Monday, 26 September 2011
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Arrogant Guys VS Nice Guys
Women constantly say they dislike arrogant guys and prefer sweet, caring, sensitive guys. Based on experience, nothing can be further from the truth. In fact, the exact opposite is true.
So what is a nice guy? A nice guy is a guy who is always generous and polite. He will usually start sentences with "I hope this doesn't offend you" or "If you don't mind." A nice guy will usually talk about safe topics like the weather, college, work, etc. Furthermore, a nice guy will do things for a girl he likes such as buy her gifts all the time, shower her with complements, call her three times per day, and express his love and affection for her even if he hasn't known her for very long.
A nice guy will even go as far as always doing what said girl wants to do if he goes out on a date with her and getting into the stuff she's into just so he can have more common ground. Is this the type of guy women really want? Better yet, is this the type of guy women are ATTRACTED to? Many guys tend to think so when they apply logic to the situation.
They think "If I am nice and I show a lot of affection to a woman and give her a lot of attention, then she will think of me highly and do the same for me." In reality however, when a guy does all these things for a woman, he communicates to her, "I'm a needy wuss who can't take care of himself emotionally so don't expect me to be able to support you emotionally. I'm also quite manipulative as I feel the need to buy your love."
Some women will date nice guys. However, that doesn't mean said women are sexually attracted to them. Some women need nice guys to serve as tools of support and comfort. Yet in the end, these nice guys are usually sentenced to the friend zone for life without parole. In the friend zone, the nice guy will be tortured by becoming the emotional tissue for a woman who will constantly complain that the guy she has decided to go out with is such a jerk and scumbag.
Now let's talk about arrogant guys. An arrogant guy doesn't care what other people, particularly other women, think of him. He's confident in his own beliefs and isn't swayed by what a woman says. A lot of times, he can be a real jerk and full of himself. Like I said in the beginning, women claim that they dislike such a guy. However, many women find themselves attracted to said guy without any reasonable explanation. Such a guy is difficult, hard to control, hard to break, unpredictable, and even somewhat mysterious.
What are your views?
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- From: Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga
- About Me: I have been using Xanga since August 2001 and have seen a lot of changes since then.
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Comments (89)
"Like I said in the beginning, women claim that they dislike such a guy. "
A lot of what women SAY is a bunch of crap. How they ACT, though, is much more enlightening.
I'm not really sure where I lie on the scale of wanting nice guys versus wanting arrogant guys... All I know is that I tend (read: try) to date people worse than me, morally and behaviorally, for some reason. Like the kind of guy that is amazing, except for a couple Big Issues that make you flinch. A Nice Guy with an Arrogant/Destructive Streak. -shrugs-
Yeah, Nice Guys don't tend to be very desirable, in general. They're too much like the girls that need a guy to validate them.
Hah, I saw this and immediately knew it was going to be you.
The arrogant men, though they tend to be pricks and on egotistical power trips, are still more interesting than your average nice guy. They do what they like and they take what they like, as you said, spontaneous and unpredictable.
Of course this is speaking heavily in generalities and there's obviously sub categories and different types. I find that a lot of arrogant men are just as insecure, if not more so, than the nice guys. It's all some pathetic fasad to prove to themselves, and likely mommy and daddy, that they're "Real Men".
Instead of going to either spectrum I just try to stay in the middle, well-balanced. If I go too far in one direction reality or a friend tends to put me in check.
And before people go on a rant, let's all admit for a second that none of us tend to have a clue what we want. So before people get all uppity and freak out that they're being placed into categories, relax.
Maybe you're not as 'nice' as you think you are?
You seem to compare yourself to other guys a lot. Maybe you're not getting any dates because you have extreme insecurities and self-esteem issues. You want to be these type of guys, but that's not you. It's even more of a turn off for women when they can clearly see that's not who you really are.
I think these generalities are a bit too simplistic. I mean, from your description, my boyfriend is much more the nice guy than the arrogant guy, but he's not emotionally needy or weak, or sexually unattractive to me. He is extremely masculine and he has opinions. He just happens to be very much in love with me, and he is respectful and caring.
Women tend to go with the arrogant guy at first because he emits masculinity at very obvious levels, and can take control of situations. However, these guys usually care a ton about what other people say or do to them, and being arrogant is simply a defense mechanism, so these guys in general tend to be more damaged than the nice guy, which is a terribly big turn off.
Sooo I say go with someone who is right for YOU. I happen to be with someone who is very sexy and confident, but is also extremely sweet and loving. I guess I got lucky, but there are many other men who can be that way too. We just need to stop making generalities and just approach each person like an individual.
