Sunday, 16 October 2011
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How To: Spice Up Your LDR or LTR
In LTRs (or even LDRs), it can be easy to fall into habit and follow the same patterns weekly or even daily. Of course, there are ways to spice up your relationship, and no it doesn't always have to cost you a fortune. Going on fun dates or doing something you don't normally do shouldn't be saved for anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine's Day. Save your best ideas for a Wednesday afternoon after work or classes-- you'll be surprised how much you enjoy a change of pace together.Here are some ideas to get the ball rolling for you and your SO if you are in an LTR:
- If you live near the border of another state, go on a mini-road trip for the afternoon. You don't necessarily need a destination other than to get to the other state. The drive will be the adventure. Stop for food at a place you haven't been to before.
- Depending on your location or what you're into (and your monetary situation), try an adventurous activity like horseback riding or surf lessons.
- Find a free show in your community and attend it. If you don't like it, it's free so you can leave with out any real loss.
- Try teaching other about your childhood favorites and play your old favorite board game or pull out Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots.
- Go to a local Museum and point out the things you like the most. Tell each other why it moves you.
- Build a science project! Make a lightbulb out of a potato. It's a great way to work together and find out how you take control together in a situation.
- Go paint balling. If you can find a bunch of friends, then be on the same team as your SO.
- Take a night class together if you're out of school. If you're still in school and go to the same university, take a class together there.
- Go to the park and jump in leaf piles.
- Go for a hike.
- Draw portraits of each other and don't show them until you're all finished.
- Talk about your sexual fantasies. Find a common ground and try it.
- Go outside and create your own photo shoot together.
- Start a collection.
- Go to your local bookstore, pick out the best book you ever read, then trade. Talk about what you liked when you finish the books.
...If you are in an LDR:
- Make your own dinner and have a video chat date.
- Write a journalistic type book for each other. Even better if it's handwritten.
- Shop online for each other. Put an outfit together and email it to your SO. Tell him/her how much you'd like it on them.
- Start a Facebook group just the two of you so you can write to each other whenever you want.
- Send each other packages of your favorite candy.
- Send a message in a bottle.
- Video chat and have a dress up.
- Have an Oreo race while video chatting.
- Fall asleep on the phone.
- Tell a story together by texting each other full sentences and going back and forth.
- Talk about what you want to do together when you finally get to see each other.
- Make a list of why you love your SO and mail it to them.
- If you plan to have a future living together, do research on your favorite interior and exterior designs. Email your favorites to each other.
- Lay in bed while video chatting. Position yourselves so that if you were in the same bed, you'd be facing each other. Fall asleep.
How do you and your SO spice up your relationship? Have you tried any of these things? Would you?
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About the Author
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- From: TheDailyDane
- About Me: I'm Dane and I'm 20. Follow me on Twitter @danefeldman. I am a huge supporter of long-term relationships. What's the fun in knowing something will end in a week? Stick around for some long-term bloggin'.
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Comments (42)
My SO and I did a lot of these things when we were LDR. Love this, thank you!
LDR: "send a dirty picture to me, send a dirty picture...." hahaha, those song lyrics were going through my head the whole time ;)
I'm excited for sending Christmas presents to my LDR :)
Thanks for the suggestions!!! I'm in an LTR/engaged/LDR, so the tips are completely relevant for me (already did the candy exchange. :P)
My experience is that LDRs are really difficult. They can make you get into all sorts of fights about nothing in particular. My personal opinion is that you should just break up and stay close during that time and hope to get back together. But a lot of these things can be great even if you're not "official".
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Great post. Thanks for the LTR ideas.
This list is seriously exactly what I need right now. I love love love my relationship but we totally get a rut sometimes.
These are cute, but totally not how my bf and i typically interact with one another non-LDR. Now that we are in one, we pretty much act the same as before, only we see each other less. But, having been together for 3 years now, and both of us studying in our separate grad programs, plus my job, no time for cuteness. I think most people get really confused at my lack of whimpering over the subject.
@WhyILoveYouNeverKnow - I can't do LDR, either, and I've found the same thing happened with us when we tried. We fall in and out of it again and again, it's tough.
I can't do long-distance relationships. I've been in three and they all ended in disaster because of communication/distance problems. But this is a good list for those who are strong enough to do it :)
Thank you do much for this article. My so and I struggle over missig each other. He's all the way in Germany.
