Well, as my personal blog, I feel the need to tell you about my past Saturday night. My brother and his long time girlfriend of eight years are finally getting married on September 24th. A couple weekends ago I was supposed to make my way to Fire Island for Tray's bachelorette party. Unfortunately, hurricane Irene had other plans, and we were forced to all stay home. Skip to this past week, where instead of a whole weekend, we were ready to hit up Fire Island for just one night.
Now, to be honest, and I've aired this prior on my blog, I'm definitely the odd girl out when it comes to Tray's friends. A) I'm 23 while all the other girls are 28-31. B) Most are married and have children. C) They are definitely preppy, sorority girls. Now, these aren't bad things, it's just that there isn't much common ground to talk on. Yet, I sucked it up for Tracy, knowing this is a very important weekend for her. I figured if all else fails I could easily get drunk, or just say I had a headache and head back to the hotel.
Aside from one jab about my pink streaks in my hair, everything went smoothly. It was a gorgeous day as we road to the island on the ferry. The hotel suite was gorgeous and we eagerly put our stuff down to head to the beach. The beach, however, turned out to be "meh" as the clouds began rolling in. It was actually pretty damned cold but we braved the frigid air for a bit. We even got to see some deer walking on the beach. People were literally going up to them and petting them. They weren't scared for shit.
As rain began to sprinkle down on us we decided to head back to the town on Fire Island. At this point my flip flop was rubbing my foot thanks to all the sand. But the ground is kinda gross so I definitely wasn't walking back barefoot. I figured I'd just get back to the hotel and wash my foot off. Unfortunately a lovely blister had already formed. Not really willing to walk around in pain for the rest of the day /night, I busted out my converse. I brought them simply because they are comfy and I'm now glad I had.
We walked around for most of the day. Me in a dress and my converse, a funny sight to see I'm sure, and the rest of the girls looking perfectly dressed for the island. The sun came out and we tooled around the town as the girls shopped. I was being frugal, however, because I didn't want to be short for dinner or drinks later on. Eventually we head back to the hotel. I read and took a nap before hopping into the shower to get ready to go out.
Knowing we were all wearing tank tops sporting "Bride's Entourage" I didn't think we were going all out when it came to dressing up. I only brought a pair of shorts, a skirt, and pair of Bermuda shorts, thinking which ever looked best with the shirt would be perfect. But these girls all brought skinny jeans and pretty sandals. I donned my Bermuda shorts, my converse and the tank top, definitely feeling slightly out of place. But a part of me was relieved as I thought no one is going to bother me that night. Or at least guys would be more interested in them.
And so we made our way to dinner. Sitting next to the only two single girls in the group, they were very nice to me. Perhaps 15 minutes into sitting down the table next to us gets filled by a bachelor party. One guy in particular was standing right behind me before they all sat down. We all chatted with him, and he barely even looked at me. We were trying to get him to tell us who was single in their group for Sharee and Kim. It was then that Tracy accidentally said "that whole side of the table is single." Then realizing I was on that side she mentioned that "Oh no, Emily will be getting married at some point." But apparently no one heard that part!
Anyway we all sit down and start ordering. The bachelor is hilarious as he hula hoops, gives all high fives etc. We give Tray dare cards and such and it's just going well. The boys buy us all shots. Two girls opt out and suddenly the guy who's been standing/sitting behind me is trying to convince me to do the second shot. I explain to him I learned my lesson with tequila a long time ago, he eases off but he continues to chat nicely with me for the rest of dinner. As we are getting ready to leave, we tell them to meet us at this one bar because of this DJ. They say sure, they'll catch up later, and we bounce.
We make a pit stop at the hotel to pick up hoodies because it's so chilly out. So not only was I wearing chucks, I was now wearing a Batman hoody. I was not dressed to impress! We made our way to the bar and it turns out it's freaking hot so the hoodies come off. The girls began dancing but I was still out of sorts. Mike never dances when we go out, so I usually don't dance either. But, I didn't want to look out of place and I genuinely wanted to have fun, so I ordered a drink and began dancing and probably looking like the biggest dork. So many people were buying us shots and drinks just because we were a bachelorette party, that it wasn't long before I didn't even care what people thought. And not long after our bachelor party showed up. And guess who is conveniently standing by me...that guy.
