Tuesday, 13 September 2011
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Mixing Business with Pleasure
The problem with a single gal entering the work force is twofold. First, you have to deal with older coworkers prying into your love life and trying to set you up with obscure nephews from New Jersey. Secondly, you are perpetually scouring the office for any remotely attractive coworker to fantasize about in order to make it through the work day.
Romance at the office is generally discouraged, both in the movies (“Bridget Jones”, “Love Actually”), and in company policies. But it is also one of the most natural places to meet people; you spend 40+ hours a week with your coworkers. It seems obvious when you gather a group of humans together that someone’s interest shall be piqued, someone’s libido set ablaze.I for one have never engaged in an office romance (I say “office romance” specifically because I am not counting the weird things that went down at the pan-Asian restaurant I worked at in high school). It has never seemed that exciting to me because general office work tends to suck out one’s sexual impulses. “Once I finish these expense reports, I can hop into the janitor’s closet with Greg, and then spend the next half hour going over the budget ledger! I’m living on the edge!!” Speaking from experience, if you are starting your day with an expense report at 8:30am, your sexual drive immediately plunges into a catatonic state for the next 10-12 hours.
My relationships go horrendously enough without the added pressure of “this could interfere with me keeping my job and then I will surely be evicted since the economy is in the gutter and finding another job could take months!”
I get that doing things that are wrong or dangerous can be exciting. But that’s what hook ups in parks and seedy bar alleyways are for, right? You still get some, you still keep a job, hurray! Everybody wins.
Or perhaps I can cling so steadily to morals because there are absolutely no male coworkers under age 40 where I work.
What is your take on office romances? Have you ever crossed the line between business and pleasure?
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About the Author
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- From: RachelG
- Name: Rachel
- Location: New York City, New York, United States
- About Me: A recent 23 year old NYC transplant. In college I studied Creative Writing, Gender Studies, and Art History, which clearly translates into a trifecta of professional desirability. I can often be found reading, writing, playing very sloppy guitar, eating peanut butter, and swapping love life stories with my friends due to our plethora of failed relationships. I was voted Funniest Girl in high school, and am perpetually attempting to drop that in casual conversations without having it appear that I am still desperately clinging to it (which, let's face it, I am).
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Comments (22)
had a friend that did something along those lines...didn't work out too well. I have def done some flirting and such at different jobs but only summer jobs. I wouldn't want to risk my professional career (lol if I had one) on a fling.
Never did it and never plan to do it. The atmosphere if things were to go bad in the relationship would be overwhelming and literally follow you just about everywhere.
I had an office romance and although he worked in a different department, it was rough when it ended. We had been very hot and heavy and the chemistry was raw so every time we saw each other (pre-break up) there were butterflies in my stomach and I actually had a hard time focusing. It was terrible for my work performance.
After we broke, it was rough for both of us. I acted cold, he acted hurt. Our jobs required us to correspond frequently so eventually he quit because he couldn't handle seeing me all the time and not coming home to me that night (we had lived together).
I would say keep it platonic in the workforce because when it ends, it's bad. However, I know some people who have met at work and are still somewhat happily married. Even those couples fight because of work though. My best advice is to tread lightly at first and for a long while after.
No, only because it can cause problems for You and them. But then, I`m not looking, `cause I`m not that lonely. Maybe if that changes...... who knows?
Peace
i have a policy of not dipping my pen in company ink, no matter how tempting it is.
now, however, i work at a client's site, and there are a handful of good-looking girls around here. it's not against the rules to fuck the client's employees, is it?
