Wednesday, 14 September 2011
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Dear Guy Who Knows He's Cute...
So, the recent ‘Dear Girl I’m Talking To’ post on Datingish motivated me to write the following. No, it’s not a response or an attack on the poster. I just hijacked the basic format.
Dear Guy Who Knows He’s Cute,
Guess what? We know (that you know that you’re cute). You may actually be attractive, confident, smart, and nice, but honestly, guys like you send me running in the opposite direction. Your demeanor is confident, but flirtatiously cocky. You know women like what they see and that makes us disposable, not lovable. You’re short-term material and unfortunately (or fortunately), I’m interested in something more. Perhaps I’m judging you too quickly, since we’ve only met twice, but both times your message was clear.
Maybe it was the way you introduced me to a huge group of your guy friends after we’d been chatting (or should I consider this flirting?) at the networking social for half an hour. Or maybe it was the way you stopped mid stride, paused to let my conversation with a good friend come to an end, and then recognize my presence by greeting me by name (having only met me once before, this is quite impressive), batting those long eye lashes and flashing that ever so confident smile.
It’s too bad I had a class to run off to or we may have actually exchanged phone numbers. You’re cute, I’ll give you that, but the problem is that you KNOW you’re cute. Your smile carries your ego and I simply just can’t stand the cockiness.
Maybe I should give you a chance. Maybe this cocky arrogance is just a mask for your insecurities and your perceived inadequacies. Maybe you know everything I’ve written is true, but you can’t change the way you behave. Maybe I’ve misread you. Maybe I haven’t.
So, I have a small request. If a genuine, respectable, nice (and if I’m really lucky, slightly nerdy) guy is actually buried underneath all that cockiness, please let your guard down and Just. Act. Normal. If, on the other hand, your looks and mannerisms were not intended to deceive and you really are, as you appear to be, please, by all means, move right along to the next girl. History has proven that you are a flight risk and I’m not interested in dedicating my time and investing my emotions into a disposable relationship.
I’ll let you in on a secret: I’m hoping for the former, so please don’t let me down.
All The Best,
Your skeptical and cautious friend
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- From: light_blue_fables@xanga
- About Me: The blog was created as a journal for documenting my progress, challenges, etc. to reaching a healthy (and happy) lifestyle. I have, however, learned along the way that I kind of enjoy blogging and more often than not, my posts are about what is happening in my life. I keep my blog 'protected' more or less to filter out the trolls, so (assuming you're not a troll) please don't be afraid to friend me... I'll probably add you.
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Comments (24)
perfect letter to a T. :)
:)
>o, I have a small request. If a genuine, respectable, nice (and if I’m
really lucky, slightly nerdy) guy is actually buried underneath all that
cockiness, please let your guard down and Just. Act. Normal. If, on
the other hand, your looks and mannerisms were not intended to deceive
and you really are, as you appear to be, please, by all means, move
right along to the next girl.
So if he is putting on an act, then you want him, but if he is being congruent, then you don't?
Girls...pfftt...you all craaazzzy!
fortunately, guys never face these kinds of problems with attractive girls. we're never falsely given attention in order to buy drinks (or get other favors), and we're always treated as if we're lovable, not disposable.
LOLOLOL i hate guys like this too. newsflash: you're not all that.
I know I'm cute, too, so the cute guy, who knows that he is cute, better check himself
that's probably why people of similar attractiveness or cockiness date each other, so they don't feel that insecure or worry that they'll be dumped because they feel that they are disposable. if you feel that your worth is just as much or more as well or in similar leagues, then it is fair game
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Amen
So wait...A guy who knows that he is attractive is automatically assumed to be cocky and arrogant...But a woman who knows (or believes) that she is attractive is perfectly to do as she pleases and should be encouraged to continue to "be proud of her body and femininity". Obviously I'm exaggerating and extrapolating a bit. Gotta love double standards and hypocrisy.
Although I do love how it's come to the point in our society where if someone is confident enough in themselves to believe they are attractive this what they receive and are assumed to be.
