I met this fantastic guy online about two months ago. We both are very attracted to each other, and we've talked every single day since the first time we chatted online. I know the relationship will be for the long run. I am also starting to realize that he may be the one. But there is one major problem. I live in Texas and he lives in L.A.
I'm a college student and he already has his degree and a job. My mom is very overprotective. If I tell her I'm going to a friend's house, she gets worried and freaks out. She makes me feel guilty for even proposing to go to friends who live less than 10 miles away.
The guy and I have been planning on seeing each other halfway, and see how it would go. But I don't know how to break it down to my mom, who knows all of my bad previous relationships' collapses.
What should I do? Should I not go, and regret not going knowing he may be the one? Or should I just go and see if I've found the one?
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Comments (19)
This happened with my boyfriend and I. Same exact places too. Maybe you should convince him to come to Texas to visit you and just split it half and half. Then, your mom can meet him and she might feel more comfortable with you seeing him after that.
Exactly, he could come visit you and meet your mom.
I'd really suggest not meeting him alone. Take a friend or a family with you. But if you do go alone, make sure you meet in a public place. It's always best to err on side of caution.
But don't give up on this just because your mom might not approve.
No regrets.
I definitely agree with @sunflowersforlove@xanga. Since he does have a career and is somewhat financially stable, have him come see you and you could split the difference when he's there. Personally, I wouldn't go out and meet someone (who I met from) online halfway for safety reasons. He could be who he says, but he also couldn't. At least your mom can meet him and she won't have a panic attack if she does find out that you want to meet someone that you met on the internet halfway.
I met my husband on myspace lol...but we were like twenty minutes from each other. I agree with everyone else make him come to you. And don't meet him alone. There are a lot of crazies out there, so be careful.
Make him come to you. He's the one with the money! Then your mom can go with you to meet him and maybe seeing that he's not a creeper will ease her worries! Also, you want to make sure he's who he says he is too. DO VIDEO CALLS. So much can be faked with pictures and just text chatting.
One more thing: There are over 6 billion people in over 196 countries in the world, so from L.A. to Texas is really not that far. People are not trees. We are mobile. I met my boyfriend on Xanga and he lives in Missouri and I live in Washington state. We are totally long-term! He's planning to move here in May. If you guys are meant to be, it will work out! :)
spring brake trip with friends somewhere is what you tell her. or winter brake I guess because that is closer lol
sorry guys it is not L.A. as in Los Angeles but as in Louisiana.
first off, as a lady, get a friend to go. he could be a murderer/ rapist or something. you never know. otherwise, with a friend... go meet him!
that's similar to how I felt when I talked to a college guy from online when I was 17, naive and boy-cuhraazy. that mofo tricked me and wasn't who he said he was. each situation is different and he could possibly be the one if you feel that way. my only advice is be careful. I wished my mother was more overprotective and asked about my online happenings when I was younger to prevent me from meeting some sociopathic weirdo. another learning experience. good luck with your love.
This type of thing is tough when you don't actually know someone in the flesh.
It's like you're living my life right now. The person I love is halfway across the country, and I'm still in college while he has already graduated and has a stable job. My dad sounds exactly like your mom; he would go insane if he knew I cared about someone I met online. I definitely can relate to this post.
I agree with everyone else; have him come to you. It would make things easier on your mom since she'll be able to meet him and see for herself that he isn't a crazy rapist. Good luck! :)
@Kirux@xanga - did you ever meet the guy?? and if you did what happened? how did yall meet? what did you dad say or do?
totally agree with @sunflowersforlove ! :)
@Kirux@xanga - I have been in this situation for five years now, and I've known him for seven. He's visited me many times, but my parents still don't trust (me?) enough for me to visit him. We have to wait at least another year (I need to graduate and get a better job) before moving for either of us is possible.
@the OP, long story short, try not to invest so much into online relationships if you don't have any financial plans. If your parent's influence is still a large deterrent, you're probably not in the situation to happily handle an online relationship. You'll probably have to wait years unless your guy is just rich and you're willing to move away.
@SHmeEPeh@xanga - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. It must be quite a pain to not be trusted like that. Good luck with your relationship though! :D
@openmind - No, we haven't been able to meet yet. I haven't actually told him how I feel yet, haha... But I've known him for about five years, so we're very good friends. My mom knows about him, and she seems to think he's a very nice guy. Honestly, and this is going to sound horrible, my dad's opinion doesn't really matter all that much. He would probably just be mad that the guy is a different race (he's quite intolerant of a LOT of things).
Keep talking to him online. 2 months might be too soon. Maybe do a few skype sessions, phone calls, and webcams. When it's time to meet, get a friend or someone to be with you. Or like everyone said, have him come over and let him meet your parents. You should be well acquainted through technological communication to know each other fairly well by the time you two meet.
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seems like there's a lot of LDR's going on right now XD I know exactly how you feel - my boyfriend lives in Washington state, I live in Sweden...
but yeah, I highly reccomend skype :)
yeah. i agree with most of the comments above. meet him when you're with some friends or family.