Friday, 14 October 2011
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This One's for the Soaps!
I don't even know where in the HELL to begin. First and foremost, I work for a towing company. Yesterday made 2 years. I've known my boss for about 5 maybe 6 years. You see, My boss races late models. My dad helped him with his car for the longest time. My momma always told me he was good lookin', and I'll be damned, the first time I laid eyes on him; I was drooling.
Needless to say my momma has good taste! He's got big brown eyes, a smile to die for, all around good lookin', like his mannerisms, and since I've been working for him I see his good heart. I'm 21 and he's 26. I think I've fallen for my boss! YIKES! Here's my Problem: I have been with my fiance for 3 years. I love him, I do. He's my first love. But I'm always wondering is something missing? Or am I just being selfish and I don't realize what I have right in front of me?
Anyways, My boss just got out of a 3 year relationship with the SHEdevil we'll call Elle. Now, seeing how yesterday was my two year anniversary working at my job, My boss let me work half a day... gave me $100 and I'm still getting paid for the hours I left. He said, "I really appreciate everything you do, go get your nails done or something." But the fact that he didn't HAVE to do any of that just makes me wonder even more? He's always doing stuff like that.
Monday, one of my drivers I was dispatching started FLIPPING out on me. I told my boss, and let's just say I feel so guilty and responsible for this guy losing his job (but my boss handled the situation in 2.5 seconds). He never lets ANYONE disrespect me. If I call in sick, I usually get paid for the day I took off. I haven't had a car since I wrecked mine, he lets me drive his truck to lunch. The only way I know how to put it, he treats me like his towing Princess.
No one ever gets treated like I do. Not even his cousin who used to work for him before I did. Don't get me wrong we've had our ups and downs also. I've come close to walking out on my job. But something... just something, I don't know what it is, always pulls me back.
So do I keep letting myself fall for him and see where it goes, or quit being a bitch; wake up, smell the coffee and realize that I have all that I need? At this point, I'm LOST.
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About the Author
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- From: recklessx0@xanga
- Name: Adrienne
- Location: Charleston, South Carolina
- About Me: I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions... I'm turning my Cant's into cans, and my dreams into plans! I believe that love is a giant invitation to a small party. If ya can't be a good example, be a warning! :) I'm confident without the slightest bit of arrogance. You can pay for school, but ya can't buy class! hehe. You're ahead of the game? pfft; I'm ahead of the practice!
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Comments (35)
If you have to ask yourself if there's something missing in your relationship, then there probably is something missing. However, do you want to work to find that missing something or would you rather get it on with your boss?
Don't let the comfort of a three year relationship deter you from making an important change. However, you really need to think about your actions. Do you want to be single? Chances are, if you leave your fiance and things don't work out with your boss, you'll be all alone. Is that something you can handle?
it could just be an infatuation thing but you have to make the decision yourself. even if someone makes that decision for you on what to do, you're never going to be satisfied. you either leave your fiance for your boss and see if that works or stay with your fiance and just cut your losses with your boss.
If you're going to be a dispatcher, you have to be more like Louie DiPalma from Taxi.
Well, how does your boyfriend treat you? Are you sure you don't just have the hots for your boss and enjoy the attention? I'm sure there are things you and your boyfriend do that are very special, but I wouldn't know because you didn't say. You probably miss the "courtship" of a new relationship and aren't used to the maturity of your current relationship. But, I have no idea what your relationship with your boyfriend is like. It's also hard as you can't even identify what's missing. How would you know your boss has IT. Your boss also got out of a long term relationship so maybe he's just trying to be nice to get some sort of female attention.
got to love those 1st world problems..
you did not describe your fiance ONCE in this little story here.
There is so much wrong with this post... @_@ Maybe it is because you have a boyfriend. Maybe it's because you have been emotionally cheating. Or maybe it's because you're infatuated with a guy who probably doesn't look at you in any romantic way. I dunno... either way, before you go and do anything hasty, make sure of what YOU really want. -_- And he sounds like a great and giving boss so don't screw up a good job by letting your imagination run wild.
your boss could be nicer to you than anyone else because YOUR DAD also knows him and has worked with him. If you break up with your fiance that once was your love, don't break up with him so you can jump into the sack with your boss. The moment you get BEYOND that land of no return, it may never be the same. He seems to be a giving and generous GOOD boss, but he doesn't flirt with you, he doesn't make comments that would make you think OTHERWISE being a GOOD boss who KNOWS your dad.
Now, your fiance... I know you're infatuated with your boss and I know it's exciting and all fuzzy, but your fiance probably treats you just as well if not BETTER than your good looking boss. Have you been having problems that may make you doubt where your relationship stands? And if you're asking yourself that "something" may be missing, it's because you're getting thrills from your boss that "treats you like a towing princess."
