Tuesday, 27 September 2011
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The Crazies in Dating
A recent post got me thinking about crazy girlfriends.
Back in 2008 I dated "The Butcher" (he is an actual butcher so that was my nickname for him with my friends haha). He and I dated for nearly a year. I ended up breaking up with him, basically because I felt he wasn't the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my days with. He was REALLY quiet and never ever spoke up or gave his opinion. For some people, this is a great quality to have in a partner but to me... not so much. I like a man who has opinions and can converse with me naturally.
Anyway, earlier this year I decided it was a great time to be friends so I added him on Facebook (that's what people do nowadays!). Although, during the years we would casually text to see how one another was doing and that was just fine and dandy. I had boyfriends, he had girlfriends... it was nothing. Innocent 100%!
So naturally on Facebook you see updates and naturally you want to reply to some. I noticed that when I replied to his posts every once in a while, that his girlfriend would immediately reply for him.
I thought that was a little weird but whatever. Then one day he posted something about cleaning around his house and who was down to help him. I commented that he could clean my room while he was at it. This time his girlfriend replied saying to clean my own damn room. Even though other people commented for him to clean their home, she attacked me personally.
I was confused a bit... it's not like I said, "Hey come over and have sex with me in my room." I replied back saying that he cleans better than I do and she flipped out saying and I quote, "Back the f*ck off, you have some nerve!" Maybe it was wrong of me to push to see if she indeed did have such an issue with me. I texted him asking him what the hell was wrong with his girlfriend.Then I asked if she knew he and I had dated. He informed me that indeed she knew (she had asked him after wondering who this Shirley was) and that he was sorry for her being so rude to me. He told me that she was extremely jealous. Then said to just be careful in what I decided to post on his wall. I had told him that he could delete me if having me as a friend on there was causing them problems but he insisted that there was no need.
A while later I commented on a post saying he was going to have surgery and lo and behold, she has to answer me... rude at that! I wondered why I even bothered asking on there instead of just texting him! So I asked him and he explained to me what surgery and apologized again for her and that he was going in surgery then.
I never got a reply back after that and next thing you know I was DELETED AND BLOCKED from his page.
There is no doubt in my mind that his girlfriend, DURING HIS SURGERY, went into his account and deleted and blocked me! Like some crazy psycho girlfriend! I was shocked that she really is that insecure and crazy. That she was checking his Facebook constantly replying to everyone for him. WACKO.
I decided that it was best not text him this time about his girlfriend (despite my huge urge to tell him to run while he could). I'm sure he figured out what she did and him being so quiet, most likely let her get away with such insane behavior. Last thing I want is to be stalked by this woman; so losing a "friendship" is fine with me. I can just see her hiding in my bushes with a knife trying to take the "competition" away. I wish I was exaggerating!
This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. One of my boyfriend's best friends liked a girl we all knew and I tried my best to set them up. When she finally said yes to him... next thing you know I was her enemy. She hated him being my friend and told him he couldn't see me anymore. She didn't like he and I hanging out alone. She didn't like that we got along so well. She didn't care that I had a boyfriend and that her boyfriend and my boyfriend were best friends. She thought I, the girl that set them up, wanted him!
Sad to say those aren't the only two incidences of crazy girlfriends hating on the Shirls. I would understand if I was known to get around and sleep with/ steal everyone's boyfriends but that sure as balls isn't what anyone would describe me to be. I've never stole a man from another woman and never intended or wanted to.
But that's crazy girlfriends and boyfriends at that, for you.
What are your experiences with people like this? Have you been this person?
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- From: ShirleyD@xanga
- Name: Shirley
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Comments (36)
I wish there was an emoticon that matched my facial expression...
I have never personally experienced anything, but I know some girls that make me never want a pet rabbit.
I dated one. She try to forbid me to hang out with any friends that were girls (even though she would hang out with her guy friends). It's all history now and am glad I got out of it. It just wasn't healthy.
