Wednesday, 05 October 2011
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A Pothead Will Always Choose Weed Over You
When I was 16 years old, I met a guy named Chris and fell in love with him. If you follow my blog, then you know that Chris was the best friend of my boyfriend-at-the-time. If you don't follow my blog, now you know (and also, shame on you!).
There was just one problem with Chris and, to me, it was a complete deal-breaker. He smoked weed and, occasionally, cigarettes. I am an avid anti-smoker after seeing my favorite person in the world taken from me after a lifetime of cigarette smoking and quitting too late. As far as weed goes, well, that's a whole other story.
I have no respect for people who escape their problem through drugs. And I don't want to hear that weed isn't a drug or a gateway drug or that it's grown in the dirt and is, therefore, natural and healthy. Are you high after you smoke? Do your problems seem less important, almost fading away? Then, I hate to break it to you, but that's not natural and that means you're on drugs.
I told Chris how pathetic I found potheads to be and he tried telling me that smoking once a day didn't make him a pothead. He said he was able to write better lyrics when he was high, that he saw things clearer, he understood the world better. I told him that he could see things clearly with me or with weed. He chose me...Or so I thought.
When we officially began dating, Chris vowed that he would never smoke – anything – again. He told me that "putting [his] lips to a blunt would be like putting them to another woman's lips." And, I, being in love, actually believed him.
About a year and a half later, Chris asked me how I'd feel if he were to smoke weed that weekend. I told him I'd feel fine – and I'd also be single. I was confused as to why he'd bring this up out-of-the-blue, but I was so disgusted with him that I didn't bother asking. A few days later, he said we needed to talk. Sitting on my bed, he started out with the words that no one ever wants to hear. They're pretty much second to "No offense..." in which you prepare to be highly offended.
Chris looked at me and said, "Jen, I need you to stay calm. I don't want you to freak out. Just hear me out before you go nuts."
Shit. What did this fool do?
My immediate thought was that he cheated on me. And I wasn't too far off.
"I smoked weed with my cousin last night," he said, calm as could be. As if he told me they went out for dinner.
"Get out," I said, refusing to look him in the eye.
"Baby, come on..."
"I'm not your baby," I said, nostrils flaring and my chest rising and falling like I was having some sort of attack. I walked over to my bedroom door and opened it for him. "You made sure of that when you cheated on me. Now get out."
"Cheated on you? Okay, now you're just overreacting..."
"GET OUT! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET THE HELL OUT!!!" I screamed, lunging toward my bed and pulling his arms like my tiny frame could have possibly made him move an inch.
He grabbed my arms. "I love you," he said, looking into my eyes.
And looking back into his cheating, home-wrecking, pot-smoking eyes, I said, "And I hate you. Now get the Hell out of my house and out of my life."
One of my best friends flew 3,000 miles to visit the guy she was seeing, and this jerk would smoke weed and completely ignore her the entire time she was there. Obviously he didn't last long.
Another best friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend for the same reason. And they both told me the same thing when I recently questioned why a guy I was dating preferred smoking over hanging out with me: Jen, remember, a pothead will always choose weed over you.
For more info, pop into www.JenAndMen.com.
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About the Author
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- From: Jenn
- About Me: I have been on more bad dates than I have fingers and toes to count on -- and I'm only in my early twenties! I laugh when I watch 'Sex & the City,' because I've had so many dysfunctional relationships that they might as well as made me their 5th friend. Even so, I used to love going on dates with different guys (now I only let one guy take me out on dates), eating great food, and talking on the phone until 3AM. I never did get over the idea that a guy should treat a girl like a princess -- even if I've encountered one too many frogs.
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Comments (258)
Wow, that Chris fellow certainly dodged a bullet!
I hear Datingish is full of potheads. Might wanna skedaddle, just in case.
In regards to the title, no he won't if he really cares about you.
#realexperience.Thats dumb to leave someone over smoking weed once or twice or maybe even daily. Now if it was crack that'd be a diff. story. I'd much rather date someone who smokes weed then ciggarettes honestly.
That was shitty of him. But no, potheads wont always choose weed over you, unless the relationship isn't serious and they don't really care about you. I refused to smoke weed because the guy I was with didn't like it and I knew it would ruin our relationship.
But I also think you're dumb for taking weed so seriously, but that's another issue. You only live once!
Yes, I agree completely. Broad generalizations based on the experience of a 16 year old are always so completely accurate.