Think it over A LONG time before you jump ship with your fiance so you can test out a "hunch" with your boss. In the end of the day, he's YOUR BOSS that is familiar with your FAMILY. Which goes to say, working WITH family is different from working with someone who is connected to a person he wants to continue working with. You think your parents will be happy that you've broken up w/your fiance for a good looking boss that you work for?
I think this post just exemplifies something that people, especially this poster, need to realize....
JUST BECAUSE A MAN IS BEING NICE TO YOU DOES NOT MEAN HE IS ATTRACTED OR WANTS TO F*CK YOU!
Ahhh it felt good to get that out, anyways...
Something that is attractive about your boss is he's familiar, you've known him longer than your fiance! On that point though, he's partially being nice to you because he's been around you so much and probably considers you a friend. Furthermore, he's friends with your father and you've worked for him for two years. So he has a relationship with your father to maintain and you've been a loyal employee, all of which warrant rewards and preferential treatment. It does not mean that he is attracted to you.
Speaking from my position and having owned a small business I would give preferential treatment to a star employee. If they had a great work ethic, sure let them have a sick days with pay, they probably have a valid reason and it'll benefit me in the long run anyways.
Now if your work ethic is horrendous and your a lousy employee, then yeah he probably wants to f*ck you. But I suspect that isn't the case.
To be honest, you should probably postpone your wedding with your fiance until you sort this stuff out. The fact that you provided absolutely zero details about him screams to me that there is something wrong in the relationship. There's clearly something missing from the relationship otherwise you really wouldn't have such intense feelings of attraction for your boss.
Furthermore, you met your fiance when you were about 18. My guess is your probably having doubts because you haven't explored much else and aren't sure if he's really the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. Maybe you two should take a break and see other people.
Either way, DO NOT MENTION THIS TO YOUR BOSS! That's a surefire way to make your work relationship incredibly awkward and tense. And my guess is he probably isn't going to date you to begin with, there are far too many issues that could crop up in his business because him being nice to you is then going to appear as "preferential treatment for the girlfriend". If he really is as amazing as you have depicted him to be the he's not going to have an issue finding someone else and he sure as hell isn't going to want to risk his relationship with your father just to date you.
My advice, you need to take a good long look and the mirror and figure out who you are as a person and then figure out if you really want to be with your fiance.
forget everything else in this post - if your boss is a great boss and treats you well, you don't want to do anything that will jeopardize this. a good boss and a good job are such hard things to find - imagine the implications of what a one night stand or a ruined relationship could do to this?
if you think something is missing, don't marry the poor man. marry the man who is everything you wanted and more, one who erases doubts of "what could it be like with someone else" and replaces them with, "i couldn't imagine life with anyone but you".
My fiancé is trust worthy-hardworking-loyal. He's jealous, but not psycho crazy. We have a great relationship. I really have no reason to complain. I've talked to my best friend about it because its still bothering me I don't know why I feel like somethings missing. I don't know what it is, I guess what bothers me most is I have an outgoing personality and he just does not! I get tired of motivating him. He never goes out and socializes. He has has one close friend, not including his two brothers. And that friend he rarely talks to because he's at The Citadel and also in the army. Its like I can't force him to be a social butterfly and I don't want him to be someone he's not. But I like seeing the people I love. Even if its visiting my nieces and nephew. I try and understand because we both work hard, but geeze. We've owned a house for two years, pay our bills, hell most of our friends our older than us! And I'm not saying my boss WANTS me, or anything like that! HA! His girlfriend looked like Barbie!she was home coming queen and shit, but she was also a crazy one. Honestly I could be acting like a school girl abt the whole thing, I'm still trying to gather my own thoughts on this sticky situation! As far as it goes with my boss. If you've ever worked for a towing comp. You know its tough shit, so don't think I aint got a backbone. At 19 years old I had to drive a 21 ft, flatbed F650, for the first time ever in my life.(my boss was with me, he jst wasn't allowed to drive at the time being) as you sEe, I never know what I'm walking into. I love it. Its stress 24 hrs a day. I like A challenge. my boss likes to go out and have fun. He likes to hunt, race, go out on the boat, or to the beach, a lot of the same things I like to do. Here's the more confusing part. I am more than just a dispatcher. I'm the office manager, secretary, and personal assistant. I finally put a stop to paying my bosses personal bills (house payment-house insurance, truck payment-taxes, health insurance ect) I know this man better than I know myself. Is it bad I know the last 4 of his social and our fed tax I'd # right off the top of my head? Its sick. Sick sick sick. Anyways; I wrote a list of all the things he did that pissed me off. So I sat him down, called him an asshole and left for the day I was so pissed. The next morning we talked. He even turned his phone off (which is a huge deal) we had a gOod talk, but in the middle of it he said "I love you." and quickly changed the subject. What does that meannnn? Do you say that to a "star employee?" Not I love ya, love ya, love you. It was clear as day I LOVE you. He looked like he wanted to cry, which I was a complete mess. A previous time before he and his shedevil broke up he made the comment he was "getting lonely...he's said that I'm beautiful, On days that I actually dress up for work he always makes a comment on how good I look. I feel like I have a reason to wonder the things I do. As far as my father goes. Yes; my boss respects him, and I'm sure that has a little to do with it!
