Wednesday, 28 September 2011
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Nice Girls vs Bitchy Girls
So why does it seem that nice girls are pushed aside for the bitchy girls? I am a very nice, kind, giving person who has lost out numerous times to bitchy, nasty, alcoholic females. Men claim they can't stand bitchy women yet when it comes down to it, they always end up with those. They claim they want a girl that listens, understands and doesn't give them static on everything.
You try to give them space and be understanding but in the end they go for the bitchy one that treats them like crap! I will never understand that. I was with a guy for a while and he dumped me for some younger model that is chock full of issues like unemployed, chain smoker and an alcoholic. Well if that was what he wanted, more power to him!
I proceeded to totally ignore him, his texts and emails and now it's like he can't stay away. It's like the more I treat him like crap, the more he comes around.
Can someone explain to me why the bad win over the good?
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- From: Rediscoverme@xanga
- Name: Rediscoverme
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Comments (72)
I like nice girls and am not just saying that. When a girl is a bitch it is the biggest turn-off imaginable. It turns me on when a girl is kind, affectionate, loving, cute, and sweet and puts as much into it as me, short-term and long-term. Short term it makes me want to jump them, long term I can actually see myself with them.
But this is usually a massive gray area. People usually aren't always a "nice girl" or "nice guy", there's a lot more to it unless you're just talking about skank-ass trash, which most men do not like AT ALL unless they are complete trash as well.
People never tend to end up with who/what they consider the perfect mate. Just like how some guys pick bitchy girls, same goes for girls with guys who are jerks. Love 'em at their worst and love 'em at their best. Can't really explain it, shit just happens.
@Tee - Maybe, but especially on the female side, I've found that guys actually prefer nice girls.
They'd wanna fuck a bitchy girl but marry a nice girl...
I like a girl who's there for me whenever I need her, but I need someone to rely on in my relationships, not everyone is looking for that. I like having a true friend as well as lover who's there for me through thick-n-thin.
Well I don't know how old you are but if your in high school, college, or below the age of 25 (maybe 28) then this statement applies,
"Boys troll for ass, men look for class"
Thus I suspect your SO still has a lot of growing up to do.
That being said though, "nice" can sometimes come across as submissive or the woman appears as if she's insecure and trying to please the man so he won't leave.
Personally speaking, I would love to have a kind and compassionate woman. Above all though I want a woman who is confident. A woman that actively plans out and pursues her goals and dreams, passionate, driven, etc. I don't have the time or patience to deal with a child who needs to me to immediately reply to every text message she sends or "like" every facebook status she posts.
I would suggest though, instead of finding fault with him or the woman he's pursuing, try looking at yourself. What happened in the relationship? What changed? Did you change? It's a two way street so this isn't entirely his fault.
You can be a bitch and still be civil. I think guys tend to go for these kinds of women because they're comfortable with themselves, outspoken, and not afraid to put a guy in his place- which in my opinion is how a lot of women these days should be acting. But even if you're confident, it might be hard to tell if you can't make it visible in how you carry yourself. For example, the supposed "bad girl" is probably upfront about her feelings and that confidence is attractive. Passivity just gets annoying and leaves him hanging.
To me, what you're describing isn't really a bitch, just trash, seeing as being bitchy has nothing to do with someone having drug, financial, and alcohol issues.
It could just be the guy too. Everyone like different traits... maybe he just likes chain smokers with no income.
the guys that I've known like the sweet/nice and innocent looking girl-me as an example
but they like the sinful side of her-being naughty in bed
so a lady in the streets but a freak in bed. they don't like prudes or conventional sex, so spicy and feisty "nice girls" if you get my drift
@seedman - True, I am not always a "nice girl" as everyone has moments but I am very confident in myself and like to show that I care.
I was the "good girl" for the most part but was also the "freak in the sheets" so I have decided that it is his loss, not mine!!
I guess the nice girls finish last along with the nice guys....
From my observations of my guy friends, they will date a whole slew of bitches but it's the nice girl they finally settle down with and treat the best.
Read this and figure out what you need to do: http://laytexduckie.xanga.com/755342245/putting-an-end-to-the-nice-guygirl-debate/
My recent ex treated me horribly (and by treated, I mean abused). That relationship only last 10 months when I finally just had enough and left. My other two relationships before that one lasted 3 years 4 months and then 11 months. Those two girls were the ones I wanted to be with the rest of my life because by treating them so well, they treated me really well. Trust me: no guys wants to end up with a bitch.
there are two books on this 1)Why Men Love Bitches and 2) Why Men Marry Bitches... I plan on reading both, just for fun...
I can be a bit of both- bitchy and sweet. It seems to work. Or maybe men just don't understand when I'm being a bitch...
Having a lot of attention is a huge turn on for me. I love it when it when they text me and call me all the time.
In the end they won't settle down with the bitchy girl with all the problems though. Some girls confuse confidence with bitchyness when they're not the same at all. A bitch is the total opposite of confident which is why they treat others like shit in the first place. Perhaps the guys that you're looking at are not mature enough nor are they looking for a woman who is actually going to be a good partner to them yet.
@x_colormepretty_x@xanga - i was thinking of the "nice guys finish last" belief, too. maybe they should hook up with each other! ;)
I'm so unbitchy I kind of hate that about myself. It's because I'm insecure. However, lately I've been, what I'd consider, a total bitch to my boyfriend. He deserves it though. And I have him in the palm of my hands.. I think, lol.
I dunno, I'm kind understanding and giving and I still seem to get a lot of male attention. Not that I would ever ask for it as I've had a man for almost 8 years now. I do drink and I'd say I was spontaneous and fun though, sometimes there can be too much sugar, a bit of spice is good and I'm not talking about "slutting it up".
You could just be going for the wrong type of men. I've really no idea.@HollowTendencies@xanga - Die.
I like a girl who lavishes me with attention in every way they can. I want them to show me how they feel about me.
@Anonymous - Geez what'd I do?
you may think the girls you call bitchy are bitchy but guys don't see it that way. it's all about confidence and knowing what you want and how to get it. some girls just know and they get what they want. it may come off as they're bitchy but they aren't.
I think a lot of men want a woman who keeps things interesting. There's nothing wrong with being kind and giving. Just don't lose yourself while you're at it, and remember your needs are just as important as his, and act as if they are. And you can definitely keep things interesting without being bitchy.
you probably do not get hit on as often as other girls not because you are a "nice" girl no one seems to notice, but because you are one dimensional in thinking people can be boxed into mutually exclusive categories of "bad" and "good"
@wing_stock@xanga - This post reminded me of this datingish post: http://www.datingish.com/755310095/arrogant-guys-vs-nice-guys/
the fine line between confident and bitchy --> sometimes those 2 term blend together.
Guys like girls who are confident - cause confident = sexy
Sexy girls can be bitchy because they know how to work their assets / personalities and still get what they want