Saturday, 08 October 2011
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I Want a Girlfriend
Well I haven't had a "girlfriend" since 2003 for a few reasons: School, work, and personal reasons. I don't believe in having a girlfriend for "physical activities" or because "she happened to be around." If I decide to call you my girlfriend it is because I've decided I want to be with you and am considering you for the long haul (marriage).
Since now it's 2011 and almost approaching 2012, my friends have told me it is time to get a girlfriend (but it is not because of them that I am trying to find one). They told me to "get laid." (I'll save this topic for another day). Now I am thinking about certain things. I've decided to check for a public opinion and see what I can learn.
1. Is it better to date around (trial and error method) or do it my way of only being with someone because you think you two can get married?
2. As a girl, would you mind being with an inexperienced boyfriend (Never kissed before... Not sure where to take her on dates...)?
3. Is it bad to be shy and choke up on dates (I can't talk to girls I have feelings for, it is similar to having your brain wiped clean by a virus in your heart.)?
4. What's a good first "date" or "hang out?" (People have told me go out for coffee to talk, movies to try to start up a conversation while waiting or about the movie.)
5. How do you deal with girls or guys that give yes or no answers to open ended questions or never try to continue a conversation (not because they are cold to you but that's how they are)?
6. Is it a bad thing to stick around to hope that a person will like you later (be a good friend to the girl/guy through all their relationships and problems and maybe you can win them over)?
7. What do you guys think about online and long distance relationships and/or using dating sites? (Never met the person in real life and met online.)
8. Finally, HOW DO YOU KNOW IF A PERSON LIKES YOU (romantically of course)?
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About the Author
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- From: chanchina@xanga
- About Me: When I dream, I always dream of you by my side, I always dream of you holding my hand, I always dream of you in arms, I always dream of you... When you are in my dreams, I cherish them, More then my life, I can't bare to you see you hurt, I can't bare to you sad, My image of me in your heart, Is only a veil, To protect myself from you, To protect you from me... But in my dreams, You uncover that veil, You see through all those masks, And you touch my heart... I know in real life, You can still touch my heart, But only as a friend, But as conceited as I am, I want more than that, Each second I spend with you as a friend, Is each second I am turmoil, Over what I want, Over what you need, Over what I cannot give... But I still enjoy that time I am with you, I enjoy listening to your voice, I enjoy seeing you in my mind, In real life you want someone, Which is not me, You want to spend all your time with him, You wish to spend forever and a day, A
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Comments (41)
1. Yes, date! It's a great way to get to know someone, see if you like them. Doesn't mean it will work out but at least you are trying.
2.Mmmm I wouldn't mind too much... not everyone kisses the same anyway so people typically show the other how they like it. Practice makes perfect.3.Depends on the girl. Some might find it as weird but if they're on a date with you, they must like you so they shouldn't be turned off.4.Coffee is a good way just to chat and see if you can tolerate a few hours with that person. Otherwise something fun would be nice. Say, paintballing. Movies and dinner are blah. 5.If all they're saying is yes and no... I am ready to finish the date. -_- If I am the only one talking... wtf.6.Yeah... if someone doesn't like you... it's not the best idea to stick around in false hopes. =/7. I dont believe in it. If you cannot touch the person and enjoy their presence, what is the purpose. 8. They take interest in you! They make effort to see you and talk to you everyday. If you have to guess, forget it! But i dont like playing games. lol.I say date if you want to. Only way you will meet that wife you speak of. =) doesnt hurt to try. good luck. oh! and date because you want to.
1. Dating around is a more feasible option. Just make sure you don't give yourself too much to handle. That way, you can gauge more of what you want in a partner that can potentially be your wife. Sometimes, you will have to go through the bad apples to find the good ones.
2. I'm not a girl, but each girl is different and there are some who might not be experienced in dating as well. It's just a matter of how you approach them and how comfortable you make them feel around.
3. What you need to remember is to be relaxed, calm and confident in yourself. Girls do not like guys who cannot keep a conversation going or is not wiling to show that they want to have a great time.
