Monday, 05 September 2011
-
Is 9 Months Too Long to Wait? Sex During Pregnancy
I've been wondering about what my future may hold. Kids, no kids. Adopt, all natural. Housewife, career woman. My SO and I both agree that we want children eventually. But there is one thing we don't agree on...
Should there be any sex involved during a woman's pregnancy?
I can't speak for how I'll feel if/when I'm pregnant, but for the time being, I say...hell yes there should be. In most cases, I've read that sex won't harm your baby and that the only time to possibly refrain is during the last few weeks (whether or not it's necessary seems to vary by doctor). That still gives you several months to enjoy your final pre-parenting moments. In theory (I'm not at this stage yet and can't say fully) it seems like a beautiful and even erotic idea.My SO, on the other hand, feels like it's almost a taboo subject. He seems afraid that he may hurt the fetus and, worst case scenario, give him/her permanent damage. Although he isn't disgusted by the idea (more afraid, it seems), he doesn't seem to be gung ho about it either.What do our Datingish women think? Would you/have you had sex during your pregnancy? Why or why not?Datingish men, would you be willing to have sex while she's expecting? Why or why not?Do you know anyone whose had complications due to intercourse during pregnancy? What happened?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: xcrownedhopeless
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 4 Views: 0 15747 Comments: 0 142 View all posts by xcrownedhopeless
Comments (52)
I have to laugh when men seem to think they could somehow injure the fetus with their penis. It's not that long, guys. Lol. As long as you're not crushing the lady and your doctor hasn't specifically said no sex, it is normal and encouraged behavior.
Since I've been pregnant my sex life has decreased dramatically. My husband is all for it, but with all the hormones pumping through my body and constantly feeling like it's time to take a nap, I just haven't been interested in a romp between the sheets. I have nothing against it though. Sex during pregnancy is perfectly natural and even promoted for women who have gone over their due date.
Obviously you are going to have to communicate with your SO about how they're feeling about it and make sure you're on the same page.
I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it, though!
I wish more people understood the female anatomy better. The penis could be 12 inches long and wouldn't hit the baby. The vaginal canal (where the penis is inserted) is pretty much a tube with a plug at the end. The plug has a pin sized hole in it (that during different parts of your cycle expands and contracts to let blood flow out/sperm in/eggs out, etc) this is also what lets the baby out, by expanding to 10cm. This "plug" is called the cervix and is about 3 to 5 cm long, and it is made out of a fairly strong tissue. Because of this, it protects a baby-- no matter how long you've been pregnant. That baby is not getting touched by a penis, period.
In all honesty, there's no way I could go nine months without sex. So he'd better be okay with it. *lol* But I haven't heard of complications from sex, and there's no way for him to get anywhere close to the baby during sex. Unless he finds a way to get past your cervix, I think you're good. Honestly, your doctor will be able to tell you if you should refrain from sex, otherwise, have at it!
-Katie
Show him this diagram, and have him read this page.
The only possible way his penis would hit a fetus in the uterus is if he managed to go through your cervix, and amniotic fluid/mucous membranes will protect it from his semen. It's considered safe to have sex during pregnancy; the concerns seem to be more with what's awkward (especially during third trimester) and the mother's changing sex drive.
I have had 4 children and I have always found that my sex drive has been amped up to "want it all the time" levels. I found that as my body went through new changes the sensations differed and made sex more of an adventure. I think each person is different but there is no way just normal sex can harm the fetus AND sex towards the end helps get things ready for natural child birth..
There's really nothing wrong with being intimate during a pregnancy. It's all a matter of the comfort level. I didn't mind having sex in the beginning (because I wasn't really showing yet), however, when I got much bigger, aound 6 months, I just didn't feel comfortable having sex anymore. My husband didn't mind but I just didn't feel attractive being that big and not to mention how uncomfortable it is to move from position to position. I kind of regret it now because I just had my son, and I want it more than ever, but I have to wait at least 6 weeks before we can engage in anything.
When you get horny, even one minute is too long to wait.