OOoohh, so you know what I'm talking about with the crazy psycho ex girlfriends spreading rumors about me since you've semi lived through it dealing with a psycho ex yet you have the nerve to bash me for my views. I don't pity you. You've dealt with gossip yet you have the nerve to bash me when I share my psycho ex stories. Sure that ex of your ex was nasty, but did she go around the entire city spreading rumors about you? Doubt it.
The girl you talk about is not as crazy as the psycho I had to deal with. This psycho would friend every girl her ex she is infatuated with he's ever hooked up with. She thinks she can comment on my life but boy does she has a history herself...as you know what that entails.
What does that make you now for publishing a psycho ex story? Ha. Ha. and some of you thought you could bash me for writing my stories of what I've had to deal with.
I don't see why she was stuck on her ex though...just because they were each other's firsts in everything doesn't isn't a good enough reason. When I found out that he was talking intimately about me to her and he looves when women fight over him, I quickly dropped him. I don't need a "friend" like that. It's amazing how she's still stuck on him even though they dated in high school and a little bit of freshman year in college.
Wow that is pretty dang crazy...that is definetly to the extreme. I wonder what was going on in their relationship for her to be like that. I'm not even that crazy! lol. I would never be that rude to someone unless of course it was the ex I posted about...but then she deserved the rudeness.
Bitches be crazy.
Okay, in all seriousness, I've never been in this kind of craziness. Stalkers, sure, everyone's had to call the police on someone at least once... But this weird passive-aggressive stalking? Nope.
So I'm just here to be supportive. Good luck!
Eh, I don't blame her for being super suspicious of you. If my boyfriend had an ex that kept making a point to be all "friendly" and commenting on his statuses all the time, I would definitely assume she was trying to flirt. It's just natural instinct for some people.
Although it is wrong of her to go on his account all the time, basically taking over his page. I have a friend that used to do that to their boyfriend because they were controlling and felt the need to know every move the boy was doing. Not cool
@hsss - Shimmers, can't you just stfu for once and stop making every. single. thing about you? Good lord.
to hsss, my phone won't let me directly reply to you.... apparently it isnt in the android options. anyway, you will have to remind me what you're talking about because i have no idea what you're talking about. direct link maybe.
One of my close friends currently falls under the "crazy girlfriend" status, however I can see why she would feel so insecure. The "other girl" leaves messages that can be misconstrued as flirtatious (smiley winky faces, exaggerated words like 'let's hang out tomorroooww!') I'm not saying that you do these things, but maybe that could be a reason why your ex's gf is upset? Obviously, if you don't do any of these things and just talk to him normally like you would to your brother, then she's a crazy bitch. :)
my husband has a friend who is like the girl friend you described. She is nuts, and she thinks she is his best friend ever. Anytime he posts something on FB, she comments. And heaven forbid me (his WIFE) should contradict her. Its gotten to the point where he has deleted her, and blocked her. But then she came after me. Thank God he never gave her his cell number.
I'm not that bad, but me and my boyfriend have an understanding to keep our exes out of our lives for good, mainly because they always tried getting back with us, and partially cause their crazy themselves. But if he was talking to an ex i'd be pissed just like he would if i was. Their our past, so if we didn't remain good friends with them, why should we bother talking to them again especially being with someone new? Also, if we when me and boyfriend met, weren't friends with the opposite sex at the time, we definitely see no point in becoming friends with the opposite sex while already deep into our relationship, that's just grounds for something bad. That's us, we have an understanding and it works.
@hsss - Oh, for fuck's sake. Give it a rest!
It's a shame that you lost a friendship due to an insecure and jealous gf of his, but he if can't stand up for your friendship, he probably wasn't worth it as a friend, anyways. I just hate people like that who has to "always" log in and reply for their significant others' Facebook. I mean, get your own Facebook. It's free and 'always will be." Lol. Smh.
"You can come and clean my room for me" probably didn't seem at all suggestive to you...but I could see how it could seem suggestive to her, since you're his ex.