.I could be over analyzing this. But I'm finally being honest with myself. But alls well that ends well.
you're totally reading too far into it
it sounds like you already know what you want to do, so go do it.
NICE PROFILE PICTURE
@Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga - Mte.
OP, stop leading your guy on-you're selfish. You don't wait to see where attraction goes while you're engaged. You break it off for the sake of his trust for you, and your own self-respect, and THEN see where the attraction goes. Get your head out of your ass. Everyone needs to make tough decisions, you're not special in this case, and if you were a decent rational person you'd reach the relatively simple "right" conclusion on your own instead of asking us to affirm this bullshit.
Yes, I am judgmental when it comes to people like you, because you'll never realize how much you're spitting on your character until you lose everything. For now, you'll thrive off the flattery and attention that "no one else gets" from your boss. Lucky you... I mean it's not like someone went out of their way to propose to you or anything.
You're right, this one is for the soaps, but soap scripts are waaay dramatic and have no place for sane adults in the real world. Grow up and decide how to handle the relationship you're in before blindsiding someone who TRUSTS YOU to not do this kind of shit to them.
But hey, if you ever find out about your fiancee doubting your relationship because of some mad infatuation towards a co-worker (who shows him too much attention while he does nothing about it AND welcomes it), remember not to care! He wouldn't care if he found out about your ridiculous crush, right? Otherwise, why the fuck would you be considering straight up lying to, insulting, disrespecting, and destroying everything you built with a man I wish we'd heard more about, as opposed to your boss with the eyes that sparkle like diamonds? You're playing on a double standard. You're just as gross as a guy would be in this situation, being a lady doesn't make it any classier.
Quit being a bitch and wake up. Sorry for being harsh, but really... don't hurt the people you love. It's hard but it doesn't have to happen. Just don't do it.
@recklessx0@xanga - You're already being dishonest. Have you told him about your feelings yet? Or your boss saying retarded shit like "I love you"?! WHAT??!!! You wrote a whole blog about your boss, and the man who loves you more than anything was mentioned as a side role when HE should have been the main concern, as opposed to what your boss's intententions are. You're not being fair to him and from a completely unbiased point of view (believe it or not given my rage at this particular topic), you're not mature enough yet to be engaged. It has nothing to do with how you FEEL in these situations; more how you choose to handle them.
Yeah, stop being a bitch. End it right now. I don't care who with, just so long as you stop being selfish, trying to have your cake and eat it too. You can't keep bullshitting with your boss while staying with your fiance, so one of them has to end.
I don't care if it's a hard decision, just fucking make it. Your indecisiveness is no excuse for playing this adolescent game.
First off, your relationship with your fiance isn't going to have that spark 24/7. Second, your boss might not be as nice if you started dating. Who knows? Maybe he looks at you as a sister or something.
If your boss wanted to date you, he'd have told you already. My advice though is to look at your relationship with your fiance. If you are already able to develop a crush on another man, that could be telling you something. Examine that. Then, worry about anything else later. Good luck.
Just role reverse it. How would you feel if he had all these thoughts about another girl? I'd think you'd be pretty crushed. Try to realize I MEAN REALLY REALIZE how much this would probably hurt him.
@recklessx0@xanga - I'm not saying your not a strong or independent woman but everyone has their limits and it sounds like your reaching yours and are getting way in over your head. You need to set boundaries with your boss and talk to your boyfriend.
The fact that your this annoyed with your boyfriend and his behavior is a clear red flag and frankly, I think you probably need to to consider ending it. If he is that anti-social that's an indicator for some other serious issues. You already believe something is missing, from you described there's some clear emotional unavailability and lack of compromise.
It's great that your successful at this age and have your own house but I personally think you've rushed things and need to slow down, A LOT!
My suggestion would be to go see a therapist, not because you have any serious issues yourself but I believe it could really help just venting and getting a neutral third party's opinion.
But what do I know, I'm just some guy on the internet.
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you may be able to work out a relationship with your fiance now, but what you're indicating is that it definitely won't last forever. so why be engaged? you will eventually be curious enough to want something new, whether it's with your boss now or someone else later.
@Guteman91 - JUST BECAUSE A MAN IS BEING NICE TO YOU DOES NOT MEAN HE IS ATTRACTED OR WANTS TO F*CK YOU!
Not always. Just usually.
It sounds like you like him, maybe you should explore this further. Just remember, sometimes men fresh out of a bad relationship could be messed up. But maybe not.
So you're attracted to two guys then? There's two males in your life? What did your fiancé do to deserve this?
You need to make some big decisions and you need to do them now. For everyone's sake.