Well, after thinking about it for some time, I decided to go ahead and ask Jenna out. I will admit I was torn for some time as to whether or not I wanted to do it, and not because of her status as a M-to-F transsexual, that's never been an issue. For me it has more to do with timing. Now doesn't seem like the ideal time to date with everything going on in my life, but I can't deny my feelings for Jenna any longer. It's driving me mad.
So I did ask her out a couple of days ago, and much to my surprise she accepted without hesitation! Honestly, I got the vibe that she was waiting for me to do so the way she reacted to me. I think this is a good initial sign that she might have been reciprocating my feelings for her, and maybe even before I started falling for her. Who knows?
So I'll be headed back to Merida this weekend to visit and for our first date. We met back in February when I was living in Merida doing the initial part of my commercial training. Now living in Mexico City some 800 miles away, we'll be apart from each other for a good long while yet (about another year while she finishes up cosmetology school). As a friend pointed out, this can work to my advantage: we can ease into our relationship and see if it goes anywhere, and I see another benefit. It'll allow me to see if she can handle being in a relationship with me (and perhaps a marriage later on) even though I'll be away from home about 15 days per month on average.
Though I wasn't looking for love at the moment, I would kick myself for the rest of my life if I didn't give things a try. Jenna is like a perfect fit for me. She's the child-free, independent, career-driven woman I've always dreamed of. She fell in love with Lindy Hop ever since I introduced her to it, and she's perfectly ok with my slightly "different" fashion choices. I couldn't really ask for more.
Like I said earlier, her status as M-to-F transsexual (fully post-op) has never been an issue for me. I know Jenna as a woman. I met a woman in the park the first time, and that's who I met and will always know. I'm a firm believer that you are the gender you identify as, not what your DNA determines. Jenna is a beautiful, strong woman, and if I were to be completely honest I have a lot of admiration for the fact she was brave enough to be who she really is. It may just work out for the both of us.
Wish us luck!
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Comments (63)
Awesome! Oh, SO looking forward to this going well. =) And hey, you're not into kids right? So this is actually perfect for you.
And it's very cool of you to be okay with Jenna. =)
I didnt read this post because I wanted to make this joke first:
I don't think dating a transexual would be any different from the norm, because you'd still be thinking "am I gonna fuck you, or am I gonna get fucked?"Oh, guess that joke wouldn't have worked. (Just read the post)
But I'm happy for you. It would definitely be a change for me to get used to.Congrats! It's wonderful that you both found someone :)
Just wondering, though, why the strong aversion to kids?
@hotteayummy@xanga - In no particular order: the cost to raise one (the most recent calculation is $226,920, and I have a lot better things to do with that kind of money), my chosen career (airline pilot, so I'm away from home at least half the month), my poor genetic health (carrier for two genetic diseases that would be cruel to pass on), general dislike of children (temper tantrums, shit-filled diapers, raging hormones, nasal high-pitched voices, etc.), lack of freedom that comes with children, and the list goes on. In short children would prevent me from living the independent, lavish lifestyle I plan on living.
lol.
Cute! I hope things go well for you guys :)
Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aw. The asshole found somebody. ;)
@missmerlot@xanga - I'm not sure whether to thank you or kick your ass into the next county for that comment....
@StatelessPilot@revelife - Why not both?
Well this is a truly beautiful story, and since I don't know why you're being called an asshole, I'll just go with congratulations and I hope it works out for you. Unfortunately, Transfolk sometimes have a hard time finding someone to be accepting of them. I think it's absolutely wonderful that you're willing to see past what others can't. Maybe you'll get some heat for your dislike of children but I honestly say, that's great. We're already horribly overpopulated and while I don't disagree with one child, I really don't see the point of large families who purposely use no contraception. If anything, people should be happy that you're going to be living the life you want and not dragging a child through (what you already know) would be a mess (IE, not being at home much). All the more power to you, seriously.
Awww. Good for you :)
Good luck(: I hope you guys have a great first date!
Hey congrats and good luck! i really liked your blog, even if the picture (which i am guessing you didnt choose) was kinda ridiculous. But best of luck in your relationship!
@mooshpitmatt@xanga - lol, blame the editors for that one!
Good luck to the both of you. I'm glad you wrote this post so then people could see that dating a transgendered is like dating someone that never had doubts about their gender.
I think it's probably not an issue for you because you're already choosing not to have sex until you get married, isn't that correct?
Good luck figuring the sex out after you marry this person. No offense to any transsexuals, but I think unless you're sure you're completely 100% okay with them sexually you shouldn't get serious with this person, it does change things.
Then again maybe I just think that because I think everyone should ALWAYS have sex before marrying the person. You might as well buy a house without ever seeing it. Sheesh.
Good for you
she is still a he. you can call yourself anything you want but in the end your dna says you are a man. just like you can dye your hair every color in the book, the roots are still going to be what you are born with. people need to stop living a lie.
@thisiswhereItellyoueverything@xanga - That's precisely one of my arguments in favor of waiting. If you wait you have no basis for comparison, so sex will always be a wonderful experience. Sexual compatibility is a non-issue for people who love each other. If you have to "test drive" someone you don't truly love them, you just love sex.
@sweetpoops@xanga - I DARE you to say that to any transsexual. I personally do not understand what it's like to be born in the wrong body because I don't feel that way, but talking to Jenna has helped me to understand a little bit. Whether you want to admit it or not people are born into the wrong bodies sometimes. As I said, I reject the notion that gender is determined by DNA. Your gender is how you identify and what/who you feel you truly are.
I applaud you for being able to see past that. I don't know that I could do it myself, the world definitely needs more people like you!
And....not wanting kids does NOT make you an asshole. Seriously, people are fucking idiots. I have two kids...and I love them dearly, but I can definitely understand why someone would opt to NOT deal with what I deal with everyday, lmao.
Best of luck!
@StatelessPilot@revelife - whatever you need to tell yourself in order to justify your feelings for a man. I think you need to accept yourself.