4. A good first date option would be somewhere where you two can get to know each other. A coffee shop is a good example. Maybe going for a walk and a getting some ice cream. Do not go to a movie for a first date because the movie will be distracting and loud. You want to know more about them, not the movie.
5. You just have to keep the conversation going. Don't be afraid to go into a little bit of your opinion of the question. Who knows, maybe an experience of yours that you tell might open them up into telling their experience. The important thing is to be patient and listen when they want to talk (just make sure they don't do all the talking or listening. Find a balance).
6. Depending on how much you like the person, sometimes sticking around is not the best option. Relate this back to number one. Date around because sometimes people just aren't attracted to you despite going on more than two dates.
7.I've met someone online (here, actually) and while they can be great relationships, you would definitely lack that physical intimacy. For a first relationship, I do not recommend it.
8. They would have to be straight out and tell you. Sometimes, body language can show a lot (a lot of touching, how long they hug you for, if they hold your hand first, etc.)
Hope these help. Good luck! Don't get discouraged if the first few girls say no.
I have never had a girlfriend, never been kissed (okay I am 27) my dad friend he was not in any relationship what we knew of when he was in his 40s
I have a disability even though it is not a very knew disability, I got a medical conditon which means I might never been able to help have kids
but have been asked out once even before we got to know each other properly.
Same for a marriage propsal, she asked my parents could she married me a day after she 1st talked to me, I think if she was not a holiday enterainer rep something may have happen between us.
1. I'd date around, but have your standards. If any girl likes you, you don't want to pick her just because she likes you. Make sure you like her for who she is too, and it's along the lines of the kind of person you want.
3. Choking up on dates is normal. The more you date, the more you will learn. That's why it's good to go out on dates or just hang around girls and be comfortable.
4. I think best first date ideas are coffee because it's inexpensive, you don't have to pay for her and if you do, it's just a cup of coffee. It's a nice quieter place where you can talk to the person and get to know them better.
5. As with the talking, keep asking open ended questions that don't have yes or no answers. Ask how their family is like, what their hobbies are and why they like them. How did they get into them? What are their goals and always ask why. People might not even know themselves. You'll get those one word answers, but like I said, the more you talk to people, the more you will learn to ask better questions. It just takes practice, and it's best you start going out there and mingling.
6. The best option is the phrase: "Don't put all your eggs into one basket." You can stick around and be a good friend to a girl, but don't put all your hopes into it. Mingle around with other girls, join social groups, go to fun activities and meet other people. Even if you are shy, just go up to anyone and introduce yourself and you'll totally stumble a few times, but we're all humans. We understand, and even if it's awkward, it'll be fine. Just keep going with it and keep trying. Just man up and do it, later on you'll gain confidence and be better at it.
8. You'll see signs. They'll make an effort to try and hang out with you. They'll try to talk to you, and they'll laugh and you'll see signs of touching. But you won't know for sure. The only way to know is for her to tell you.
Don't act desperate for a gf. Enjoy your life, be happy and positive. It'll rub off on others and they might want a piece of that happiness :b
I have dated allot and after too many trial and error I've decided to wait and see if I can meet the right person, if that does not happend well I think I'll stay single. Dating is too much stress and at the end trying to like and be liked seems unnatural to me.
A friend of mine is in an long distance relationship, they've never met in real life but the way I see it, she feels really happy and they keep contact sometimes even more frecuent and intense than real life couples. So i guess it's up to you.
1. Coming from a person who didn't date around that much and went straight to attempting to settle down at a young age, at least try to date first. I slightly regret trying to steamroll ahead to finding "the one" when it's hard to know what you want in the first place if you haven't had much experience with different people. And I don't mean sex, I mean emotionally and mentally too.
2. At 22 I would mind being with a very inexperienced guy considering how experienced I am in comparison. But that is just me. I'm too impatient to wait for someone to learn all the shit I've been learning since I was 14. You're probably better off finding someone with as much experience as you or just enough that you can handle.
3. It's not bad, it's normal to me. Just don't let it get out of control. As the date goes on try to relax and bring out some confidence.
