Sunday, 02 October 2011

  • Is There Really Such a Thing As That "First Love"?

    Because if it was real, it should have worked. You would have sacrificed something to make it work because love is sacrifice. You would have found ways for it to work. Maybe you just wanted a better future more (i.e. going to a different college too far) or you wanted to pursue something you want more (i.e. becoming a musician).

    And that "we were just too young"? Did age really matter? Maybe you weren't old/mature enough to understand what love is. Or too young to handle it?

    What about "I love her/him, it was just the wrong time and place"? I heard that that is just an excuse. Because you would have made it work. You wouldn't have been able to leave.  I think that if you really love someone, either anything else doesn't matter as much (I mean there had been people who gave up their dreams to get a real job that will provide for their family) or you'd be willing to go through that experience or pursue your dreams with them. Not see them as the other option.

    I guess in order to love, they had to find out who they really are first. Or maybe it was real. People have just learn to love again. And right.

    But when you're young, you only know so much. People say that you should go and explore out there and find out who you really are. Time changes people. So things will change. (btw, you know how in marriage they say for better or worse, what if your spouse changed for the worse, would you still stay with them?) I guess what I'm saying is, no matter which one you pick (your lover or your dreams, if you're going to pick one), make sure you're not going to blame anybody for it.

    Is there really such a thing as that "first love"?

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Comments (18)

  • theartofbumbling@xanga

    i think that there is. a lot of your questions centered around why the relationship didn't work out, but you completely ignored the fact that in a relationship, two people need to be in love, not just one. of course, this complicates the matter of the first love thing... still, i know who my first love was, and i know i loved him and that i still love him (or at least, who he was - i don't know him now), after four years. the problem was that whatever feelings he had for me disappeared... so maybe i wasn't HIS first love, but the fact remains that he was mine.
  • anchoredreams@xanga

    Yes, I believe in first love. I

    thought 

    I loved my exes, but I was wrong. Now I know I'm in first love with my boyfriend. I know that it's for real.
  • GettingClosertoFine@xanga

    Sometimes love isn't enough to make a relationship work, willingness to sacrifice or no. There are personal hang-ups, distance, conflicts in future plans, chemistry and career differences.

    I wish just love was enough, though.
  • ShirleyD@xanga

    of course. first love is your well... first love. =) i had one as did many other people, as will millions more. though rarely ever do first loves turn into lifelong loves. =/ not in this day in age anymore. i think it's due to change in societal views (cultural shift) but that is my opinion. but are there first loves? for sure.
  • justXforXyou_beautiful@xanga

    To answer you question, yes there is definitely something as your first love (and I have experience it firsthand), though I don't really agree with this post. Love is not all you need to keep a relationship together, really.
  • Love_never_fails@lovelyish

    I believe in a first love. Maybe it didn't work out but does that mean that there wasn't love in the relationship? I still love my "first love" but I'm not in love with him anymore. We still talk and stuff. And by first love it doesn't necessarily mean first boyfriend. It's that first real relationship that can tell you what you want and don't want in future relationships if this one ends. You feel a spark in it and you're a total wreck when it ends.
  • Pcygniime@xanga

    First love, first infatuation, first attraction..... My wee one was really attracted to Steve and Joe off Blue's Clues, does that count? I mean she showed all the traits of someone enraptured with a significant other, and I wonder, sometimes, if that is what goes thru someone elses head when they first meet, then comes the evaluation of that person as something beyond infatuation, what with the conversations, the hormone exchange of kisses and deeper matters. Or do we go at it from: "No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered, take it, because it'll never be quite the same again". The one thing I have found is many beaus as well as belles assume that promises made are always promises kept, and we know, in the main, this is not the case.... Sad but true!  Peace
  • xhalesx@revelife

    And this is why I really don't believe that my first boyfriend was my first love. I always told him that I loved him, but I really didn't know what that meant. And now I know what love really is, and that it's a sacrifice and it involves work and commitment. And now I know what love is and I can put the word love into action (since it is an action word) with my true first love, my boyfriend (2nd), the man I'm going to marry.
  • TiredSoVeryTired@xanga

    Of course there is a "first love".  Just because a love doesn't last forever, doesn't mean it wasn't love.  However, "soul mates", well that's another story.  
  • MzSilver@xanga

    I believe there is a 'first love' for everybody. It's the beginning of learning what love is all about. It's when you find out what it's like to include someone else in your life & then find out what it's like to share all that you are with them.   Some times it's one of those 'once in a life time' loves that lasts for ever. Soul mates at the very first glance. Most times, it's one of many learning experiences that will lead you to what will hopefully be your 'last love.'   That person that will be with you to the end.      I had a 'first love' and it might have been my only love if he had not died of a heart attack at age 32.    It's life. You take it as it comes.
  • xxx_MYLiFE@xanga

    yes. and don't assume that all young people don't know what love is. i was definitely in love when i was 15... b/c im still going out w/ that person now and im 21
  • Rediscoverme@xanga

    I absolutely believe in first love.  At 18 I met and fell in love with an awesome guy but we were on different paths when it came to college.  He was headed in the direction of law school and I wasn't sure what I wanted to be or study.  His parents didn't really like me either because they thought I was a distraction and feared he would give up his schooling for me.  I couldn't bear the thought of making him choose between me and his family/law school so I sacrificed the love and moved away.  I wrote to him but his family never gave them to him.

    That was 30 years ago.  We eventually got back in contact with each other and have been friends since then as well.  We went separate ways and each got married and had a family on our own but kept kidding ourselves that the love was dead.  We never gave up on that love, just packed it away for a while.  We are now on the path toward each other again. 

    We never gave up on it and it bound us to each other over the years and is drawing us back to each other.  Our first love never died.........so yes, I absolutely believe in first love!!
  • superGchik@xanga

    there is such a thing as "first love".  i had my first love and i thought we'd end up getting married one day but it didn't happen like what i thought.  even though we loved each other, we had to come to our senses.  we were young and it was too much for us.  i remember my first kiss and our first date and remembering how nervous i was when we were alone.  he'll always have a place in my heart but it's only a place where memories lies.
  • bmillerssailor@xanga

    I think there is but it's not necessarily a "healthy" love.

    If you and/or you partner aren't healthy (mentally or emotionally) then it can be hard to love in a healthy way. There is no law that says you can only love once or only fall in love with one person. You can't help who you love and unfortunately, love can blossom in some very unhealthy situations with some unhealthy people.

    So yes, I do believe first loves exist. However, I believe loving someone is different than being IN love with someone. But that's another discussion for another time.
  • anonymous

    I always wondered this.  If both people are supposedly still so hung up on each other to this day that they would secretly and publicly call each other "first loves" why don't they just be together so they don't hurt other people they're with.  In the end, I don't believe in this "first love" business.  What's important is the last love and who you end up with.  Sometimes it could be your first love who you end up with but that's rare.
  • Keeping__Karma@xanga

    First love definitely exists.
  • singing2mytune91@xanga

    I firmly believe in the existence of numerous loves. At any given point in your life, there's someone that could be your love. You don't choose who you love, it's either there or it isn't. However, there is only one true love, and that is the one that you choose for life. There's a difference between the two because when you find your true love, the person that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with, you make a conscious decision to do so. Love is chemical, emotional, fate, whatever. True love is a choice. 
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