Sunday, 02 October 2011
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And Then... There Was Space.
When my boyfriend of a year and a half and I started dating, it wasn't that easy. Being that my parents didn't want me to have a boyfriend and tried their best to prevent it (even though I was 18 at the time and they had told me I could start dating when I was 16). That being the case, it was six months before we could actually see each other outside of the place we work together. It had all of that excitement of hanging out for hours after we were off of work in the parking lot, and the two or three times of sneaking around to see each other. But being apart more than being together was harder than I thought it'd be.
Last March, I moved out of my parents house in order to live closer to college. It goes without saying that my boyfriend and I have spent pretty much every second we could together during the time that I've been moved out. And we've gotten completely used to being together most every night. He's moved twice since last March. But whether he was still in his and his best friend's apartment, or with his step-sister, we still could see each other freely. A few weeks ago that changed.
He had been talking about how he was saving money to find a place of his own. And he was doing well about saving and spending. But his aunt texted him one night at work, and say that she has offered to let him live with her, his uncle, and their two kids. And that he would be able to work with his uncle (whom he's worked with before) when he wasn't working at the place we work now for $14.00 an hour. So he took her up on it.
Now there's space. And I'm not sure what to do with it. I'm not allowed to stay nights with him anymore, and honestly I'm tired of going to other people's houses to see him. He could come here where I'm staying, but that won't happen that often. I miss him so much, and even though it's only been like a week since he moved in with her, I can't stand sleeping alone, and I've been quite pathetic. I know that I'll eventually get used to the idea...and who knows, maybe he'll actually come through and find a place of his own.
Any advice on how to make this easier?
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- From: ashley_wth@xanga
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- About Me: My name is Ashley. I'm addicted to blog sites and social networking. I'm a photographer, and currently attending college in pursuit of a Commercial Photography degree. Welcome to my world.
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Comments (21)
Learn to treasure having more time and space to yourself. But more importantly, learn to cherish every moment that you get to have with him.
Why can't he come to see you? I've had two boyfriends that would never drive to see me (the last one was a half hour drive away) because their gas money was more important to them. If that's it, I'd question his priorities.
But I don't think it's a bad idea for him to do what he's doing- living on your own is really expensive, especially in this economy. And this could be good for you both- when you can't see each other all the time, you're less likely to take each other for granted, and relationships always do better when you appreciate each other.Aww, that really sucks :/ It's super depressing to go from constantly seeing each other to next to never. Just hang in there...tell him you miss him...and try & write out some sort of schedule together so you have an idea of when you'll see him. I'm really organizey & anal so that's what I'd do.
it'll maybe take a few weeks to break out of the habit of always seeing him, so not much to do except gradually adapt to this new distance change
I used to often text and have an urge to want to talk to my guy all day, but after about a month of being apart, I got used to it, and sometimes I even forgot about him:P we actually use the old fashioned email
and email each other notes because we don't want to bug each other when we're at work. then talk later when we have spare time.
I totally know what you mean! I spent most of college hanging out with my boyfriend and seeing as we both lived on campus we could go over to each other's places as much as we wanted but now that we've graduated and I have work 5 days a week and he goes to grad school I would be lucky to see him once every few weeks! (we live in the same town but both of us are too busy to hang out weekly) I would focus on some other things, like hanging out with friends or other hobbies to take your mind off of it. Having alone time is good for you too and like someone else said, hang in there and you can do it :)!
When I read the title, all I could think about was this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcs4klrjlwE
Uh, why can't he come see you?
Also... you are both adults. I'm not sure I understand why you can't spend the night with him at his place, unless his Aunt thinks that allowing you to stay the night would be a bad influence on her kids? Either way, he need to start making more of an effort to see you/be with you. Maybe designate 2 nights a week as date/being together night. You don't have to go out and do anything, you can stay in and watch a movie, but at least one night a week were it is just you two. That saved my sanity and my relationship in my last relationship when I lived 40 minutes away from him.
you're young...take it slow and even though the times you have together is short and few, make the most of it. relationships are hard and it takes a lot of work but you and your bf will get it right one day.
o_o i dunno... i have never dated a guy and seen him everyday to begin with... =/ not that i minded lol. im a busy girl! i say go with the first comment. its good advice!
I know how you feel. I went from hanging out with my bf almost practically every day, too during the summer. Even when he moved a couple of hours away, we still saw each other almost fairly but both of us have had to cut back on visits due to recent events not necessarily because of our parents but other factors. We still talk here and there, to try to make it work. I don't know when I'm going to see him again or when he's coming home for a visit, either. I try to stay busy so I don't think about it too much.
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....I've been in a LDR with my boyfriend for almost 10 months, and we only actually see each other once every 4 months. So I know how you feel. :\ best advice I can give is just stick with it, things will get easier eventually.
If you were me, I'd find someone else. But Jenn has a good idea too, because I know you're not me, and you want to keep him :) Try the schedule thing. It might work out better than you think!
You two may have an unhealthy attachment to each other. He's your bf not your life, you need to get other things in your life, other relationships other hobbies etc to enjoy apart from him. His presence should not determine your happiness.
girl it's just something you'll get more used to with time
girl it's just something you'll get more used to with time
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