Friday, 14 October 2011
Looking back on my past relationships, I am not sure what I was thinking. Everything was always fine and peachy in the beginning, but there was always a certain point in the relationship where I started to see red flags. The rational side of me picked up on them immediately. Things like; standing me up for dates, talking down to me (like they thought I was an idiot), noticing other girls more, bailing on me for friends,etc. However, the hopeless romantic side of me just wrote them off as things that "boys just do." Another side of me wrote them off because I had this fear of becoming the dreaded "bitchy" girlfriend.
I never said anything until things just didn't seem fair to me at all and I just couldn't take it anymore.
This always ended up in an argument where my significant other would talk at me for an hour about how dumb I was to think what I thought.
When I met my ex-boyfriend, "Austen," everything seemed perfect at first. We had a lot in common and soon fell madly in love with each other (or so I thought). We both wanted to go to the same college and made plans to move to the college town together. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go because he sabotaged the whole thing. We were together for almost a year before I started to notice a drastic change in his behavior towards me.
If I didn't understand a witty joke he told, he belittled me. If I didn't agree with him all the time, I never loved him. He liked to be around me less. He didn't like to talk much. He actually got to the point where he had no concern over the things that were important to me.
It was heartbreaking knowing that he wasn't the man I fell in love with. Every promise, every word, every action was all a fallacy. I was so blind with love I centered my whole world around him. Eventually reality forced me to come crashing back down...hard.
After we broke up, I felt lost. My self-esteem plummeted drastically and I became scared of people and what they might think about me.
Women come at everything emotionally. It's really easy for us to get caught up in the moment and not be aware of issues. We fall in love so deeply we end up believing the person is perfect. After they start showing us warning signs, it becomes harder for us to deal with the situation the way we should...rationally. If we just took a step back to look at things more objectively, I believe we wouldn't end up heartbroken as often.
So when you meet Mr. Right, keep in mind that he may only be Mr. Right Now. Be more conscious of what you deserve and do not settle for anything less. If you start to notice red flags, take a minute to try to tame the emotional turmoil you might be experiencing to decide whether or not the relationship is good for you.
You're amazing and he is lucky to be graced with your presence.
Have you ever felt this way?