There are only a few reasons you shouldn't have sex during pregnancy and your doctor will let you know when that is. Sperm has the ability to cause preterm labor, but only if your body is ready. So yes, having sex while you're pregnant could potentially be a problem, but most of the time it's harmless. Not only can a penis NOT get passed a closed cervix, the baby is also inside the uterus. He could try for days and not even come close to touching the baby.
You should give him a diagram of your vagina, and explain that his penis wouldn't be able to fit through the cervix. Besides, you obviously won't need a condom because you won't be getting pregnant again
Put emphasis on the idea of
CONDOMLESS SEX. lol
Chances are, he will be having sex with a pregnant woman in the very beginning without even knowing it. Hopefully this gets him over his fear. If not, then he better be willing to have lots of foreplay.
If she (my wife) is in the 1st trimester then maybe I could do it-but after that then it gets too weird with the baby growing and her uterus getting bigger. While I was working in OBGYN I actually saw a lady who was about 34 wks pregnant who told us she was intimate with her SO. When we took a sample of her amniotic fluid and looked at it under the microscope it had some sperm cells in it-so sex during pregnancy is definitely not unheard of.
I think it is the rocking motion as if riding on a boat that might seem a tad dangerous, but if she just lays there and he holds her steady, then it seems safe>_<
Yes.
I did think about this before back when I was with my ex but we were way too far from even marriage and children to really talk about it :S I'm with what everyone else said, doubt it'd do damage, your bf should do some more research 'cause his claims aren't really backed up..
Your SO has very healthy self-esteem.
Sex during pregnancy is perfectly fine and actually beneficial, even at the end (unless you have certain complications). With both my kids, my doctor told me to have lots of sex in the final weeks because semen softens the cervix and any sort of activity is helpful to induce labor. Of course, both times I told her she was crazy, I couldn't even lay down comfortably much less "perform". Sex was the last thing I wanted, but seeing as my biggest need was getting the giant baby out of me, I tried. It was not fun and did NOT induce my labor.
But for you two, I would say first off, wait to think about this until you are actually pregnant or trying. Your doctor can talk to your husband about sex during pregnancy to reassure him that it's safe. However, if the idea makes him that uncomfortable, you should respect it. If he can't get it up then you know it is just not something he can do and you shouldn't make him feel bad about it no matter how hormonal and upset you are about it. BUT, there are things besides intercourse that he should be ok with as long as he is truthful that he isn't any less attracted to you. Oral is great during pregnancy and a lot easier to do once you start getting big. It's important to maintain the physical connection during pregnancy.
Unless his penis is a foot long, I'm sure you'll have nothing to worry about.
My boyfriend can't wait until I'm pregnant, haha. And it's not because he wants kids...
Yes, I would have sex when I'm pregnant and I'm sure my husband would like the idea too.
um yeah there's no way i'm going to choose to be abstinent for 9 months, that just won't happen. i imagine it'd suck though the last few months when you're huge...
I have not gotten pregnant yet, but I do not plan on abstaining when I do. As long as my husband isn't against it and my doctor advises that I can, why we not? I'd be already pregnant! One might have to find different positions, but I do believe a pregnant woman and her partner can find satisfying positions to enjoy during this time in their life.
I've had two kids & had sex throughout both of my pregnancies the WHOLE time. Especially during the end to try to go into labor lol. The only reason you would refrain in the end is if your doctor said something was wrong & you shouldnt be.
It really annoys me when guys think they can hurt a baby by having sex. Learn your friggen anatomy! Between the vaginal opening and the uterus there is this thing called the cervix. During pregnancy it is closed. Even when not pregnant, no penis can reach through the cervix all the way to the uterus. It is physically impossible!
Most people don't realize this, but sex is actually really beneficial during pregnancy, especially in the last few months. "As your pregnancy advances, assuming you don't have a history of
premature labor, sex can help get you ready for labor and delivery.
Semen contains prostaglandins which can help your cervix ripen. Having
lots of sex near the end of your pregnancy is good for your cervix and
continued orgasms can help keep the muscles in your uterus in tip-top
shape."
That quote was taken from this site: http://www.pregnancy-info.net/benefits-of-sex-in-pregnancy.htm