Although I don't agree with these crazy gf's, I think if you knew it was bugging her, then you shouldn't have been commenting. Unecessary drama.
just let it go, you guys broke up and you're both at different stages of your life. there will always be crazy people in anyone's life.
hmm now i know why i was blocked mysteriously from my exes fb and when i confronted him about it he had no idea .. LOL
@LoveeLikeASunset@xanga - No flirtation at all. Out of the say... 7 months I was his friend on there, I commented less than 5 times, if that. I think it was liking a link that I did most which would have been less than 10 times. Lol. If that is considered ALL the time then I guess I am to blame.
@weirdgirl017@xanga - After that first incident where she flipped out at me about the cleaning comment, I didn't comment or like anything of his after that until weeks later when I saw that surgery thing. Though I did do that whole "doh!" thing where I was like ughhhh I should've just texted him because she is going to misconstrue anything I say. Though it seems she had access to his texts while he was in surgery because I am thinking that is what got her to delete me. I wouldn't be surprised if she made him change his number after that lol. I haven't texted him though for that exact reason you stated though, to avoid DRAMA!
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - That's creepy! Lol. There truly are some crazy obsessive people out there. I blocked his girlfriend from my site for sure after that. I'm glad your husband said goodbye to that craziness.
@foolishmistakeZ@xanga - Lol yeah that probably is why.
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Well, if you knew the gf was def. not comfortable with you, then why didn't you just back off after you saw how she reacted? Yet what did you do..? You went to the bf about it. You should have stopped with him from there on, no matter how "friendly"you were. Just some respect for another even if they seem out of it.
if women are always thinking you're after their man, or they constantly have a problem with you there is definitly a reason for it. It could be one of three things for example 1. You're just too flirtacious (and you dont even realize it), 2. You dress eh...revealingly...this can peeve women off when it comes to their man, or 3. You are really beautiful or hot and the women are jealous of you.
@maybmaybnot@xanga - It's happened quite a lot. This is the first time it had anything to do with an ex. Normally I don't befriend exes EVER. Lol. The other times however have been my best friends, guy friends. Which I guess to most women, there has to be something wrong with a woman if her only closest friends are guys.
I know it isn't 1 because I act like a "dude" with my guy friends, burb and everything *for shame, I know!!*. 2. I am covered up like... all the time. Lol. Sad but true!!! Mostly because for work I have to hide my tattoos and end up looking all nunly when going out after. About 3, I'm the first one to blush whenever I get complimented so I don't know how to judge that one. I'm too shy about my looks. 
But I will give credit to your suggestions. I'll just have them judge which one it is.
Honestly, I'd probably have a SERIOUSLY strong urge to delete you, but I'd resist. :/ Though, I'd only have this urge because I'm in an emotionally unstable state right now.
Why comment on his things to begin with? Even though he told you having you as a friend on Facebook wasn't an issue you should worry about, it seems as though you exacerbated the issue by continuing the constant communication (Facebook, texting etc) while knowing his girlfriend hated it. I'm sure this caused a lot of tension in their relationship. Something a good friend should avoid. (In my opinion.) I've been in your position before and honestly, I'm siding with the girl.
She made it quite clear you weren't wanted. He didn't care enough to defend you or even re-add you on Facebook. And making the assumption that *she* deleted you is a pretty strong one. For all you know, he wanted the problems and arguments you caused out of his life. Blocking you was the easiest way to do that.
Bottom Line:: You should have just let him go when you noticed you were causing him problems. It's not about crazy girlfriends, it's about you being respectful. There's a reason why he's with her sabes? And he made it quite clear she and their relationship is his priority right now.
@kolipoli@xanga -
I wrote this to share a story. Not to get advice about it because it is a done deal in my book. To most people, the bitch is crazy. Like I said, I told him to feel free to delete me but he insisted on not doing so. That's his bad. I don't feel bad about anything I did, not a bit. But either way, it's done and I only wrote this to share and to get stories about crazies. You got any?