In short, women and people in general just can't make up their minds on what they want and this post is just proof of that.
My guy knows he's hot. He also doesn't see women as disposable. I know I'm good looking. I don't treat men as disposables. Confidence, and the occasional cockiness aren't necessarily indicators of other behaviors. If you don't like it, maybe it's you who should be moving along.
"So, I have a small request. If a genuine, respectable, nice (and if I’m
really lucky, slightly nerdy) guy is actually buried underneath all
that cockiness, please let your guard down and Just. Act. Normal."
Not in a million years. You have to earn that privilege.
@MomWithoutaMinivan@xanga - @Ashley Nicole Anders@facebook - @QuantumStorm@xanga - Thank you to all of you :)
I have often wondered what it would be like to be a really, really, really good looking guy. How would it affect me? I think that I would eat up all of the attention and flattery and the open doors that it got me. At the same time, it sound like a lot of pressure.
@Guteman91 -
"In short, women and people in general just can't make up their minds on what they want and this post is just proof of that."
I can say amen to that.
Perhaps this was a little generalised, but isn't that sort of the point?
The whole time I was thinking "Ian Somerhalder, Ian Somerhalder, Ian Somerhalder, ..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aharsqDVeLs
@Ashley Nicole Anders@facebook - Yeah pretty much what I was thinking too.
"Maybe this cocky arrogance is just a mask for your insecurities and your perceived inadequacies."
-Cocky arrogance is almost always because of insecurities and defense mechanisms. Just sayin.
What about a cute guy who knows he's cute, but acts like a nice nerd? heh.
I didn't really get anything cocky about this. He introduced you to friends quickly and made a point of showing that he knew your name? And he's got a confident attitude... my dear, what you're looking at is a man. And it sounds like he likes you and is going for it without beating around the bush or making you wonder whether he's interested- that's a good thing! That confidence thing- he's strutting for you! Ever seen a male peacock spread out his tail feathers for a female's viewing pleasure? Men do that too. I've got a guy who knows that he's good-looking, and I love it.
To be honest, the way you assume that he thinks you're disposable makes me think that you have some insecurities and perceived flaws. You should give this guy a chance.
@Guteman91 - @QuantumStorm@xanga - @nyclegodesi24@xanga - Right?
I know/knew a guy like this. He walked around knowing he could get any girl whenever he wanted and acted as though I was lucky to be talking to him. He would claim he was really into me....but apparently not since it never went anywhere.
The key is finding the guy who's cute, knows it, and has some humility about it.
Here's a good real-life scenario. Being cocky alone comes off as arrogant. If he was just funny on the other hand, you'd probably think he was goofy. That's why he should have been BOTH cocky and funny.
Regardless, you must be attracted to him somewhat to take the time and effort to write about him. Had he really been the nice, dorky guy you've been asking for, I seriously doubt you'd be that interested in him. Once he starts acting 'nice' to you (assuming he does), I'm pretty sure you'll be BEGGING him to go back to being cocky.
That was my boyfriend... but he let out the genuine, respectable, nice and extremely nerdy side of him.
:o)
Even when we met for our first date, when I saw him I thought, "no way is this going to go anywhere. He's a total jerk." Burberry jacket, huge, pricey (brand I forgot) shades, deepest tan (I believe he even had some fake tanner on his face), tons of hair product, those oh so perfect faded jeans...
He was lucky the genuine, respectable, nice, nerdy side came out. :o)
perfect! i should print this out and give it to guys i know or see :D
LOL LOVE IT
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If you've only met the guy twice and you don't even have his phone number, I think you may be jumping the gun with your opinions of his character. Atleast get to know the guy a bit as friend first. You already seem disappointed by a guy who is practically a stranger.
But you only hope he isn't cocky because he's good looking.
This was to me isn't it. I KNEW IT. I knew you could see through my lies and come face to face with my insecurities.
Don't judge me. I just wanted to be loved. IS THAT SO WRONG!?