Wednesday, 28 September 2011
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Just When You Thought My Self-Esteem Couldn't Possibly Get Any Higher...
Hello, Datingish. I'm baaack. Miss me? That's a silly question, of course you missed me. I've decided to post this blog here because there's no way I can put this up on www.JenAndMen.com, considering the guys I'm about to discuss know about my website.
About a month ago, my boyfriend and I decided to split up. It goes without saying how heartbroken and devastated this made me. After many tears, seeing a fling that flung, and going on two horrifyingly bad dates, I decided to have a little fun (while doing some research), and joined an online dating site.
I physically couldn't believe how many responses I received within the first twenty minutes of signing up and filling out my profile. Do people just sit on their computers and look around for people to chat with? I kind of thought I would get three or four messages a day. Wrong.
45 messages the first day. 30 the second. After one week I was up to 600 messages -- six hundred. I was called "beautiful," "gorgeous," "sexy," "stunning," "hot," "cute," and "adorable" on a daily basis, on an hourly basis. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing I have been feeling about myself ever since I joined this site. I haven't felt this good since joining Datingish!
At one point I think I had 2.5 solid weeks of dates. It got to the point where I had to (on two separate occasions) schedule two dates in one day...simply because there just weren't enough hours in the day! (Of course I made sure to give my parents their full name and phone number and meet all of them in public restaurants where there were a lot of people. I like to be taken on dates but I'm not stupid.)
One guy, Mike, asked to take me out to dinner after speaking through messages, texts, and then on the phone. It was a Wednesday. "Sure, I said. Sounds like fun. I'm free a week from Tuesday," I said, thumbing through my iPhone calendar.
"Funny," Mike said, laughing.
"No, I'm serious," I said, feeling kind of bad.
"Whattt?! Geez, I feel like I'm making a doctor's appointment trying to take you out! Should I bring blood work with me, too?"
"Haha, yeah, sorry, I'm just so busy lately. And the blood work won't work because blood makes me weak in the knees," I said, laughing.
"Okay, I'll leave it home then, and meet you solo," he said, clearly disappointed that he had to wait so long to finally meet me in person.
I felt bad, but what are you gonna do? I had another 19 guys who were just as eager/disappointed. Again, there is only so much free time in my day. I do have grad school and an internship and a website to write for, ya know!
Anyway, I'd now like to take a moment to shy away from the nice guys and discuss the freaks. I have already had to block three guys. Girls get the reputation for being clingy and annoying. How about I was yelled at by several different guys because I "took too long to respond." Like, really, dude?
Do people really think that sending annoying and clingy messages will make a person like them?
You know when you're allowed to be clingy? When you're dating for four years and your boyfriend hasn't answered your calls or texts for the past 8 hours while out with his friends. THAT'S when it perfectly acceptable to bitch him out over his voicemail or through text. Not after 8 minutes of Internet chatting. You've already lost points in my head for being on a dating website, now you're going to have the nerve to annoy me on a dating website? Ugh, go away!
For those of you that are 18+, have you tried online dating? Any crazy stories?
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About the Author
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- From: Jenn
- About Me: I have been on more bad dates than I have fingers and toes to count on -- and I'm only in my early twenties! I laugh when I watch 'Sex & the City,' because I've had so many dysfunctional relationships that they might as well as made me their 5th friend. Even so, I used to love going on dates with different guys (now I only let one guy take me out on dates), eating great food, and talking on the phone until 3AM. I never did get over the idea that a guy should treat a girl like a princess -- even if I've encountered one too many frogs.
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Comments (75)
LoL welcome back.
Yeah we all knew you'd be back! I didn't see the point of you writing "farewell" because we knew that wouldn't last. You need datingish as your crutch again because barely anyone has been commenting on your own blog, lol.
Well, it's better than having anti-aborition writers up here...so yeah...
You know, when I was single for 3 months (between semesters for a season) and before I met my current fiance, I joined an online dating site for the sheer chance of it. Yes, you're not the only one that received 45 msgs in course of 20 minutes of signing up.
The guy vs girl ratio on ANY dating websites, it's often 10 to 1. So it's not surprising that ANY new members that signed on within the day is going to get a lot of messages. Also, if they can see how many guys (or girls) have checked out your profile or messaged you within 24 hrs, and noticed that it's ALOT, they'd just write you something to see what's so amazing about you. Yes, there are crazy, pervy guys too... I used to weed them out if their messages sound as though they copied & pasted with something else or someone else's msg OR if they used sTuPiD tYpiNg sKiLLs lIkE thIs bEcAuSe they're clearly too young, too something else for me to deal with or can't spell check to save their balls. Anyway, Mike kind of sound weird; not all doctor's appointments require blood work, generally, you can't take it out in its baggie form anyway, when you get your work done, they give you a print out that has nothing to do with blood in appearance. Have fun! You'll get tired of it soon enough because a pattern will emerge. Just don't get hooked on the constant praise and compliments...you're another face in the crowd of other girls they're trying to "hook up".
