Friday, 14 October 2011
I think one of the biggest yet most rational reasons why many guys are afraid to ask women out, especially very attractive women, is that they're afraid to be told something along the lines of "I have a boyfriend." Typically, when a woman tells a guy that pursued her this, he will lose control. It will send him in a frenzy because everything was fine and harmless until then.
Think about it - a guy who is not a natural at approaching women will have to accumulate a lot of energy just to develop the nerve to go up to talk to a girl that he finds attractive. When he asks her out and she says "I already have a boyfriend, sorry" or somehow she brings her boyfriend up, all that energy will just implode. He would become so self-conscious and feel so embarrassed that it becomes very difficult for him to continue on speaking while at ease because he now feels so tense.
When this happens, his response would be along the lines of "Oh...okay..." while fiddling around and looking nervous. When he breaks off the conversation, he will walk away with that really nasty feeling in his chest that makes him want to beat himself up. No guy wants to EVER experience this feeling, so it can be understandable why they would be afraid to approach women they're attracted to.
Now of course, there are some guys who are so cocky that they will continue to be pushy like the guy that Daybreak met at the Dave Matthews Band concert, and then there are guys who are so skilled and so in control that they can take advantage of the situation.
Most guys believe that when a woman says she's already committed to someone, she's just being loyal to whoever that guy is. Makes sense, right? After some deeper studying however, I found that may not be the case. In fact, most of the time this isn't the case. I firmly believe when a woman tells a guy "I have a boyfriend," she's either 1) Testing to see how he handles it, or 2) She's not interested in him whatsoever and is trying to blow him off.
A woman will even lie about having a boyfriend to a guy that she wants to leave her alone. On the flip side however, a guy who is very skilled and successful with women has the ability to make a woman fall for him even if she has been married for a number of years. This woman will either not even bring up the fact that she's committed or if she does, the guy will be able to counter it very well. This is especially true if she recently had a fight with her mate or the relationship is all but lame.
I believe one of the first steps to approaching women you're interested in if you're not skilled in that area is to completely erase from your mind "What if she has a boyfriend or husband?" That will help prop yourself up and not make you feel intimidated and/or embarrassed that you're somehow walking into territory you don't belong in. Every woman who walks alone is fair game, and it is up to you to learn how to handle the circumstances properly.