4. Anywhere you guys can talk and get to know one another. Going out to eat or have coffee are cliche but they work because it's something to do while you're talking. Just sitting there would be awkward on the first date.
5. Sometimes I'm like that but it's only if I don't know the person very well. So I would understand to an extent but if it has gone to the 4th-5th date and we still are not having an actual conversation then it's clearly not working out.
6. You could always keep the person in mind if you still like them but tying yourself down to a person that doesn't want to be with you at the time(or ever) is just heartbreaking and a waste. I just recently had a break up with my boyfriend of 6 years and all though we still keep each other in mind in case it could work out better at some other point we don't make ourselves wait for one another. I did that in the begining and trust me it just brings you down when you could be going about your life with someone that does care for you at the time.
7. I met most people I've gone out with through the internet and it works but you two have to eventually meet and start seeing each other physically at some point. It can't stay like that forever and expect it to be healthy and well-rounded. I think most people should at least give it a shot. There are so many people out there beyond your hometown or even your state.
8. I actually can't answer this question cause even I don't know when people like me lol. The most simplest way is for them to tell you or for you to ask. Thankfully the people I've gone out were very blunt and they didn't play games.
Good luck to you. Dating can seem intimidating but just bring out that inner confidence and be sure of yourself and what you want and women will respond to that.
First off, it sounds like you're wanting to jump right into a relationship because your friends are pressuring you and making you feel like a loser because you're not in one. You have to decide for yourself what you want out of life; your friends can't do that for you.
1) I can understand you want to keep your hands sanitized and only date women who you feel are marriage material, but I think the only way you're going to meet such a woman is by dating around. That way, when that woman comes around, you'll be more experienced and confident and won't try to act like you're walking on eggshells.
2) Women don't really care about where you've been in the past; they care more about now. You need to realize that you need to start somewhere and not feel insecure about the issue.
3) You need to stop putting so much value on the girls you date. That's why you're most likely feeling nervous. Yes, she's hot and she has a nice voice and she's intelligent, but you need to be the one in control of the situation. Don't think of a date as a job interview. A woman will appreciate you more if you are relaxed and comfortable.
4) Coffee shop or the like. Just as long as it's nothing too extravagant.
5) You have to break the ice. Joke around; a date shouldn't be so serious. Play a word game, or play tic tac toe on the napkin. Actually, now that I think of it, a pen and napkin is a very good ice breaker and can give you many options.
6) Most of the time, NO. If she's not attracted to you, you're going to remain a friend for life. But lets say you do end up going out some years down the road...more likely than not the relationship will not be that great. First off, you may have all these great expectations of her in your head like how great it would be to go walking through the forest or on the beach with her, or how it would feel good to cuddle her, but what if she turns out to be a terrible kisser or doesn't give you the pleasure you were hoping for? In fact, I'm hearing a lot of these friends-first relationships are devoid of any sexual activity whatsoever. It's awkward for her and it could be awkward for you. Plus, you need to realize that a good relationship doesn't consist of friends; it consists of lovers who are sexually attracted to each other and are able to express their love to each other without restraint.
7) I've had mixed opinions on online dating, but apparently a lot of guys who are very successful with women use it. You just need to realize that meeting women online isn't any easier than meeting them in person; it's just an alternative. In fact, in some cases it could be more difficult because many women trust men less when they meet them online as opposed to in person. It's more convenient though especially when you don't have time to go out to the coffee shop or other places where a lot of women hang out every night.
8) To keep it simple, she'll do all the work for you. If she's reserved though, watch her body language. If she's acting nervous and playing with her hair, smiling, laughing after every sentence, and constantly apologizing for herself, you're on the right track.
Instead of asking for answers online, answer your own questions yourself by doing it. You're never going to get anywhere in your romantic life with the mentality you have now. Try something new and explore the unknown. So yes go out on dates and meet girls. You never know. you might find that girl through your adventures. But it's all up to you. You need to get out there yourself.