I work with all women in a male clientele based salon. We all stay far far away from any of the clients. It's kind of the same thing in my opinion. They come in there to get their hair cut and you don't want to mix love and money. I'm just the receptionist so it's a little bit different, but I think all the guys that come in think I'm in high school and not 21 which I kind of like anyways haha. When I worked at a water park and at ChuckECheese all the employees used to date and I used to date people, but I was in high school and cared more about boys than money. Now I'm in a relationship so I don't pay attention to other guys and I've become a little money hungry haha. It kind of depends on where you work though. My two previous jobs did not care if we dated as long as we kept it outside of work which while you work with mostly all high schoolers is impossible.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Just call it good customer service
Never did (when I was single). I was never attracted to anyone at work and I'm thinking if this "office relationship" went downhill, it ain't going to look pretty facing the person every day or hearing gossips until the next big thing takes over.
I slept with my boss before. I was working at a gym, and he was the manager. I knew it wasn't right but we were really digging eachother. It didn't really end well because I had no intentions on making it a permanent, long term relationship - i was moving. He had different intentions, so when I broke the news that I was moving, he was pretty upset. But I haven't done it again, and I never will. Biiiiig mistake on my part.
I've never dated anyone I worked work. I do not intend to (if I weren't married already). It's just a bad idea. Pleasure and business shouldn't mix. Even getting friends or family involved in your business doesn't work. (Partners, not just working the phones for your parents.) I wouldn't want to have to look for a new job when the relationship goes sour because the working relationship would be just too weird.
Im a nursing a student, I come across the cute attending/doctor, charming nurse to hot paramedic. So the innocent flirting is good to keep you entertained for the next 8-12 hrs. I really haven't encountered the whole dating scene at work yet but I don't think I'd want to deal with the gossip and drama.
my work place is very professional with a long list of strict standards in the contract, so I could be fired for numerous reasons. it isn't worth losing my job over.
" But that’s what hook ups in [...] seedy bar alleyways are for, right?"
...
No.. never mix business with romance. I don't even recommend mixing business with friendship, it helps to kill some of my friendships.
NO NO NO NO! From personal experience, don't do it! It is such a mess if/when things go bad. You have to see the person every day and it makes it 230412 times harder to get over the person. I'm sure there's office romances that went well, but we can't all be Pam and Jim Halperts.
i had an office romance a while back and it was great when it was great but it was bad when it got bad. i don't care for them anymore. i rather not have to see that person every day and night bc i think i got so sick of that. i think people should try it out if they want to but it's not all that it is out to be.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - What do you do?
@Kittyluve@xanga - at a 5 star hotel.
My internship boss was only three years older than me and at times I did find myself attracted to him. Apparently, he felt the same toward me, because shortly after the internship ended, he tried to kiss me...twice. I might have had those thoughts in the back (wayy far back) of my mind, but I wanted to still keep it professional. I mean, I still need a recommendation from this guy for my next job! Maybe after I land another job, all that can be possible, but frankly, I'm now pretty turned off after he was so forward so sudden.
My advice on office romance? It's best to stay away from it. Far, far away.
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i dont think ill ever plan on it. if im with someone i stay truthful even if that guy is good looking. hahah
My boyfriend and I met through our company. It did start out as innocent flirting, and then quickly became a lustful, sex-filled friends with benefits situation. In all honesty, working with him at the point was hard. Days when I wanted to be more than just friends were a pain in the ass at work. Not to mention the awkward looks we'd get when we would come to work the next morning, clearly in the same clothes and the day before . . . There were days when I would have rather skinned myself alive than be in the country as him - let alone the same workplace.
HOWEVER, there was a silver lining to this raincloud. Over time, we found a strong friendship within the lines of lust. Eventually, it turned to love. With patience and understanding, we both found a way to make it work. It's actually the best relationship I've ever had. If we have a tiff outside of work, we make sure to drop it the minute we walk through the doors.
In regards to our co-workers and boss, we told them when we were sure we were serious. We were together a couple months before we made it public to our boss, who to my surprise, was very supportive and excited. Our co-workers were a little indifferent to it, I guess you could say.
All in all, it has been well worth it. I strongly believe that someone shouldn't knock something until they try it. It could be what you've always wanted; it could be a nightmare. But you don't know unless you try. :)