Saturday, 01 October 2011
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Exes and the Rumors They Spread to Destroy Your Reputation
"I heard this really nasty rumor about your boyfriend.""What was it?"
"That he raped his ex."
"That's disgusting. He would never do that. He wouldn't kill a fly unless it was bothering someone else in the room."This was one of the rumors Z. spread about my boyfriend for the sake of "gaining power" over him. When we were all in college, she admitted she made it up just to make him feel bad for the sake of doing it--she didn't think he needed to feel guilty about anything, but wanted to make him a black sheep at school to know that someone was "suffering as much as she was," if not worse.
Most people who knew both her and my boyfriend did not believe her, but people who only knew her were so convinced that I was dating a rapist. It sickened him and hurt him to know someone he cared for and was intimate with for two years would try to ruin his reputation using one of the most degrading acts possible.
She admitted to constantly pressuring him into having sex with her (lest she have a breakdown which was never easy to deal with in the aftermath) and she herself felt guilty but could not admit that after the fact, so she placed the blame on someone else. After she came clean to everyone about starting this rumor, she had little respect from people who knew her at the time because of the nature of how she started it.
Be honest: have you ever started a deprecating rumor about an ex?
Ever have an awful rumor about yourself get back to you?
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About the Author
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- From: dangelb
- About Me: My name means "daybreak" and I'm usually awake to watch the sunrise every morning. I'm a college student, obsessive tea drinker, and contemporary dancer. My first love was the piano before I learned how to love people. I love my R.O.B.--Really Outstanding Boyfriend--who gets just as excited as I do over antique books, soft-baked cookies, and Sporcle.
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Comments (47)
I've never told stories about my ex's to people after we break up.
And some have gotten back to me.
Wow that's terrible. I would never do that, no matter how bad they treated me. Some people really lack good character...
I would never make up shit about an ex. If he truly did something horrible, yeah I'd probably talk about it, but I would never, NEVER make something up.
One of my guy friends had this happen to him... This girl made up all kinds of shit about him... She said he'd force her to have sex with him, that he was an alcoholic, and all this other bullcrap that was never true at all. People who make up shit about other people are just awful; but it's a good sign that you did the right thing to leave that relationship!
O_O that is just cruel. im glad she told the truth in the end. in all honesty, i have never spread a rumor about an ex. no matter if the guy broke my heart, what kinda person does that??? @_@ no rumors about me were spread that i can recall either. i only had a boyfriend once in which he and i shared friends. once. lol. once was enough to have me thinking that i should have my own friends and he his, when taking consideration the men i date. it was that ex i told you about that burned my painting in a bonfire with said friends lol. but nope, i have never been so bitter that i could stoop that low to get back to a person. ridiculous!
A guy that an ex was hooking up with tried to spread rumors about her to me, saying that she slept with 7+ guys when I only she's only been with 3 (since we kept in close contact with each). The reason he did that was because he was cheating on his girlfriend with her and decided to go back to his girlfriend after telling my ex he was going to be with her. So my ex felt she needed to tell his girlfriend about it. In retaliation, he tried to ruin her reputation. I then rebutted and, from my ex's words, made him cry and was still crying when he called her.
What I have written about my recent on here (the crazy one) actually happened. I use them as examples of what not to do when you're in a relationship. I don't tell rumors simply because it's childish.
no, I speak the truth. however, I often don't give an ex the time of day anymore afterwards, so continuing to talk about him is a waste of time as he no longer exists to me. I'd rather spend my energy on swooning over my present guy.
and no.
i've never been the one to go so low to spread a rumor about an ex but i know for sure that an ex went around and spread a nasty rumor about me and when i got to me, i confronted him and even though he denied the rumors, i knew for sure that it was him bc only he would do such a thing. the funny thing is that he broke up with me so i don't understand why he spread the rumor.
People have spread rumors about me saying I get around. I've even had a couple of people come up to me and say this one girl was saying I supposedly got with so many people. They asked her how many people have I gotten with and she couldn't give them an exact number, lmao. The way I see it, anyone who would believe any nasty rumors about me aren't people I give a shit about anyway so they can believe what they want. Only my true friends know what's true about me because I tell them everything and they tell me everything about themselves.
As for my exes, no I don't spread rumors about them. I don't even talk about them after we break up. I'm not a psycho ex.
I have never spread rumors about my exes after we broke up, but unfortunately my ex-husband did after we got a divorce and the sad part is, the rumors that he spread about me was the exact thing that caused us to break up except.. he did it. Wow.
I don't spread rumors. I'd tell my closest friends about things that actually happened, but I wouldn't spread rumors. I'm not crazy like that. I know people it's happened to, though, and it's just not cool. Why would someone do that??
(2) I did NOT spread a rumor but told his new female interest the TRUTH about his lying ass...and she didn't believe me because she assumed I was lying out of jealous...then she got burned by the pathological liar, too. You can checkout that blog post in "Karma's A Bitch, Bitch" at www.JenAndMen.com.
http://jenandmen.com/?p=642
I didn't have to make that up. Because he actually did it.
If a guy hurt me bad enough, like if he cheated or something then I can't deny that I might spread a nasty rumor about him. Karma's a bitch.
I never spread rumors.. The truth, yes ;)
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My current boyfriend told me that his friend said "Watch her, she cheated on her ex with his best friend." Didn't happen that way at all. I was extremely gullible and his friend "tricked" me into seeing him, after we had been broken up for a month, but we didn't have sex. Luckily, my boyfriend believes me.
I don't spread rumors. Rumors are terrible, false images you spread about something or someone. But one thing I have been doing with my ex, the one that hurt me the most, is just telling the people who ask me the truth that I never told while we were together. The kinds of things that happened "behind closed doors" that finally made me leave. I've wondered for a while if it is wrong to do, because I suppose it is a type of slander, but when I finally realized "The only wrong Ive ever done to him is tell the truth about him." I still can't decide if it is okay or not.
I've never done anything like that. I did have an ex try to spread vicious lies about me. I suppose her family and friends believed whatever she said, but anyone who really knew me didn't buy it, unless you count my stupid little brother.
I don't do that anymore. It's childish, rude, and proves you're still fixated on that person.
yup, those suck.
What's worse than an ex destroying your rep is when they destroy your good credit :/
I've had rumors spread about me by an ex when we were still together. That shit sucks...
I've never spread rumors, but apparently my ex boyfriend did. I trusted him a lot for some reason so I told him some personal things and he told all his friends...but everything he said had something extra tacked on to it. I didn't find out until two years later when I had already gotten over the relationship. It sucks because I'm almost certain he spread those rumors while we were together.
I've never told a rumor or untrue story about my ex. The door did not swing both ways.