1) date around. you are young, get in as many dates and different people as possible (who are what you want, seem good) . its fun and when the right person comes into your life you can be in a relationship with them. yet till then enjoy the ride.
2) its not a big deal. kind of a shocker but if everything else lined up than its fine
3) yeah figure out some way to build up your self esteem. usually guys are kind of the relaxed, confident anchors on dates. lol- i can be that way too. but remember people are looking for a partner and want to enjoy the experience. as you do too. so find some way to work it out, it'll get easier in time.
maybe build up a level of comfort with your dates, or do some sort of stress /balancing things. like working out, meditating, whatever makes you feel good
4) it depends on the girl. like for me it depends on my relationship to the guy. if we never met or really hung out- i would want coffee and just feel them out more. if we have been "talking" and have a good connection than im down for anything fun, dinner, going out somewhere exciting (some event going on) pretty much whatever sounds cool. yet my roomie on the other hand, really likes dinner dates. and if someone isnt willing to invest the money in dinner she wont be down. yet for me, if i dont know the person well enough im more into the coffee thing. yet it totally depends, each person and experience will be different.
5) id say they're not interested. remember to keep polished and at your best so more people will take the bait.
6) yes. you could leave an open door policy for later but really the chances of something happening and lining up when they're not is pretty slim.
7) DO NOT DO ANY "ONLINE" relationship and LDR stay away from! you can find someone right in ur own hometown dont get ridiculous! lol
and i know some ppl will hate me for that, but for your happiness it's alot better to just keep it simple whenever possible. an online relationship to me isnt a relationship. and a ldr is extremely stressful and id just stay away from it unless i was with someone for a long time, and he had to move and it was just a temporary thing
8) you dont quite honestly. people change their minds and views every second. so just treat them well, have fun, and girls who like you will recieve it well, be flattered, and really enjoy your company. and try to get more of it.
but give them something to go on. girls like something to dream about. and remember.
1. i used to have that opinion, and on one occasion made an exception--and i learned then that sometimes you don't really get to know how "fit" someone is for you unless you start dating first. keep in mind dating is a precursor to a relationship. it sucks to blow your money on a girl that you quickly find is unsuitable for you, but i think it's the better option.
2. the vast majority of girls aren't okay with this. this should be something you keep on the dl. what you can also do is get some practice by making out with random girls at the club--or if you have a particularly open-minded female friend, see if she'll be willing to teach you.
3. this is a silly question to ask. you already know the answer. girls like men, not pussies. exception: you can get away with this (and many, many other things) if you're really good-looking.
4. i like to start with coffee/smoothies/froyo because these things are super low-key. if you try to jump right to dinner, most girls will feel like there's a commitment. start with coffee, make it ambiguous about whether it's a date, and then make a decision from there if you think she'd be interested in going out on a real date. i don't like movies (in early stages) because you don't get to talk.
5. depends, but generally not worth your time (sign of lack of interest). i'm a particularly outgoing and talkative person, so it's difficult for me to deal with this type. perhaps you're different, though.
6. you already know the answer to this question.
7. online relationship: you're not 13 or a pedophile (i assume). online dating, eg okcupid: totally fine depending on where you live. from what i understand, it has yet to pick up steam on the west coast, whereas in new york (and other east coast cities) it's quite popular.
8. touching: good. talks about hanging out in the future: good. good body language: good. talks about exes: bad. bad body language: bad. in general, when a girl likes you, she'll signal likewise.
though i DID once read that a study showed girls are more likely to send mixed signals if she's interested than otherwise.
1.I don't date around that much either, but marriage isn't on my mind. however, I also have the "I don't settle." mentality
2.I don't mind the not kissing experience part because I've known some guys, who easily kiss girls that they barely know just because she was cute. how special would it be if he made out with me then if he casually kisses just about any girl. every kiss doesn't have to be special but still...at least have some discretion. however, I'd like the guy to plan some dates and have an idea of where we're going on dates sometimes. I'll plan some, too.
3.this metaphor is adorable. I get intimidated by guys that I like, but I get more comfortable later.