Actually no it is not acceptable to bitch at your significant other of 4 years because you haven't spoken to him in 8 hours when he's been with his friends. At that point in a relationship, you should be comfortable enough to both develop space and accept that you still have separate lives and sometimes it's nice to have a day off without communication or text messages every hour. Also, it's unfair of you that people "lose points" just because they're on a dating site, because what does that say about you?
Nice to see you back Jenn.
Online dating seems to be a different experience for men and women. From what I heard, all the women who are at least moderately attractive will have their inboxes flooded with messages from desperate guys. Guys have to do a little more work if they want that sort of attention from women on an online dating site. I personally haven't had much luck with it, probably because I only use OkCupid and my pictures are kind of random; not the type that shout "VIEW MY PROFILE!". It's a skill one must develop on top of being good at attracting women in general. I plan on watching David DeAngelo's seminar on online dating in the near future.
Coming back to fish for the hate comments again? Not surprised. I knew you couldn't make it out there by yourself. As for answering the question to your post, yes I have dated online before.
Come to think of it, I do have one crazy story.
I used to use the site hotornot.com just for kicks. My friend and I didn't need online dating services, but we were just seeing what would the outcomes be.
One time, I saw this guy's picture and he was really really hott. I mean jaw dropping gorgeous. So we got to talking and he wanted to meet me the same night he started talking to me. Now I thought this was moving way too fast. He wasn't letting up on meeting me and insisted that we should meet because he said he lived about a half hour away from me. I didn't want to meet him just yet. I had barely started talking to him not even for a day. I told my friend this and she thought he was being a little too strong as well. I didn't end up meeting him, glad I didn't.
Another guy I talked to online, this wasn't a crazy online story, actually normal...we didn't meet until we talked for at least two weeks. Just your average relationship story running its course.
i actually joined POF a couple weeks ago i know what ur talkin about--- i was online for 10 mins and the responses i got in that time were crazy! overwelmed i put my profile on private until i was ready! lol. so fun
but i prefer in person better and honestly ive been meeting more that way but am down for any way since of course the match is what we're all after!
Oh it's Jenn again. Awesome. Dating websites are only good for casual sex or people looking for bland, mutually arranged relationships. Finding a passionate connection on a dating website just doesn't happen unless you're really into World of Warcraft.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - you're a tool
@Anonymous - He's not a tool. He only wants to think he's one, lmao. He's written countless posts about how he doesn't get the girl and he even went so far as to write a post listing 10 reasons why he'll be single for the rest of his life, lol.
....
:l
thats my face right now.
It's always a good idea to derive your self-esteem directly from people you meet at an online dating site.
Lol you shouldn't feel flattered...those losers will greet every new female who joins, with a bunch of lame compliments. I'm sure you're just one of many to those guys
@Shims - Talking to yourself again, 'tard?
datingish, just because you've had slim pickings for posts lately doesn't mean you have resort to this girl's shameless self-promotion.
I did some online dating when my boyfriend and I broke up. Some of it was just plain awful. Guys lied about their height quite often haha. I'm still friends with some of the guys though. Some of them were super awesome, but we didn't connect on that level and were able to maintain a friend relationship.
I knew this was going to be you when I read the title, but I kind of missed your writing.
You love talking about yourself, don't you? Ugh. I didn't miss you.
Any girl who uses dating websites as anything more than a funny novelty loses points in my book. It's just not like the real thing.
I take it you're suffering from a lack of attention?
"You've already lost points in my head for being on a dating website, now you're going to have the nerve to annoy me on a dating website?"
....coming from a person who's writing about using a dating website.
Right.
Also...why all of the hate for dating websites from everyone these days?
@Anonymous and @guest - agreed. there's nothing like the real thing. it's interesting from an outsider's perspective but girls who use it to actually try to find someone are usually quite desperate.
haaaaahahaha yay. I missed the amusement of Jenn posts
@enoughtodiefor@xanga - Don't get too ahead of yourself. Most people are over her egotistical drama. I can already see people not giving a shit that she's back. Usually her posts would be at 100+ comments already. Wonder why it's only your average 20ish comments, lol.
@Anonymous - ~_^ o...k? I didn't say anything about other people, I was speaking for me.
@guest - Don't forget guys will use them as more than a fun novelty, too. What about them?
@Anonymous - Them, too.