AHAHAHHA
you can date an arrogant guy. but in the end of the day, some women learn to appreciate a nice guy for the emotional support, their gentle consideration and the fact that they don't need to crush a woman's ego to make her feel insecure and inferior to "work" to keep an arrogant guy. in fact, i've seen women MARRY the nice guy after all the a-holes they've dated.
my fiance is almost an arrogant jackass to all his buddies but to me, he's my goofy, funny, silly, sweet guy. when i tell his buddies that the SO isn't as all that jackassy as they keep telling me he is, and that he's actually very sweet, they think i'm on drugs.
I don't really subscribe to the notion of "nice guys vs. bad boys." There's some cases where some dudes are just genuinely nice and some dudes are just total pieces of shit, but in most cases it comes down to experience in my book.
There
are guys with experience and guys without. Any guy with experience
knows that you don't move heaven and earth for a girl you've just met
and are interested in. It's like playing poker; an experienced player
controls his tells and says fuck all about his actual hand whereas an
inexperienced player will let their emotions and tells run wild which
inadvertently spills his entire hand early and ruins everything. There's
nothing wrong with calling a girl three times a day and telling her you
love her and that she's your everything......after you're already
dating that is.
Stereotypical nice guys in my opinion are mostly
guys without enough dating experience to know what to do. That or they
continue to subscribe to the notion of being a "nice guy" despite the
fact that the real world continually states that this approach rarely
works and is more likely than not to blow up in your face.
And by
nice guys, I mean genuinely nice guys. I don't mean those limp-dicked
two-talking pansies who only act nice because they're trying to backdoor
some girl into giving them some.
Yes maybe at first the arrogant guys win, but in the end, they only make girls appreciate nice guys that much more.
Dude...calm down. I don't know what you're talking about. I have never been attracted to an arrogant guy in my entire life.
Woman like nice men. Why wouldnt you want to be with someone who treats you well? I love my BF because hes a nice guy :)
@xx_x_beautifully_broken_x_xx@xanga - Haha true. I don't know where this dude is getting his "facts" from. The only time I'm attracted to an arrogant guy is if I'm just looking to get laid. I'll look for a relationship with a genuine nice guy.
Women hate more than anything in the world fake guys: those who try to act nice and manipulate girls to get into their pants for one night.
"However, that doesn't mean said women are sexually attracted to them."
^^This is true. My ex thought I was cute, and maybe she was attracted to me at first sexually, but as I got nicer and did all those "nice guy things", she wasn't attracted to me sexually. Only thought I was just cute. This eventually lead us to falling out of love.
From that experience, I think nice guys need to find that balance. It's what another person said, it's like playing poker. You have to show off some arrogance, or at least be able to show that you're not a complete wuss and needy all the time. It's like you have to pick your battles. You can be nice sometimes, but you gotta be able to have mystery, power, and be unpredictable.
Nice guy does NOT have to equal boring and a pushover. What makes someone a "nice guy" is how he treats and respects people. You can respect people and treat them well and not be a wuss/bore. A guy can be nice and still have his own opinions. This subject is more of a gray area.
I don't think generalizations like this help much. Better to examine each trait in turn rather than trying to group them all under the terms 'nice' or 'arrogant'. Humanity is more complex than that.
Spot on. I used to be nice and got treated like shit by girls. Once I decided "Fuck it, it's going to be my way or the bitch can go to hell" all of the sudden girls love me. Despite their bullshit, girls love a guy who's a jerk....makes me wish I'd become a jerk a long time ago.
i am tired of this nice guy bullshit rants. WE GET IT, THEY FINISH LAST. lets post other topics, xanga, C'MON
Here's the thing...There is this nice guy...He's being super sweet and is obviously caring. I think "Hey, why not?" THEN without fail he all of a sudden starts bitching non-stop about how "nice guys finish last" and he "can't ever get a date"....he gets friend zoned right away. He just showed me that he is so desperate for a girl...ANY girl!!! Do I want a desperate loser? Nope. I want a guy who wants ME...not any girl.
But, that being said, I've only ever dated nice guys...and I always broke up with them once their "nice guy" act was over and they showed me who they truly were....and then yep...the bitching started about how "nice guys always get dumped"...they don't seem to know the difference between whiny and nice...
six foot or less? does that determine whether or not you're nice?
Gosh, I thought we were past the labels. There have been so many posts about "nice guys." First of all, "nice" is a pretense. The word we're looking for is "kind." No one really wants nice, anyway, because nice can be faked. Kindness is from the heart. What we want and need is a kind man. Second, it's wrong to assume a man has no more depth than what you've posted here. You may think you're being sarcastic or funny, but I missed it. All I caught was the harshness.
Might be time for some arrogant-nice hybrids...
non threatening genitalia hahahah
according to this list, my boyfriend is totally posing as a nice guy. but without a "fast food body" and nice sneakers hahaha
My ex was under 6 feet and is a whore
it doesn't matter what you say; arrogance is a HUGE turnoff for me. i can't stand egos. i can even give you examples of extremely attractive guys who repeatedly tick me off with their conceitedness.