4.someplace to get drinks. casual and relaxed setting. no pressure of who pays or what to wear to impress the other. if the date doesn't go well, no big deal, it was only drinks that doesn't cost that much money as if going out with a friend.
5.I don't deal with it. I take it as a sign of disinterest if they don't even try to start a conversation or constantly give one word answers. if that's how they are, then so be it, but they aren't for me. incompatible personality. there's someone out there that is also shy and doesn't mind. most of the guys that I've liked were talkative.
6.not bad, but I'd still keep my options open and look for the red signs that she's not interested in being more than friends so you can move on. if she tells you about other guys that she likes, then most likely, she isn't interested and already friendzoned you.
7.it can work depending on how hard the both of you want to work at it or not. it can be a great tool to find out things about the person prior to meeting them or it can be a great tool for the person to be more deceptive and they aren't who they say that they are. so it is about a 50/50 chance just like in real life that they are either weirdos or "normal" whatever that means. after all, the people from online are the same people in "real life."
8.the guys often times just directly tells me his feelings. this can either work or backfire depending on her feelings for you. if I like the guy, I'll usually do something personalized for him, like write a poem for him or something that lets him know that he's special to me.
2 and 3 are actually turn ons for me, just saying, and its better to have an activity for your first date...go put put or bowling or rock climbing...something...that way, if there is an awkward pause in the conversation, you're DOING something, gives you time to think and something to talk about.
1. I don't know, it really depends on you. I've tried both methods. I still couldn't tell you which way is better.
2. Inexperienced guys...I can say I've had my share of them. There are definitely pros of being with a guy with experience because he knows what to do. But at least if an inexperienced guy is doing something wrong, I feel more comfortable telling him.
3. Er, don't choke up on a date. It's awkward for the girl. If a guy looks uncomfortable, I'm going to assume he doesn't want to be there and doesn't like me. That means unless HE calls me after the date, I'm going to assume there is no interest.
4. Something fun and casual that encourages conversation. I've done dinner mostly, but one guy took me to Dave and Buster's and my recent guy and I went to Mummies of the World. He is a med student and I love ancient history, so we both brought some interesting conversation.
5. I wouldn't know. I'd assume they weren't interested. I wouldn't want to deal with anyone who can't have a good conversation. Bleck.
6. Yes, it is a bad thing. If they say they don't like you like that, don't stick around hoping there will be a change of heart. It happens, but rarely, and usually out of rebound.
7. Having a relationship long distance or primarily online only works for a short amount of time. Don't go into it unless you plan on changing it in the near future. Dating sites on the other hand can be great. Just don't get discouraged, and be honest with the person of your intentions.
8. You know a person likes you when they tell you so, kisses you, smiles at you, keeps asking to hang out. With my current guy, he said he would call me after the first date, but I kinda went ahead and asked him out again (I asked him out on the first date via okcupid). I knew he liked me because he took me to my friend's house to dog sit and stayed pretty late even though all we were doing was talking, and then after we hugged good bye, he kissed me.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - haha, that reminds me how sometimes I've thought "I don't need a boyfriend. I'll just get a dog, and cuddle with him. Psssssh"
1. It's up to how you feel. Personally, I need to have some sort of attraction to a guy to want to date him just because I don't like dating around. I think it's awkward. For me :)
2. Not at all!!! NOT AT ALL! With those things, I think there needs to be a level of trust because I understand how things like that can be embarrassing for either person who is inexperienced in whatever the situation. I don't mind :) That's like my BF and I love love love him. :)
3. No :) It's sweet. Just be honest.
4. I think for that, you also need to know the person a little bit to know her interests. Movies are great in my opinion, but I think it's cooler if you do something a little different like going to an aquarium or something. :) You can talk the whole time about the thing you are doing. "Oh my God! LOOK AT THAT CRAZY FISH! *laughter*" Etc lol.
5. That is very frustrating. You might just not have hit the right topic yet. But as soon as you get something that interests them more, they will open up more and it will be easier to talk about more things because you both will be more comfortable.
