This is tough, it's hard not to have feelings for someone that gave you a child, inevitably the most important thing to you.  BUT, you have to think about the lack of respect that he has shown you since the break up.  You AND your daughter both deserve someone who is going to love and respect you unconditionally.  If he wants to be part of his daughters life, he has every right to do so...but don't think for a minute that he deserves to be part of your life beyond that.  You're young, don't sell yourself short.  Wait for someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.

@wretched_epiphany@xanga - agreed!

LISTEN TO THOSE TWO^^^

it's rare but people do change sometimes and regret things they've done in the past. actions speak louder than words. he is the father and you should give him a chance to at least prove to you he can be a good father. just keep a close eye on him, and if he proves to be the same ass he was...well at least you gave him a chance to prove otherwise. as far as your relationship with him...first see what kind of father he is and then go from there...

He does have a right to see his child as he is the father, but you have to ask yourself if he is responsible enough and if it's in your daughter's best interests. Maybe you two won't have a relationship with each other, but your daughter has every right to decide whether or not she would like a relationship with her father for herself when she is old enough to decide so. This is assuming that he is genuinely interested in being a proper father, of course. In short, this isn't just about you and how you feel anymore; you have your child to take into consideration as well and what's best for her.

Maybe I'm being too objective here, and I'll admit that I don't know the whole story, but maybe the news was too much, too soon for him and he freaked. He wasn't (isn't?) ready for that type of responsibility, and, to me, it's not surprising. No teenager should be having to tackle parenthood, but that's just my opinion. I'm not judging or anything in saying that. My opinion here doesn't excuse his poor behavior or what he said, of course. It could be just that his parents are making him take responsibility for his actions, or maybe it could be that the reality has sunken in and he's calmed down and taken a more rational approach.

Maybe he genuinely wants to be a father to his daughter. Maybe he doesn't. You have to judge that for yourself. Unbiasedly. What I mean is, you can't make a decision based on your feelings alone. You should talk to someone older, mature, and who has experience in this type of situation, and you shouldn't bring your friends into something that has nothing to do with them.

He may be the father, but he's also someone who broke off a relationship with you abruptly.  While he has every right to his child, I think it's important to establish what kind of relationship the two of you want to have first and what kind of role can he commit to in this child's life before letting him and your little girl get too close.  The reason being what if she starts to get attached to him and he decides to suddenly run off without disclosing any reasons?

Having seen someone I know been through many different relationships, her child growing up with a constantly changing parent, I have also seen the hurt the child constantly had to go through, forming close bonds and then having them ripped apart in an instant.  Nobody, especially a child, should have to go through that.

As to your unrequited feelings, it's only natural because he was your first.  Unfortunately, you do have a child to care for now, so you must mature more quickly and accept that unrequited as your feelings may be, you must consider the more practical aspects of love and relationships.  To while away your days pining for someone who cannot return your feelings is a luxury that is no longer affordable, I'm afraid.

Weigh your pros and cons, and always keep what is best for both your child and yourself in mind.  Good luck!

It's a doubly whammy girl...  you're not abnormal for feeling the way you do.  First, you lost your virginity to him and he was your first love.  Many of us carry unfinished feelings for our first.  Then, you had a child with him.  Of COURSE you have feelings for him. 

But..snap out of it......this is your life and your childs life.  Don't let your emotions and unfinished emotional business override your good sense.  Do what is right for that little one, and let the rest fall into place.  :)

I think woman tends to be more of a emotional being. While movies always tell us to “ follow ur heart’ I think it’s more wise if we ( women ) learn to listen to both our heart and our brains! A good balance of logical and emotional decision is the better decision because we’re all human, it’s impossible to turn off the emotional and just be logical, but you can’t let your impulses run your life either. Your life needs to be organized.