Whether or not you have extensive experience with pot smokers, you have more than hit the nail on the head. People say pot doesn't have addictive chemicals but there is something that many do get addicted to: the high. You are so right with your tag line; a pothead will always choose weed over you (everything else). That is, if we're talking about the ones that seriously smoke weed, not just an occasional smoker. Some don't even have qualms about admitting to it. One of my old friends would get months behind on his bills but as long as he had pot, he didn't really care. Everything came second to it. That isn't to say that all potheads don't function because many of them have jobs and some even have families. But, they always gotta have their best friend, Mary Jane.
This is coming from someone who at one time, was a pothead and all my friends were potheads. Sooooo...I'd say I have a decent idea of the truth.
But if your belief is that pot is some horrible addicting "home-wrecking" drug, I applaud you for standing up for your beliefs.
Lol.
I agree with this. When you smoke, you're accepting any of the legal troubles that may come your way. It hurts to know he would rather risk jail time for weed than stop smoking and stay with his loved ones.
I dont date potheads, I dont have this problem
P.S : why is Jenn back ?
Anyone will choose their habits over their possible love interest. It's a part of their personality, and the way that they enjoy life, they shouldn't be made subject to your philosophies about life, and "have to choose". We don't get to make our partners change for us. That's not the point of relationships- in fact, that's almost exactly the opposite of what relationships are about. His only mistake in this was choosing to date you when he knew you had such strong feelings about it. That said, your reaction was way over the top.
I didn't even bother reading this because the title in itself is not true.
That said, perhaps you'd hate me too as I have a similar vice: my career. Sorry, any significant other is going to have to realize that she will take a back seat to my career as that's the single most important thing in my life. Don't like it? Don't date me!
I don't like weed smokers EITHER, but if he was a smoker before and he didn't for a whole year and half (not that I'd believe that fact either) because your relationship obviously meant more to him than you think, you might have over-reacted just a little
I think it was probably the way you weren't with him when he was out with cousin to whip the leash back so he can't do anything he wants to do.
Granted, I'd break up with a guy if he lied to me about a promise: never to smoke anything ever again, then fess up before I figure it out. I think your 16 yr old self was quite the drama queen as you are now, but kudos for fighting for what you believe in...even if it's over the top of calling weed a "home wrecker" drug.
If you don't like weed, don't date someone who has such a different opinion of it than you do. You had to know going into the relationship that it might be a struggle for him to hear that he has to choose between doing something pretty normal and someone new in his life. It doesn't mean he didn't like you or he's an asshole, it's just very hard to make someone change. You weren't very forgiving.
I do understand that you hold a belief and it's important to you that the people in your life respect that, though. You had some right to be upset when he made a promise.
I know a few weed smokers. my room mate was a weed smoker and the smell would wander towards my room-that ish stank like a rotten corpse, not that I know what a rotten corpse would smell like
anyway, weed smokers are usually funny to talk to, but when they come down from their high, they often pass out while I'm sober and still wide awake and have more energy to continue talking
I'd rather hang out with hyperactive people that take caffeinated energy drinks
they are too mellow and can't keep up with me, but that's the point of weed, to relax their stress, so...
I completely agree. I once had a dream that I divorced my husband because I caught him smoking cigarettes. I'd probably do the same in real life. It's disgusting, it's unhealthy, it's illegal in the case of weed, and it's a HUGE waste of money.
You know it's a Jenn blog when
a)she writes "when i was 16
b) talks about either chris or joey
again back why?!
You've got some guts showing up here again after you told the majority of datingish fuck you and supposedly "left"
This is the first thing you've written that I've actually agreed with. Pot is disgusting.
Oh yeah, I'm dating a former pothead...and guess what? He didn't choose pot over me so your title is incorrect. I don't write off people just because they smoke weed either. There are far worse things to be addicted to.
And after you claimed you "traded Joey in for a shiny new boyfriend named 'Chris'" the way you went about it, I don't pity you. Seems like Joey was the better catch after all, lol.
FYI: You definitely over reacted.
Why do you give dating advice when you can't keep a stable relationship? Relationships take effort and understanding. If you're not willing to commit to this, don't do it and spare someone the heartache
You're pitiful. I don't feel sorry for many people, but I feel sorry for you.
i love weed. my boyfriend laughs when i say pot is my other boyfriend.
Every pot smoker that I have ever met loves to spend every moment I see them talking about pot. I find that quite annoying.
If I had a significant other that smoked pot (but didn't talk about it every time I saw them), I'd have no problems with it though as long as he shared or as long as I could continue smoking cigarettes. (I've been over a year without one!)