6. Go for it and try to ask them out or tell them how you feel. If it works out, great! If not, move on. Don't waste your time. There is someone else who will like you much more :)
7. Fine fine fine. People meet each other in all sorts of ways.
8. You can usually tell. I don't like the "play hard to get" bullshit that some people do, but I feel that is more of a middle school thing to do. Maybe not... I say, again, just be honest about your own feelings and it will get the other person to be more honest. That's how I feel anyway.
GOOD LUCK! You can get a girlfriend :) My boyfriend was very shy and would never talk to girls until one day I happened to hear him talking about something guyish and joined the conversation and he was so thrown that I liked it too. Now we talk about everything and I love him and so far everything is great!
"HOW DO YOU KNOW IF A PERSON LIKES YOU" just be yourself. don't allow yourself to hope high.
A lot of women nowadays are lesbian anyway so they're not shopping in the same department store as you are. Maybe you're too good for a lot of the women out there. A lot of the ones who do date men are real gold diggers, I've noticed. I don't want my sons to take up with any gold diggers and get taken to the cleaners by them. As for your friends telling you that you should "get laid" I don't know if you should let peer pressure get to you. It is really not a matter of life and death. Other things such as food and shelter come first. Besides, I believe that safe sex (mutual masturbation) is a good idea. You might want to have some kind of physical relationship with a woman who is older than you, a lonely widow or divorced lady whose kids are out of the house, or you may want interracial sex which is pretty hot- opposites attract and if you really want to have children with a woman of child bearing age you want to have somebody who isn't your distant cousin- it tends to weed out genetic diseases.
Society not only needs to be putting less pressure on men to "get laid" but there should be less pressure on women to only date men who are their age or older. Women should be allowed to date men who are younger than them. I also believe there should be less pressure on people to identify as 100% gay or 100% straight with no in between. I believe personally, in bisexuality and pansexuality, and yes, I see nothing wrong with dating a transsexual. Nothing whatsoever. People's PARENTS don't want them to bring home a transsexual but at the end of the day, you don't have to always always always live for your parents, you have got to get a life of your own, and if that includes a sweet transsexual with a wet ass, more power to you, dude.
A lot of women nowadays are lesbian anyway so they're not shopping in the same department store as you are. Maybe you're too good for a lot of the women out there. A lot of the ones who do date men are real gold diggers, I've noticed. I don't want my sons to take up with any gold diggers and get taken to the cleaners by them. As for your friends telling you that you should "get laid" I don't know if you should let peer pressure get to you. It is really not a matter of life and death. Other things such as food and shelter come first. Besides, I believe that safe sex (mutual masturbation) is a good idea. You might want to have some kind of physical relationship with a woman who is older than you, a lonely widow or divorced lady whose kids are out of the house, or you may want interracial sex which is pretty hot- opposites attract and if you really want to have children with a woman of child bearing age you want to have somebody who isn't your distant cousin- it tends to weed out genetic diseases.
Society not only needs to be putting less pressure on men to "get laid" but there should be less pressure on women to only date men who are their age or older. Women should be allowed to date men who are younger than them. I also believe there should be less pressure on people to identify as 100% gay or 100% straight with no in between. I believe personally, in bisexuality and pansexuality, and yes, I see nothing wrong with dating a transsexual. Nothing whatsoever. People's PARENTS don't want them to bring home a transsexual but at the end of the day, you don't have to always always always live for your parents, you have got to get a life of your own, and if that includes a sweet transsexual with a wet ass, more power to you, dude.
Wow, I completely empathize with you.
1. I understand how you feel about this because I'm the same way. It's true that, as some of the people here have said, you won't be able to find out if someone is marriage material if you don't date them first. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. From my personal opinion, though, it doesn't do to "date around" either - if you're only interested in a casual fling, you'll never find out if that person is suitable. Date someone only if you really like them, and be prepared to be in it for the long run. :)
2. Being someone who doesn't believe in trial-and-error dating like you, I wouldn't mind at all. I'd find it cute, rather. I'm inexperienced in kissing and whatnot as well, so it doesn't matter. Sex before marriage though, would be a deal-breaker. As for dates, I don't think guys have to have everything planned out. Having the guy plan everything is old-fashioned romanticism, but changing it up once in a while is best (you plan, she plans, random, both plan, etc) is best.