I can't lie. He was very cute. And once again we were back to chit chatting, though it was more like screaming over the music. Half the pictures of me are of him bending down so I can say something to him. But still, I'm an idiot and didn't really think anything of it. I thought he was being friendly. With all the boys from the party there, we began dancing. The bachelor was in rare form as he danced like a mad man.
Of course, who do I end up dancing with? You guessed it. I'm telling you he never left my side, and it was at this point that I started to get a little suspicious. We danced, he talked me into doing the limbo, we drank. Tracy, happy to see me simply let my hair down, was ecstatic. She decided to capture the moment several times, but this is my favorite picture.
What happened to that odd girl out? I wasn't feeling it any longer that's for sure. Tracy finally decided she wanted to hit up a different bar. I'm not sure what made me turn around to him and tell him to come with us, but I did. Maybe it was the attention, maybe it was the fact that he was cute, and maybe it's the fact that me and Mike have been having difficulties. Either way, I asked and he followed us out quickly.
Outside the first bar, and drunkenly deciding to have a cigarette, it was then that Tracy and I started talking about how Mike cannot see all these pictures. And then Jeff chimed in. "Wait so you have a boyfriend?" I wasn't looking to cheat or anything, as much as I liked the attention, so I said yea. "Well, I don't feel so bad dancing and talking to you then." Wait, what? Turns out he's getting married next month. But, of course, me always playing the innocent was like "Well it's just dancing and whatever."
But truthfully it wasn't. We spent the next few hours in the other bar but away from everyone. It was the strangest attraction ever between us. He said from the start that he had sat next to me on purpose and that once we left he insisted on following the girl with "the chucks." I couldn't believe it. I thought I was the last person anyone would be looking at. And maybe that's why I was so flattered. After he bought me another beer and after talking about everything under the sun, we took a little walk and just continued to talk. Between the booze and just the weird attraction between us, we talked about how we'd love to kiss one another, but we couldn't. I'm just not like that, and he was engaged. However, the question is...If he hadn't realized I wasn't single would he have ever told me he was engaged?
By the end of the night I'm pretty sure everyone was expecting Jeff and I to hook up. And although we both definitely wanted to, I knew I'd regret it in the morning. Like it or not, he was engaged and getting married in a month, and I had Mike back home. So the night ended with a big hug after he walked me to the hotel. He had to literally watch me walk in the door before turning around because he said the urge to not walk away was too strong. (Uh, why are you getting married dude?)
And so the night ended with me being very confused. Never in my four years of dating Mike have I EVER been attracted to someone in the way I was to Jeff. Never have I EVER had the urge to cheat. At this point I don't know how I feel. I don't want to be with Jeff, obviously. But what really gets me is I really enjoyed the attention. I met Mike when I was 18 and because of this I missed out on a lot of things. I never got the chance to hit up the bars and just dance and flirt. And now, after four years, I'm feeling as if I really have missed out. It was an eye opening night for me and I have no idea how I feel.
The truth is, the chance of meeting a guy as cute as Jeff who is my exact opposite and is blown away by me is very slim. And the chance of me feeling this way again could be slim. It took me four years to even feel this way once. Do I want to jeopardize my relationship with Mike? IDK. My confusion is ridiculous.
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Comments (18)
After being with someone for so long, it is normal to be attracted to someone else especially if they are attractive and giving you attention (that you either lack in your relationship or not). I don't need to get the information out of you bc you obviously don't want to be with Mike. Break up, be single, and have fun while you're at it but don't regret your decision once you have your fun. It's not fair to Mike if that's the way you're going to roll. Make a decision and stick with it. Life is too short to live with regrets and all the what ifs.
You have been with him when most people your age are out dating and you got to see the fun of feeling single for a night. Of course you have doubts. Plus, 4 years with someone and you're not even engaged or talked about it with him? The mind begins to wander after being with someone so long and it feels like it's at a standstill. Don't just stay in a relationship because it's comfortable. If you want to move on, do it. But lay off the "in the corner secluded talks with males you're attracted to" until then. Emotional cheating is just as bad.
