Tuesday, 04 October 2011
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Snagging the Guy
Recently, I've begun somewhat of a friendship with this guy, whom we'll call Ed. He is someone I met at a weekly group meeting that discusses LGBT issues, on campus. This relationship spawned approximately 3 weeks ago, when I was walking alone to the after-meeting-coffee-shop-discussions. Nonetheless, he looked back and saw me, and struck up a conversation. That evening at the coffee shop, we chatted about everything and anything. I even found out he was gay too!
So, fast forward one more week, the same happens. We chatted about random things - from favourite music, to our political and religious views. Regardless, it was full of entertaining moments I enjoyed greatly. Now, onto our third time seeing each other. It was also this time that I asked for his Facebook name. Note: We never communicated outside of these weekly appointments, so that meant we've only technically seen each other 3 times in total.
Anyways, I had him friended on Facebook and acquired his email and asked whether or not he was free to hang out this weekend. The reply? He was busy and that next week would be "marginally better."
Now, I can definitely testify that the next couple of weeks will be hectic, as midterms are starting to begin. So, totally understandable that he would rather study or focus on academic success than hang out. The problem? I actually want to see him.
I don't know how to approach this, without sounding too desperate or clingy, and I definitely don't know if he's interested in me or not (from what some of my friends said through my descriptions, he supposedly might be).
Anyways, I need some dating tips on how assertive I should be, what can I use to gauge his interest in me, and most importantly: snag the guy. Thoughts?
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About the Author
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- From: iKevinL@xanga
- Name: Kevin
- Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
- About Me: An average 18 year old who absolutely loves cuddling up with a good book on his Saturday nights. Oh, I'm also what you'd call homosexual. Peace and love xx
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Comments (8)
I'm rubbish at gauging others' interest, but I'd say stay casual and see what he does when the ball is in his court. You already know you have similar interests and are both gay, so at least that's out of the way. And see what happens after midterms. Having been in college, I can say that any time there are a lot of big tests or lots of projects due, it's just not the best time to try to gauge someone's interest in you. Some people totally hole up during those times and don't pay attention to even their closest friends, while others maintain a fairly normal social life and just get a lot less sleep. You don't know what type he is yet. So just continue to be friendly to him in meetings and see what he acts like when he's less stressed out and maybe more open to getting to know people. Best of luck!
1. If he likes you, he (like you did) will reach out to you. If he doesn't, a new one will come along.
2. Be yourself. Be confident. Talk. Ask questions. Be comfortable. That's all you can do to "snag" someone short of lying or pretending to be something you aren't... and then you're just dating someone who likes someone you are not.
Well, you already asked him if he was available this weekend to hang out and he told you he was busy, but he'll be free next weekend. In the mean time, why don't you just wait until next weekend to arrive and see what it brings you? On the other hand, since you have him on FB now, whenever he's available on FB chat, strike up a conversation with him and/or when you go to your appointments. I think you can pretty much tell if someone is interested in you - but don't push it or become too aggressive at the beginning. You might scare him away!
Agree to meet him in the following week. Let things flow and see where your conversations take you guys. He didn't say that he's busy and just left it at that; he gave you a time where you two can meet up and see each other again. So, that means that he would like to see you too soon, while also focusing on school as a number one priority.
When you two do meet up, be yourself. Be comfortable, listen and talk about yourself as well; create a balance.
maybe ask him if you two could study together for midterms even though you might not have the same class that way you still get to see him.
give the guy his space
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@laytexduckie@xanga - agreed. took the words right out of my mouth.