I'd allow and appreciate it.

My policy is whoever did the asking out should pay for the date, it shouldn't automatically be the guy. Although it usually is the guy who pays because he's the one who asked; because most women are either too shy and afraid or too arrogant to ask. The kicker of that though is supposedly men and women are equals...so why are the men usually the ones doing the asking? I know, off topic.

Anyways, to get to the questions, I wish more women were like you. I would gladly and happily welcome a woman who paid her way. It shows me that she's invested in this too, even if it is only the third or fourth date. And on that note, if a woman is looking to appear as independent, that is the way to do it. If you want to look weak, submissive, and immature then go with the aforementioned, " fake 'grab for my credit card' and innocently fighting over the bill when you know what the outcome's going to be".

Personally, I don't take women out to dinner for the first few dates. Usually it's exploring the city or some outdoor activity; if things go well then I'll probably suggest we get a bite to eat.

In regards to secretly paying the bill I would think it was a pleasant surprise and actually quite cute. It's a small gesture but it says so many positive things about you and your character.

I completely appreciate when this happens. A gal who insisted or expected that I always pay for all dates forever is not the kind of gal I like to date. 

i actually kind of expect this by the 2nd date. but if a girl insists on paying for the first date, i usually assume it's because she's not interested.

this topic has been discussed at great length. there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman paying the bill, whether it be upfront or discretely.

@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - I was half kidding but also expressing a personal grievance. On topic of sewing though, I can't use the machine but I'm not bad with a thread and needle. I do agree as well that's it wrong that women get paid less for doing the same level of work. On the topic of gender roles people may choose whatever they like, that is their right, but at the same time those gender roles are constantly changing. These days the typical role that is rising and being promoted is the "independent woman", who is successful, who has her own career, and isn't dependent upon a man for money or her lot in life. Part of that is that women are now starting to pull away from the archaic view that the man needs to pay for everything. So personally speaking, I will not take a woman seriously if she doesn't start giving her fair share after the first few dates and I'll likely stop seeing her. I expect a woman to carry her own weight because that's what I'm trying to do for her.

I'd pay my half of the bill if I wasn't interested in him on the first date, so nothing is owed, and those bitter guys can't say that I'm using guys for free meals-some don't mind but it is a sign that I want nothing to do with him lol. if I go on a second date, I'm interested, so either of us can pay. if he pays for the second date, then I'll pay the third. switch on who pays, so it isn't him paying most of the time or vice versa. nobody wants to date a scrub or feel taken advantage of. however, if he insists on dining at an expensive place, then it would be at his expense, but that's alright for birthdays, not everyday. even if I was rich, I wouldn't want to feel that I'm always paying just because I have more money. it doesn't have to be completely monetarily equal, but just show the appreciation and be thankful with other gestures.

This happened to me recently. A girl I've been out with several times before paid for MY bill for the very first time. She showed up late to our date because of downtown traffic so she paid for my drink. Now I have paid for the 3 other dates we've had but those were dinners out at restaurants. 

I'd always pay because if I didn't I'd feel I wasn't being a gentleman. When I pay for the bill, I'm not saying she is incapable of paying (some girls think that way, idk why).

@wyrdkismet@xanga - really?  actually, now that i think about it, i think it's the one piece of dating advice i've picked up from datingish over the years.  most girls seem to insist on paying when they aren't interested.  so that's generally how i interpret it.  if she's interested but still genuinely wants to split, i just ask that she pay for the next date.  win for everyone :)

I don't think I would secretly do it, but I like the idea of 'me' paying sometimes. I feel helpless when somebody wants to constantly take me out and doesn't let me pay every once in a while

Recently, I asked a guy out on a date, and not only that, but a sorta pricey date. We went to see an exhibit and it was $20 per admission. I had every intention of paying since I asked him out and I suggested the date, but he took out his credit card before I could. Then he paid for out pizza too. When I suggested another sorta pricey date (Lion King 3D), I made sure to get the tickets beforehand so that might be considered "sneaky". I just didn't feel comfortable letting his pay again when it was something I suggested and didn't want him wondering if I was using him as a way to do stuff for free. I probably would have, though, let him pay if I paid for the museum. I still would have been willing to pay, but ya know. The good news is we both really enjoyed both so it's not like either of us suffered for the other.

Our third date this Friday is going to be in my apartment watching a movie. We might get food. He'll probably pay, but I can pay for my own if he doesn't. I appreciate the gesture but I don't know his financial situation and I know I have a job, as little money as I make (only $80 a month). Maybe I shouldn't feel bad, his parents might pay for that credit card and they both are doctors. O.O

But ya, I'm very uncomfortable with guys paying for me when they really don't have the money to be doing so. I dated a man in Egypt, he had a very good job but even so he didn't have a lot of money to spend and kinda racked up a high credit card bill in the 4 months I was there and we dated. He paid for everything and anything, wouldn't even let me treat him to dinner on his birthday. It was a shame, because things that were very cheap to me weren't to him, and I had better means to pay for a lot of stuff. He heard a flat would be 300 LE a night and would refuse because it was so expensive, while I was sitting there thinking "$60? Awesome!"