So this blog has absolutely nothing to do with Karate, or Ralph Macchio and his pathetic adult film career, or old creepy Asians for that matter. We will not be discussing waxing on and off nor will we talk about torturing poor innocent flies brutally and inhumanely with a pair of wooden sticks. But there are a few parallels you can pull from the early career of the Karate Kid (the white one) that we can relate to relationships, and here at WJNTY, today, we will do just that.
#1 Practice Makes Perfect:
Do you think world class athletes, musicians, actors, artists or corporate executives were just born with dominance exuding from their fingertips? No. They practiced infectiously. The common time range given to become “pro” in your chosen discipline is ten years. Ten years of dedicated practice. Yes, of course there are some “natural” factors, but if you practice day in, day out anything for ten years, you should be in the top 2-3% of people in the world with that talent. Playing the piano, a new language, golf, writing, MMA, you name it, if you have the mental dedication, you can be one of the elite.
If you don’t practice dating, you’ll never be any good at it. I promise that every new situation that comes across your plate doesn’t have the potential to be “the one.” So take a few more liberties and have a few more dates. I’m not saying sleep with everyone, but learn exactly who’s out there. Date people from all different walks of life, from different parts of the country or world. This way when a hot Australian guy with Abs comes up to you during your friends bachelorette party 3 years into your marriage, you’ll be able to turn down the anonymous sex and cheating because you’ve already found out, that down under, they're nothing more than just another guy.
Some people might be thinking that ten years sounds ridiculous when talking about dating, but it’s really not when you look at the big picture…
Ten years is a very respectable number of years you should be on the dating scene before settling down to marry. If you started dating when you were 15 or 16, you’d be 25 or 26 years old and have a much better head on your shoulders, a little experience and some extra stability. Doesn’t sound like a terrible way to start a life with someone. I remember being 22, thinking about marriage, and feeling that I knew what I was doing. If I could go back, I’d knock some sense into 22 year old me.
#2 Never Trust Skeletons:
Everyone has skeletons in their closet. We all have one, or a few deep, dark secrets that we will hide from the majority of people. I’ll let you in on a little on of those secrets; the people who openly admit to having walls up and multiple “deep, dark” secrets are desperate for your attention, love and affection. They want you to ask about the secrets and want you to try and break through the walls, and more often than not, they’re nut jobs. If you have a “deep, dark” secret that you don’t want anyone to know… don’t tell anyone. It’s like telling a kid there’s candy in the kitchen but he can’t have any. I say keep the past in the past and don’t let it affect your everyday life. And if it does, go see a physiatrist, not your newest boyfriend.
I can understand being hesitant about letting someone completely into your life, family, feelings and or past, but keeping up multiple walls and constantly talking about them is just wrong. If someone tries to pull this shit on you, tell him or her to wax off.
#3 Don’t Try to Pull the Biggest Roll of Your Life too Young:
Ralph Macchio typecast himself as the nice, sincere, caring, high-kicking young kid way too early. And because of it, unless followed by sad laughter his name hasn’t come up since. It’s hard for child actors to graduate into more mature rolls, just as it’s hard for the most popular girl in High School to graduate to the concept of an adult relationship after her divorce with the Quarterback is finalized.
Therefore, I say don’t let your first role be your best, or even worse, your last. Work your way up thru role after role until you finally find your nitch, and the role of a lifetime. If you take too big of a role too early, when you’re not ready for the fame, you could end up hating that “role” (spouse), and after years and years of the same “interviews” (arguments), end up doing “commercials” (affairs) on the side to keep you and your “family” (your family) sane and above water.
#4 If You Have to Move to a New Place, Make Friends Quick:
Daniel was a little slow on this one. I think I remember his mom saying something like, “Be yourself!” Or, “If the kids pick on you, it’s because they like you!” Well, she may not have said exactly those words, but she might as well have. Kids of the same gender never pick on each other because they like the person. Little boys pick on little girls. It’s a form of flirting that continues well past college. It works.
But as an adult, you can’t rely on a group of bullies next door coming over and keeping you company. You’ll have to go out and make friends yourself. Joining a gym, taking your dog for a walk and wandering around a bookstore for hours won’t do anything for you unless you talk to the people around you. Put yourself out there, even if you’re shy. It will be a great way to build your confidence and find some cool new friends, all at once.
#5 Don’t be too Nice:
You know what they say, nice guys finish last. It’s true, just look at old Ralph. And me, for years. Now, it’s interesting, because I hear girls say all the time, “All I want is a nice guy!” But this really means, “all I want is a guy who is going to respect me, but is financially comfortable, has interests similar to mine, comes from a good family, is funny and will let me keep my cat!” It’s not that girls want assholes, this is a misconception, what they want is a guy who isn’t going to be pushed around, has a little mystery, is confident and has a little edge.
Many times girls only get a guy with a couple of these traits, say confidence and non-pushed-aroundedness, and they end up with an asshole. That’s their mistake, not the asshole’s. However, it’s very easy for a nice guy to typecast a guy with all these traits as an asshole. We’re not.
This goes for girls though too. Don’t be too nice to your guy, and don’t be a pushover. He wants you to keep him in check, he wants to have to try to win you over (or get you in bed) and he wants you to stand up for yourself. If you agree with everything he says, or let him get away with anything in the attempt to be “nice,” he’ll go bang the chick with sleeve tats at the coffee shop out of boredom.
#6 When a Good Thing Ends, Stay Away From the Sequels:
Did you even know there was a Karate Kid II & III? That’s what I thought… I’ll hedge a bet that it was the two sequels that kept Macchio’s career from expanding, not his boyish looks or nice guy attitude. The guy has 40 years of acting experience yet looks like a 17 year old! Tell me they couldn’t have found tweener a role for that. Anyway, once a great relationship ends, leave it that way.
Don’t keep trying to have sequels of your own. The next time you try with your ex will probably end horribly, and each time after just gets exponentially worse. Eventually you’ll wear yourself down so much from trying to keep the same franchise living, that you’ll be turned off by relationships all together. Go get a bunch of cats and move into a van down by the river, because you’re going to be jaded.
#7 If You’re the Best Around, Nothing Will Ever Keep You Down:
This one is pretty self-explanatory… I think. What I take out of it is that if you are comfortable with yourself, and know you are projecting your best version of yourself at all times, you shouldn’t be hurt by others not liking you for who you are. If you’re broken up with, don’t let him keep you down. It doesn’t matter how much you loved him, because apparently it wasn’t reciprocal, and you shouldn’t waste one second trying to remind him why you’re so amazing. Put your chin up and go out and get boyfriend 2.0, he’s out there, you just haven’t been looking hard enough.
With all this being said, Ralph Macchio today is actually an extreemly respectable man, overall nice guy, and allegedly great husband and father. And unfortunatley, that's what is keeping him from landing another job in Hollywood. Weird how that works, huh...
WJNTY - Seth