3. That might be a little awkward, but you can work through it! It depends on if you've known this person for a while or not. You can talk about something you're interested in, she's interested in, both interested in, or comment on general things, deep things, etc. So much to talk about, once you can get into the flow of things :).
4. Movies or coffee sounds good.
5. Just keep asking questions until they open up! With some discretion depending on the topic, that is. If it's something light about what they're interested in, ask more questions and they'll usually start to respond more. Unless they don't want to be there though, usually these type of people won't mind if you chatter away, as though as you're not taking up the entire conversation and ask them for their opinion occasionally.
6. Hahaha...I'm in this situation myself. I guess you should keep your options open with the same idea as #1, but you don't need to be 100% dedicated to someone who might not ever like you back.
7. Online/Dating sites - maybe? I don't know...you should know what they look like at least, and meet up someday in person. LDR = works if your hearts are in the same place :)
8. It changes depending on the person, unfortunately, so you'll just have to find out somehow :/.
Good luck with it all!
@OP: Your questions betray your lack of experience. Realize you're looking for a person; a real, flawed person living in an oppressively big world. And to make it more difficult, we hide our flaws and insecurities from people until we get to know them, until we trust them. So, it takes time to find that real person inside the public shell. Don't draw up your idea of a 'perfect' partner and go out looking for it. By all means, put yourself out there and look around! Use all the means available to you! Don't get hung up on one person! Finding the right marriage is a search process; a process of
notsettling, of looking for the best (but not the perfect) and then compromising on the minor points.
Now, I don't think you have to date for all those...I think hanging out with girl friends is a great place to start. Women are not alien; we do talk about perfectly normal things and take part in fun activities (video games? sports? sci-fi movies? there are girls who like any of these things). So, go out there and open up. It's scary as hell, but you might be surprised by how many people DO find you interesting. :)
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Re: #6 you are so, so wrong. A proper, long-term relationship can NOT be based primarily on sex, that will fall apart every time. An emotional and intellectual connection as well as good sex will work out better every time. It's just a matter of which one you develop first; and either way can work, really. A friend of mine tells me that women want the emotional connection first whereas men want the physical (sex). But really, all people are different.
uh..
From 1-6, we are the pretty much same type of people.
Have your own standards, I don't think you are the type of people that could just go on a number of dates and not feel bad about it.
#2 is cute, that was me when I dated my recent ex (except I think I wasn't COMPLETELY inexperienced since I had my first kiss when I was in grade school/held hands with my first ex before etc.) but I still barely had any first experiences. It's hard to find dudes these days who have such a clean dating history, props!!
Ahh, all these opinions. All I know is that online dating doesn't work very well except for casual dating or if you feel like you have to select someone based on some long list of traits like some weirdos do. I know someone who got married to someone they found on match.com... Lo and behold, if you read about them on a sheet of paper, they seem perfect for each other... but when they kiss it looks like a chore. The websites have lists of all sorts of things that really can be the signs of something great, but I've never seen any relationships come from those things with any sort of real passion. And there are a LOT of creepers on them. That's what I've learned.
1. I think you should date someone you like. you don't have to necessarily want to marry them, but don't date someone just for shits and giggles and have no intention of dating them for long. so i guess.. in between marriage and casual dating lol
2. yes, but that's because I'm experienced and i probably won't like anyone that doesn't have experience. but that's just me though.. if someone really likes you, they probably won't care if you have experience or not.. as long as you're willing to learn hahaha
3-4. depends on the girl
5. if you can tell she's not interested, and that's why she's giving yes/no answers.. then move on
6. 99% no lol
7. i wouldn't, but if you're that desperate...
8. alcohol. seriously. you will be surprised at what people will tell you when they're drunk.. and you can also ask them any question and they'll answer back right away. but besides alcohol... you need more experience so you can tell.