Monday, 10 October 2011
-
Xanga Is the Journal My Boyfriend Always Reads
I've been writing for Datingish for the past three months, and a lot of the stuff I've been saying about my relationship has been both the good and the bad. I've said some really personal stuff about both myself and my boyfriend, not always displaying him in the best light, but I was always honest about the things that have happened between us.
While I just told all you Xanga users more than we would probably tell someone within the first year of knowing them, the fact that putting all of this super sensitive relationship stuff out on a public forum makes me feel a greater sense of community on the Internet.
It's a nice reminder to know that you aren't the only one who has been through similar dating experiences, and so many of us comment on these blogs, reply to each others' comments with heartfelt responses without ever talking or meeting before bumping into each other in cyberspace. It's really cool to see the kind of support system a site like Datingish can build--often users submit blogs for advice or to rant, and it's nice to see responses flood in from users around the world.
I have two Xanga accounts--this Datingish one and a regular Xanga one I have had for years. Xanga means a lot to me because it was where I first learned how to "journal" regularly, and I'm sure if I had enough patience I would be able to trace all of my relationships back to their starts just through my blogs.
Some of my friends have followed the course of my internship here and wonder how my boyfriend is okay with making public all the things I have written in the past three months. It's a very natural thing for my boyfriend and I to read each other's semi-private blogs, even when the posts are about the other.
My boyfriend and I have a very honest and open relationship--anything I have written about we've already talked about in depth, whether good or bad. I've written about the highs and lows of my other relationships, really detailed encounters with other people, and even the things we don't see eye to eye on like marriage or children. I let him read all of it because I have nothing to hide from him and sometimes it's easier for me to verbalize what I feel about a certain situation in writing. It helps me stay organized and helps me capture everything I want to say rather than just have mindless word vomit come out in person.
Do you blog about your relationships often? Can you trace the progression of your relationships through your Xanga posts? Does your SO read your Xanga?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: dangelb
- About Me: My name means "daybreak" and I'm usually awake to watch the sunrise every morning. I'm a college student, obsessive tea drinker, and contemporary dancer. My first love was the piano before I learned how to love people. I love my R.O.B.--Really Outstanding Boyfriend--who gets just as excited as I do over antique books, soft-baked cookies, and Sporcle.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 106 Views: 0 304692 Comments: 0 2754 View all posts by dangelb
Comments (41)
My SO reads my xanga. In fact, I encourage him always telling him to drop by. He even created an account. lol! However, I haven't discussed our relationship on my blog because it's pretty much vanilla. We're just like any other couple out there. And we both agree we don't need to put our lives out there on the 'net because we already communicate openly and freely.
I met my SO on Xanga. I think it's fair to say that she reads it.
I don't really type about my relationship on Xanga or anywhere else for that matter. I usually just blog about my inner demons that wants to come out. Lol. I don't think my husband reads my blog.. he don't come on Xanga anymore, but it's okay. I can always talk to him about what's bothering me and what not.
tb;dr
This past relationship that I had has caused me to blog less about it. Since we both met on here, any types of problems that I had, I try to talk it out to her (which most of the times failed because she becomes very super sensitive and then angry at me). So, I didn't blog about any of the negatives.
Of course, you see that it's different now that I'm out of that relationship.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Not as long as a pointless chipped tooth article you seem to be able to read, lol. I've seen longer and this actually has a point, not that you would know because you can't even get into a relationship.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Get over yourself. No one wants advice from you anyway. You're pathetic and can't get a relationship
I have YET to blog about my current relationship only because if I have an issue I tell him first instead of ranting on the internet. But he reads everything I do post on the interwebs only because I show him to get his opinion on something. So he kind of reads my Xanga and kinda of doesn't? I usually don't like to show what I blog about to a lot of my real life friends, because I like to use Xanga as a way to vent and feel free to say what I want without a biased response.
