Friday, 07 October 2011
In a relationship, there should be a balance between what you want and what your partner wants. You can't just expect to keep taking and asking for whatever you want. In order to take, you have to give a little. That's just the way it works.
Nowadays, I think most couples face that issue of compromising between one another and finding a balanced harmony. For example, a girl that I know consistently complains about how her boyfriend plays video games and won't spend time with her doing the things that she wants to do, like shopping, spending more time with her, being more romantic, etc. This issue (which appears somewhat minor to me) creates a lot of strain on their relationship, which leads to her yelling at him for his gaming and in return, he just continues to play more to push her buttons.
First off, I don't blame either one more than the other. Both of them don't seem too willing to budge any time soon, yet the problem could be easily fixed and further avoided with a little compromise.
For her, she could attempt to play video games with him. Most video games are meant/can be played with two people or even more. To me, even if she isn't good at the game or doesn't know how to play, she can always learn or improve. She is involving herself in something he enjoys and thus spending more time with him, which fixes her need for boyfriend/girlfriend quality time. And who knows, maybe they could find a game they both enjoy.
As for her boyfriend, he could put the controller down once in a while. It honestly wouldn't kill him (or his gamerscore) if he left the cyber world for a few hours or even a day to do a couple of the things she wants. Since most guys don't like shopping and practically dread it, he could just find something that sparks interest in a store while she is searching for that oh so perfect dress.
As long as he appears to be enjoying himself while going on her shopping escapade, then both can function happily in public. Hopefully.
Bottom line is most couples don't try to meet in the middle anymore. They're concerned about what they can get out of a relationship rather than what they can give to their loved one.
So, how do you compromise with your SO? What is it that you believe makes a relationship flow smoothly? Or better yet, how do you define your ideal relationship?