Scrolling through Facebook as I do every night, I saw the above picture that my friend posted.
Now, at first, I laughed because it's true. Then I got a little sad because it's true. It got me thinking:
Do guys and girls only get close if one is interested in the other? This is the same conversation that Harry had with Sally:
H: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
S: Why not?
H: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
S: That's not true. I have a number of male friends and there is no sex involved.
H: No you don't.
S: Yes I do.
H: No you don't.
S: Yes I do.
H:You only think you do.
S:You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
H:No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
S:They do not.
H:Do too.
S: They do not.
H:Do too.
S:How do you know?
H:Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
S:So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
H:No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
S:What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
H:Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
S:Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
H:I guess not.
S:That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
I started to think about my friendships with some of my closest friends that are girls. And for the most part, yes, there was a time that I had an interest in them. Most of them of have been kept hush hush because either they had a boyfriend at the time or I knew that they didn't see me more as a close friend (the Big Brother Syndrome). Only two of those girls are close to me because at that time, I was at a low point and they were there to talk to me and help me through that dark period. Other than that, the statement kind of holds true.
How do you feel about the statement? Is it true?
True
Comments (57)
I think it's more true than not, but I do have male friends that I'm positive have never wanted to have sex with me so I know it's not always true.
Yes, it's 100% true, unless one of the friends is gay.
i guess it does hold true in a sense but i have a guy friend, strictly just a friend who i'm pretty close to, we're both straight but we never talk about anything too deep other than relationships so i guess it just depends on the the person. i don't have any intentions to be with him nor does he with me.
@opheliatohamlet@xanga - not everyone finds everyone else attractive...
I have close male friends and most of them make me hot and bothered sometimes
we haven't hooked up; just secret fantasies. I'm more of their wing woman
I happen to have good looking friends-it just happend that way. I've had male friends that I wasn't interested in more than a friend and these men were shorter than me and there was no sex appeal. I literally look at him like he's my little brother lol :D harsh but true.
It's not always true. Especially if the female is unattractive or vice versa.
It's mostly true. I have this one friend that is pretty cute. She invites me over a lot (or I kind of ask to come over) and she's helped me a lot through my breakup and talking about relationships. She has a boyfriend and I would never do anything to jeapordize their relationship. That's how I can have a close relationship with her and still be okay.
i guess it's true. i wish it was otherwise though, as it has broken some friendships i've had with some close guy friends over the years.
Pretty much true.
maybe it is true untill you grow up.
lol no, this isn't true. every single one of my friends in my current location is a girl, and i want to bang a grand total of...0 of them.
but that being said, i do have a (general) policy of not being friends with girls who reject me.
I have plenty of really good female friends. One or two were ex-crushes, but for the most part, it's always been totally platonic. I have no interest in doing the deed with them at all.
I love this post. It's so hilarious, it makes me wonder if any of my guys friends thinks this way. Come to think about it, I never have a close guy friend because after some point, they all want to be more than just friends and I don't. That's how I lose most of my guy friends. I avoid them after that in order to avoid awkwardness. Actually, I wrote an post about girls and guys can't be just friends when I first started Xanga. I guess this is the basic reason why but, I didn't wrote it that way. You make all guys sound like they are perverts and only have one thing in their mind. Hopefully, some are more mature and not like that all the time.
Nope. But this could also be why I never get guys asking me out. Sad day. Moving on now...
^HOW SAD SCALE 1-10
@HOWSADBRO - Stop being a dick to @vicdaily@xanga -
I try to avoid the friend zone as much as possible. When a girl says "let's just be friends", that translates into "I'm not attracted to you in any way whatsoever". NEXT!
I think a straight male/straight female friendship without any attraction is pretty rare. I have had ONE friendship like that in my entire life, and the only reason it works is because he doesn't find me attractive physically, and vice versa.
Now... I have thought that I had platonic male friends before, but... when I got engaged they all ditched me. :/ Lesson learned.
I play in a band with 5 guys, I consider them close friends, hang out with them all the time, no sex involved, no sexual tension at all, they see me like another one of the guys and I'm cool with it. With 2 of them we have been friends for over 10 years, we learn to play music together and we formed a band, we are just a group of friends.
its true that girls sometimes miss good guys just because they are being stubborn about somethings. I know a lot of girls who cant think of dating their friends, they like them but cant date them or marry them... but i disagree with the statement that all male friends want to have sex with you. I think some can even call me their sister if they must and some of them have... so thats not true.
I don't believe it's true. Most of my friends are guys, and only one of them has ever had feelings for me. Being friends with the opposite sex is really helpful for when you want advice on relationships, and I find it less dramatic than being friends with other girls.
I also think it is very conceited to assume that just because a guy is friends with you, it means he wants to f*ck you.
@x_colormepretty_x@xanga@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga- Well, the area I was looking at was close to best friends. And it doesn't necessary has to be that he wants to fuck you, but more so just have an interest; it was just Harry that thought that way. Guys and girls can be friends without attraction, but how I looked at it was the level of attraction compared to how close the friendship is.
It's not always the guy who wants more...sometimes the girl wants more. I think it's possible for guys and girls to be friends, but there is usually some kind of attraction from at least one of the people. But I will say the majority of guy friends I have had (in the past) maybe didn't "lust" after me but if we would have been hanging out and I would have jumped on top of them...I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have pushed me off. But every friendship is unique and shouldn't be stereotyped.
hahaha that picture made me laugh, especially the part about calling and complaining.... :P
I 99% agree with the platonic friend thing, but part of me says its not true, just because I have a guy friend who I've been friends with for years. I've never been sexually attracted to him, and if he ever was attracted to me I wasn't aware, but either way we're still friends. no not BFF do everything together friends, but I think that way is better for opposite-sex friendships.