Public projection of relationships can be extremely detrimental. Be careful. Things are often misinterpreted and a whole host of other things.
Nothing is off limits in my blogs, online journals or paper journals! I have used them to inform me about eveything in my life and actually recently used them to help me remember how my life went at a certain time so I could write about it in a stroy I hope to get published....found out I remembered my life wrong....how embarrassing!
My SO doesn't read any of my journals or blogs. I usually end up telling him what I've written anyways. He just doesn't seem to care to read myself and I do like that because he doesn't need to know everything I think. If I wanted him to know then I'd tell him. I'm entitled to privacy and so is he.
I could only trace my current relationship through my Xanga. My old Diaryland account(s) have my relationships from when I was 14-17. I've told my boyfriend he could read my Xanga. He doesn't and I've never given him my account, but only because he expresses no interest in it. I've sent him things I've written though and we've talked about it.
No I don't write very often period though he is such an important part that he does crop up. I can tell the day I met him and how my feelings progressed from interest to love to ohmygawdcanikeephimforever?! Yes he does read my Xanga. I'm more vocal when the words don't come out of my mouth so he can really see what I'm thinking by reading my xanga. Even if I keep the entry "private" I still allow him to read it at least.
@Anonymous - Aren't you the one with the pot addiction?
My ex still visits my blog. I sometimes write about him there, but not so much anymore. We also have a joint blog that we created a few days before we broke up where we shared private stuff. He still visits that too. He used to say my personal blog was too personal for him to snoop around, but apparently it's okay now that we're not speaking for him to check it out and keep tabs on my life.
If I did write about issues between my husband and I, I would only do so in a private blog...unless I was in DIRE need of advice. Otherwise, there are some things that should remain private.
I don't blog about Nick and I much! And that's okay by me. I would constantly blog about my ex Peter on my old site because I wanted to show everyone that we were in love......honestly, looking back, I call that obsession over something which was broken.
my bf doesn't read my xanga. i feel like it's a part of that is just MINE.
LOL same here. I have a Datingish account and a private Xanga account. I've been on Xanga since 2006, I believe. And through all those times, I stuck through with at least one entry every week to keep on tabs of what I've been doing. I find it very silly reading from past posts, seeing how my writing style changed, how my sense of humor changed, and most importantly, how my life changed :) IT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Which is one of the reasons why I'm still on Xanga with all my heart and soul!
I don't have an SO, but when I do, I probably will let him read my private journal on Xanga just so he gets a glimpse of how crazy I am, as well as how chaotic my life has been before him.
Of course my bf knows about my xanga, he sometimes know when I write about him but I don't do it all the time. I don't mind sharing a piece of myself to him. It helps him to better understand me.
My husband reads my blog every once in a while. I talked him into making an account when he was going through some very rough things. It's protected and private, but it helped him.
No way. This is my place to share with you all. Not him. The way I write about my relationship is about "me" in the relationship, not about our life together. I keep a physical journal too, and do does he. We show each other things sometimes, but I could never imagine being entitled to opening his journal at any moment.
I've had my xanga for about 6 years now, so when I get an urge to go through it I definitely see patterns and get reminded of past relationships.
When I was with my ex, I never let him read my xanga. I'd mentioned to him that I had a blog site, cause he'd always see me on here, but it's the one thing I keep private from everyone so I can say whatever I want and not feel judged for it.My SO tends to read my blog from time to time. Especially when he thinks I'm mad at him..teehee. <3
My SO knew how important Xanga was to me in relaying my daily thoughts and feelings. So he made an account! He was like "how can I be any part of your life without access to this?" :D
I've been on Xanga for years, and I turned my ex onto journaling with Xanga when we were dating. Now we read eachothers (not stalker-ish) even though we are only friends. Sure, it did get hard to read/ and write during the breakup, but blogs take the good with the bad of relationships. It's a safe place for me to write about relationships... and every username I've been under has had it's fair share of relationship posts.