@WhyILoveYouNeverKnow - "just break up and stay close"... your experience obviously does not reflect a lot of couples in these situations, and there was really no need to say this. Just because it didn't work for you doesn't mean others should just break up. This is a post to help those who are in successful LDRs but in a routine... many people make long distance work very well and I can honestly say some of their relationships end up being even better than people I know in non-LDRs. If the two people want it to work, they make it happen... people in LDRs, including myself, really don't need to hear people say "just break up" or "our relationships aren't going to work" or they aren't "real".
I'm currently in a LDR and LTR situation, so a lot of these ideas will definitely be put to use. I think having lunch/dinner dates with my SO over skype is romantic even though there's distance. It definitely helps bridge that distance between us :) oh and falling asleep over skype.
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great ideas! :D
@killxmyxfate@xanga - @WhyILoveYouNeverKnow - sorry, but I agree with WhyILoveYouNeverKnow... from personal experience, it's just too difficult, especially if you find sex really important. I've personally found it's best to just keep in close touch and tell them you miss them and do your own thing. It's really difficult when you love someone, but this is just what I've found is the best way to do it, since my SO and I were still in love for years while we lived thousands of miles apart. We'd get into fights during that time because of the distance, so we decided to break up and keep really tight. Now we're back together and really, really happy. But if you want to do a LDR, go ahead! I just don't think it works very well over long time periods from personal experience and what I've heard from other people. I hope it works great for you!
@lifeisakickinthehead - well from MY experience it can work wonderfully. So it's frustrating to hear people give others a negative outlook because it truly depends on the people. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years in a LDR. And the long distance is ending in a few months... so actually, it does work great for some people. I just think it's wrong to advise people to "break up" when actually something wonderful can come from a LDR. My boyfriend and I had a VERY successful relationship. It takes effort, and if you truly love someone, you can definitely make it work.
For anyone else who's in a LDR, don't be discouraged, it can work.
@killxmyxfate@xanga - I think you're confusing their term "breaking up" with your own definition. It seems as though they mean to stay exclusive but don't act as though every little thing your SO does is important (like forgetting to call or something.)
For instance, my current bf and I had to "break up" like this just to stay together. We remained very good friends and talked alll the time and still hung out quite frequently, but we didn't make it official until we were both sure we could leave the resent we had for each other behind. we didn't see other people, we just.. relaxed for a few months. Space. Time.
Breaking up does work.
I like these. =]
@WhyILoveYouNeverKnow - I'm glad I didn't follow your advice---I wouldn't be happy and engaged after 4 + years of LDR. LDR is hard, but it CAN work. You must brave the unknown, sacrifice, and compromise. You learn to be independent and *hopefully* resolve conflicts.
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience with LDR. My advice for you is and everyone who fears LDRs---don't allow distance to destroy a chance at love. Fear is an evil thing.
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - hahah. I'm in the same boat. When I tell people my fiance is 3,000 miles away, their response is: OMG, it must be so difficult! How do you guys stay together? I couldn't go without seeing my so-so for a day or weeks! They all are surprised by my calm demeanor and lack of sadness over said subject.
I can't do LDR... I live with my fiance (for the last 4 months) and will be doing so even after we're married... since we have "misinterpreted communication issues" as it is!
Great post except I've done all this in the beginning of the relationship... Except jumping into piles of leaves because I have this weird thing against bugs and wet leaves...EWWW We both work 5 days of the week, we often try to make DINNER our time to totally be MUSHY together, watch our shows, eat side by side (after we cook it together) and every now and then, we'll kiss. We don't do it infront of others, lest it makes ppl gag... BUT lately, he's been working late until 8-9, I eat alone and it's not helping us have any "affection" time. Heck, we'd be lucky if I'm awake when he comes home from work. O_o
Anyway.. going to a close by area for a weekend does help... or next city even and try all the new locations (dinners, museums, gallery openings, etc) or make a picnic and if you get rained in, you can spread it on the living room and do it like when you used to when you were kids (I did that a lot). Or I'd bake him some sweets, deliver it to his work place and leave it for his desk when he gets back from a meeting, etc. Surprises do work... Sometimes he'd do it also.
Can somebody explain to me wtf a LTR is? o_O