Thursday, 13 October 2011
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Letter to a Boyfriend on Confronting Difficulties
Dear Boyfriend,You have no idea how much I love you. Every morning I wake up with you on my mind and every night I go to sleep wishing I were wrapped in your arms.
I know that we've had our struggles, our ups and downs. I know that more often than not, you've been dealt a bad hand. I wish I could take all that pain away and replace it with nothing but happy memories. Unfortunately, that is physically impossible. I do know that I can try my best to make sure that all the memories from the time we met and on are good.
I guess what I want to do is apologize for what I've done that's made some bad memories so far. I know that I'm not perfect no matter how hard I want to try and be. I've made some mistakes since we first started going out. I know this, I accept this, and I wish I hadn't done those awful things. I also know that sometimes I still make mistakes. Again, I am not perfect and I try desperately to make you as happy as I can. I don't like that I can't fix all your pain, it frustrates me, and I tend to argue. It's one of my major flaws to get defensive and argumentative when I get scared and backed into a corner. I wish I didn't because I think it would be better for us. But no matter how hard I try to not have that happen, it's my go to tactic. It's not smart and it doesn't make sense, but there it is.
I know that you are frustrated with me sometimes (perhaps often) but that you still love me. I know one of the things that drives you nuts is the fact that I ask you to promise and repeat things to me as a comfort. I'm sorry I do that to you. It's just something that helps me move on with whatever struggle I'm currently having. I don't mean to drive you nuts by asking if you promise you love me or if you're sure you'll stay. It's just one of my quirks. Just like you have yours, I have mine.
When I text you in the mornings, I'm usually cautious. I don't know if it's a good day or a bad day, and I'm always a bit worried that you'll be too sad that day to want to talk to me. I know some days you are sadder than others. I hate when you're like that. You don't want to talk to me and you convince yourself of all sorts of silly things, like you're not worth it to me, or that I don't love you as much as I do. It's all a lie of course, but it's a truth to you and that scares and frightens me. I don't want you to feel that way ever, but I guess you do. I guess there's nothing I can do to help it. I try so hard to keep it okay when you wake up that way but it's hard. Sometimes it feels like there's nothing I can do to make you feel better.
As our special anniversary approaches, I want you to remember that no matter what I always have and always will love you. I will try to do whatever I can to make sure that every day you're happy, no matter what is going on in your life. I want you to always have a happy moment in your day no matter what it is. You are so worth it.
Love Always,
L
What would you put in a letter to your SO? What kinds of difficulties have you faced in your relationships?
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- From: LoveL@lovelyish
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Comments (22)
Certainly sounds like real life to me & the letter is well done. I've become a face to face person, rather than the written word. Perhaps because I've come to realize that, often time, they make it thru the first paragraph & then the mind goes blank. Hmmm, sort of along the lines of talking to him & seeing that blank "I'd rather be any where" look on his face. Prefer to not deal on the negatives, but see what can be done to improve the positives for both of us. Life is never fair, but it is wonderful.
yes i have written many letters just like this
I would put a simply I love you in a letter to my SO, so I guess that would make it a note instead of a letter. I guess the only difficulties we have had is keeping our personal issues from past experiences out of our relationship, but we have done pretty good with that and we are on to the next step... moving in together, although I guess we already technically do as he is at my place everyday and night :)
I love writing letters to my so. Although I'm not sure he appreciates it as much as I'd like..
I'd talk to them FACE TO FACE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN FUCKING BEING.
This is really sweet (:
Love this.
I make my husband steak.
I think that says everything.
@MzSilver@xanga - Thank you! I wrote this at a down time when we were struggling. We both tend to write better than we speak..Some people are like that. And he certainly understands better when I write and he isn't able to interrupt. We're both pretty stubborn. :P
I like to write letters just so I can get out all I want to say before he tries to talk, but then again I like to talk in person so he can hear the tone in my voice and so I can see the expression on his face. My letter would go something like this:
Dear Boyfriend,
I love you and I'm NEVER giving up, no matter what. We will endure this cruel world together, forever, until death. And even after, if fate has it, I will hold your hand in Heaven.
Love,
Hollow
Love it, maybe I should do this sometime
@xx_ng_xx@xanga - You should! I really think it helps a lot....especially when there are stubborn people involved. Talking face to face is great, and most def SHOULD be done but I also think that it's important to make sure you let EVERYTHING out....And sometimes that can't always be done in a conversation. Plus, you can make sure you choose the right words as to avoid anything being said/coming off in a way you didn't intend. :)
@Jellieberrie@xanga - @GuyWhoLikesLoveLetters - Thank you! :)
my last relationship, it was one hard thing after another and i would probably address all that. it's def hard to go through the motions again but sometimes it's something that needs to be addressed.
I used to write letters often. I can express myself so much better in writing than out loud. It helps both of us understand each other better. I learn so much about myself just by taking the time to think about it enough to write, even if I never send him the letter.
I wrote one to my boyfriend today....
Perhaps it's the emotional state I'm in, but this brought tears to my eyes. I can completely relate to a lot of what you said - the frustration, wanting to take away all his pain, being unsure what kind of day it is. I guess I kind of wrote of one these yesterday, but it was more for me. It hasn't been easy lately, but I really want it to work out. I hope your "special anniversary" is a really good day for both of you (:
I blog letters to my best friend who I haven't seen since graduation. I call them letters you'll never read. I wish he could read them though.
@relentlesshearts@xanga - Thank you so much. This was tech more for me too I think...Although he has read it. But, he also has access to my blog :P Haha. I hope that you feel better with whatever is going on in your life too!!!! :)
I don't like the idea of writing a letter. I feel like it's the cowards way out.
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