)
-Your friends/family greatly dislike and disapprove of your partner and can list legitimate reasons
-You feel impartial or unloving toward your partner and are unable to look past their mistakes for a reasonable amount of time
-Your partner has threatened to kill themselves if you leave them
-You only stay out of fear of being alone In your previous relationships, what made you end it? Have you stayed in mediocre relationships? Have you ever waited it out hoping they would end it first?