Tuesday, 11 October 2011
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Dating My Best Friend Wasn't Awkward... But He Was My Ex's Cousin
Fun/awkward fact about me: I dated my first boyfriend's cousin after we broke up. His cousin, A., was one of my best friends growing up (and still is) and though those two relationships were circa high school, I learned very early on never to blur those family lines.
My first boyfriend was abusive and controlling, so when we finally broke up it was such a huge relief for me. A. was always telling me I should break up with my first boyfriend because he was hurting me so much, but I was too stubborn to listen to his advice until the damage had been done. A. was there for me for the entire duration of my tumultuous relationship.
We spoke on the phone every day and hung out on the weekends, and eventually we started to develop feelings for each other. I had reservations about dating him because he was my ex's cousin, but I figured it would be okay since A.'s family and my ex's family stopped talking.
However, my ex's mom was a teacher at my school whom I saw often. My ex's father also substitute taught at my school whenever he could and would sometimes end up subbing for my classes. A. and I weren't trying to hide our relationship, so of course my ex found out about it.
My ex told his parents about me and A.'s relationship. They liked me while we were dating, but in an extremely unprofessional manner, his mom started to make really snide comments about me and my personal life to other teachers while I was helping out with her after-care program, or while I was helping with other school events, making sure that I heard her.
I was caught in an awkward situation where I didn't want to make a scene with all my friends and other teachers around, but I also didn't want her to get away with making such rude remarks in front of me. I would have some passing conversations with my ex if I ever bumped into him, and after I told him I didn't like the way his mom was treating me, he said it was her right to think and say whatever she wants. He also told me his entire immediate family hates me now for being "loose" and disrespectful to their family.
In retrospect it was a bad decision to jump into a relationship with my ex's cousin but I thought it was also extremely unnecessary for his mom to act in the way she did--never dating an ex's family member ever again, no matter how awesome our connection may be.
Have you ever dated an ex's relative?
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About the Author
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- From: dangelb
- About Me: My name means "daybreak" and I'm usually awake to watch the sunrise every morning. I'm a college student, obsessive tea drinker, and contemporary dancer. My first love was the piano before I learned how to love people. I love my R.O.B.--Really Outstanding Boyfriend--who gets just as excited as I do over antique books, soft-baked cookies, and Sporcle.
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Comments (32)
Dude. She's a dick.
You do what makes you happy.
I'd say ur ex's mom was a B1+ch so just leave the female dog alone and carry on.
Geez. How rude. True she may be able to think and say whatever she wants, but it is better to act like an adult than an immature teenager.
Heh, I have never dated an ex's relative, but I've dated one of their close friends... Ha.
whoa, an article not about your current boyfriend?? i think hell just froze over.
i don't think the problem (in this particular case) was that you dated your ex's cousin, but rather that you dated someone whose mother was your teacher.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - And I'm appalled you still think you can give relationship advice while you have little to no experience with relationships because no one wants to date you. I love how you are ever the 1st/main/only person who whines in these blogs while everyone else can answer the question.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - I'd rather read her blogs than your sexist blogs talking about only arrogant guys getting women. I'd rather read her stories than read about you complaining non stop saying you can't get a date yet you still proceed to bash other people. You really aren't as great as you think you are. Sit down already. This wannabe chauvinistic attitude you display is getting old. Grow up. If you don't like the blogs then stop commenting on the ones you don't like. It's rather hilarious you have the nerves to bash other people to stop commenting on Jenn's blogs if they don't like it when you don't do what you preach.
Judging from this entry...I can see where your ex got some of his behavior from. Kids, if someone ever told you who you grow up with doesn't effect who you are---they're idiots.
It's good to hear that you're still on great terms with your best friend. In the end, a relationship is limited by two people, and no one else should try to destroy something if it brings good.
@Shims - Hi Fat Shimmers. Still selling tupperware out of the trunk of your car? LOL!
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Your comebacks are so predictable and I know at one point or another you will still bring up that I'm "anonymous." you know what I find hilarious is that I think you are signed under anonymous sometimes as well trying to sound "sophisticated" and then you get on your actual name and rec'ing your own comment, especially in that sports blog. I swear the wannabe sophisticated anons are you.
@Shims - I don't recall posting under a sports blog, but whatever. I see you haven't curbed your pot addiction yet.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - You know in regards to the way you think, for a guy, you sure do complain as much as a girl would complain, then again, you are a prepubescent boy and looks it, too. No wonder you act immature. Any girl with a brain can see you are putting up a front by trying, key word, trying to come up with these pathetic sarcastic comebacks "tb;dr" lmao. whenever you try to be sarcastic it's funny cuz you try sooooo hard.
@Shims - Here, I'll fart on your face.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Immaturity at its finest. You can sit here and think you're a hot shot on the Internet, at the end of the day you are just a poor 15-year-old prepubescent boy sitting in your mother's basement bashing people on xanga and complaining about dangelb's blogs. Even when I haven't replied to you in a while I still read this site sometimes and your wannabe attitude gets old, especially when everyone else seems to be able to answer the question to blogs except for you.
I dated this one guy, and then I dated his older brother, then I dated his brother again, then I went back to the older brother, and then I landed on the younger one. It's really not as bad as it sounds.
*sniffs* There's a lot of insecurity on this commentary board.
Anyways, no luckily I've never been in situation where I've dated an ex's relative. I make it a point not to date within similar circles whenever possible. With regards to your ex's mother, it baffles me how incredibly immature and childish people can be when they're supposedly "adults". I would've had her fired.
Do what makes you happy. High school isn't the time to be worrying about relationships. There are a huge majority of people there you'll probably never see again once you graduate. (which hopefully isn't too long)
I've never been in that situation before. I wish I could say that I can't believe that an adult would act like a teenager and bash you because of your behavior, but I won't. Your ex's mom should have acted like a grown up and not like a teenaged girl.
LOL @ how Chibi & Shimms always manage to fight on every post on Datingish. Kinda feels like the norm now.
P.s. that mom and A really seem like theyre on the crazy side to me.
The mom should have relaxed a little bit. It's common for relationships to not work out in high school.
Honestly, I think dating family is a bit of a risky thing to do, but that's absolutely no excuse for her behaviour. It was extremely unprofessional, and honestly, you should have complained to someone about it.
@sleeping_on_the_edgeoftheworld@xanga - I'm getting rid of him because it just baffles my mind that he's the only one who's ever unable to answer the question to blogs without a sarcastic remark. He ruins the flow of the discussions on blogs and I figure if I call him out every time he'll stop soon enough. I've been ignoring him for a while, but it gets rather annoying trying to read people's responses with his wannabe smart alec comments in the way. only he seems to really have a problem with her blogs but his opinions really don't matter. by the way, @Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - he was the sexist pig who wrote about not understanding why women get tattoos but he understands why men get tattoos. and he was also the one who bashes short haired women for wanting their hair cut short to look like guys...and he thinks he's not sexist, lmfao.
Plus his annoying remarks about people being "fat" are getting old. I tell some of my real life friends how this @Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - chump is obsessed with bashing fat chicks and they laugh at his grade school insults calling me "fat" he truly is a mamma's boy in the basement. When will you learn your opinions don't mean shit? Shut up already, especially your expectations of women are to look like super models and barbie dolls even though those types of women you dream of having are SOOOO out of your league. My friends laugh at your immaturity and insults and they can see why you're a miserable troll online, lol. I'm actually the furthest thing from being fat but since that's all you have to insult people with that's quite pathetic.