The bar scene is hardly something to long for. Ew.
Okay for one, I don't think it's ew or bad that you liked the bar scene and getting hit on while you were taken. Like someone else said, four years is a long time to be with someone and not be talking about (or already) marriage. I do think you may possibly be lacking something in your relationship if you went as far as asking the guy to bar hop with you but I don't think it's wrong to like the attention you're getting from someone outside of your relationship. It is kind of worrisome that you're confused about your feelings. I would hope that after being in a relationship for four years, you would be solidly invested in your relationship with your SO. It does speak volumes that you didn't do anything sexual with the guy though. I do give you credit where others might judge you for "cheating" emotionally. You danced with someone, big deal. You talked on a corner, eh, if conversation is innocent enough then big deal. He asked if you were taken, you told the truth. If you lied, I might be more "=/" about it. Overall, I do think you should do some soul searching. If you feel like you're being tied down too quickly and you want to see other people just to see what you're missing out on, tell your guy about it. It's definitely more cruel to stay in a relationship when you're unsure than to break his heart by being honest. I wish you the best of luck.
RIDICULOUS WTF.
lol, all I thought was "Yu-Gi-Oh!" after I saw the picture.
I can't add much more than xcrownedhopeless did. Did you ever feel that attraction with Mike? It's more than normal for things to feel stale after a few years and it's easy to get carried away if someone is tempting you with attention. But there has to be a reason you're with Mike, and if there isn't, it's simply time to move on.
If you're craving the bar scene, you need to let Mike go so you can scratch that itch. Those "I'm missing out on something" cravings tend to get worse, not better. We'll all tell you it's not worth it, but that's something most people just need to see for themselves.
love your yugioh pic btw.Not cool
Damn that guy is disgusting...
And dancing and flirting isn't really something so great that you're missing out on, so don't get too worried. Why would you rather flirt with guys every weekend who will just forget you ever existed the next day?
Not only is that guy ugly, but he was engaged and still WANTING to kiss you and even said he had a hard time walking away from you? That sends the douche flag high and flyin'. WOW
I don't know what it's like to be with someone for four years, because I've only had two other relationships and they both only lasted a year and a half. But I sure hope that when my current boyfriend and I have been together for four years, it's nothing like what you have. I've thought guys were hot, but I have never, ever, came across ANYONE who I was more attracted to than my boyfriend. No guy has even come close to being as amazingly stunning as my boyfriend.
I think HE'S the one that should be thinking about his relationship, it's obvious he was trying to hook up with you, which is not appropriate behavior for someone getting married in a month! What a creeper.
In the UK, the drinking age is an 18-- I just turned 18 about three weeks ago, and in that time I've gone to quite a few bars, and can tell you that the guys in there are not really the ones you should want to be gettin with.. It's full of creeps who may spike your drink or don't take no for an answer.. I'd say you were much better off in your relationship.
And I don't think you should be jeopardising a long-term thing for someone you met for one night, who, to be quite frank, sounds like a bit of a prick. (engaged and trying to pick up other women? good luck to his future wife!)
stay in your relationship. there are loads of girls that would kill to be in one, rather than messing around with guys from bars.
@Asinine_Dreams@xanga - me too lol i used to be all into that
The grass is always greener...
Same thing happened to me, though I was with my boyfriend from age 19-21. A year and a half into our relationship, I met a guy in one of my classes who I was immediately attracted to and got along with. I had the strongest urge to cheat and/or leave my boyfriend. A few months later, I broke up with my boyfriend, and realized this guy wasn't for me either. Basically... I wasn't supposed to be with either of them.
@xcrownedhopeless - You said it all.
OP:
Also loved the Yugioh card ;)
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@kidoncocaine@xanga - Ikr.
"By the end of the night I'm pretty sure everyone was expecting Jeff and I to hook up. And although we both definitely wanted to" .. you both should break off your relationships. people like you are why normal people get nervous when their SO goes out to bars/parties. gross. be single and regret breaking up with your BF because its not fair for him for you to go out like this..