This post is in response to all the posts about what love really is.
What is love? A lot of people say that it's a feeling, and that is partly true. A lot of people say it's a learning experience, and that's true too, but what a lot of people are missing is a really huge chunk of what love truly is. Yes, love is a learning experience. You learn about yourself, your SO, etc. Yes, it can come with butterflies (depending on the person), and it will most likely come with the mushy, gushy, puppy love feeling for a while (depending on the couple).
But, love is an action. That's the part that a lot of people miss. And along with being an action, love is a choice.
It may be a subconscious choice, it may be an actual thought out choice.
For me in the beginning it was a subconscious choice. I was in another relationship, but for some reason I just kept thinking about this other guy. There was something about him that just kept puling me back to him, and in the end I chose to end the relationship I was in (not for the other guy, but because we were going in two completely different directions, we didn't have the same values and beliefs about some very important things, and I honestly think I would have done some things that I would have regretted had I stayed with him).
Then this other guy and I started talking more, online, on the phone, in person. We just couldn't stay away from each other. He asked me out (about two months after I ended my previous relationship) for our first date and I was absolutely ecstatic and completely in love with someone I had been talking to for not that long. He felt the exact same way. But now (2 and a half years later) I'm still completely in love with him, I don't think I can change that.
And I love him because I want to love him, and because I know he is the man that God picked specifically for me before I was even born or thought about. Yes it gets hard sometimes, but does that give me a reason to give up on him? Absolutely not! Why should I be the one to mess with God's Will for my life? Yes it's my life, but it's the life that God gave me.
This is a really short post, but I think it really encompasses what love really is (from what I've learned in life and from God). And once you've found that man that you're going to marry and love for the rest of your life (sorry this is for wives only. I haven't written a post about husbands, mainly because I don't think it's my place.) I really encourage you to read my post about how to be a
wonderful wife to your husband.
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Comments (18)
Awesome post.
I can foresee the hate from others for you writing that he's part of God's will for your life, but I completely understand this. I met a guy about 3 months ago, and I already love him a lot, and have that feeling that God brought him into my life. I've been struggling with the thought that I shouldn't feel like this, but reading that you two have been together for 2 1/2 years now tells me that I should go with my instinct, and that this relationship could be a wonderful thing. My SO tells me all the time that love is a choice, one that he'll make every day as long as I do. Good post!
I feel the same way about my boyfriend. I've had three serious relationships, and this is the first time that I've felt, from the beginning, that it's meant to be. Everything about us fits so well together. We haven't had any huge fights, but I know that when we do, I'm willing to fight for him, and I will never give up, ever, no matter what, I want to conquer everything with him, and I think that's love. :)
I'm just going to say it.
"I was in another relationship, but for some reason I just kept thinking about this other guy. There was something about him that just kept pulling me back to him.."
A little emotionally unfaithful on your part, but at least you didn't act on it 'til 2 months after your previous relationship ended. Not hating or anything, just pointing it out.
@lforletty@xanga - I'll agree with you on this. I never thought about it in that way, but now that you have said something, I can see it. But, at the same time, that was kind of God's way of telling me that he had something better for me than I had planned. And I'm okay with that.
My first boyfriend (the one I broke up with 2ish months before I started dating my current boyfriend) was unfaithful to me in the same way. I also wouldn't be surprised if he told me that he had physically cheated on me. I'm not saying that that voids my thoughts and actions at all.
I've been feeling that God brought me together with a man-a friend-but I don't know if that means God wants us to marry or be friends. I don't think this guy wants romance with me. am praying on this. This guy's religiously confused and doesn't know what he believes.I pray for him so much. I want him in heaven with me!!Please pray!!@pnigophobicpk@xanga -
@T3hZ10n@xanga - Thanks
@pnigophobicpk@xanga - Yea. Unfortunately, we have to go through that kind of persecution. But that should by no means stop us from sharing the good news and God's Word.
@HollowTendencies@xanga - It's an amazing feeling isn't it?
@anne3 - Absolutely. I'll be praying for both of you.
@xhalesx@revelife - Ah ic, I remember pointing this out the last time you wrote a post too and both of us discussing having gone through being cheated on in some other post. Just curious, but is this ex that you're referring to, the one who you said emotionally cheated on you before? If so, then no sympathy for him.
Although I am not that into organized religion, I do believe in a soul mate. What's important is that you found a love that you and your partner are dedicated to, no matter what condition you are in, and no matter what happens. Thank you for your post.
@lforletty@xanga - Yep. That's the one.
@guest - Thanks for the feedback. And you're welcome.
I agree with you that love is an action. I was always taught that love is a verb. My parents have been together 26 years and my dad had a failed marriage before my mom. He tells me every year that they have had so many years together and it isn't easy but he is willing to work 26 plus more years. I don't really know about that whole "God's will" thing, but I am happy for you. People don't understand that relationships are work. They require sacrifices (to an extent) and compromise. There will be times when you don't feel in love with that person any more, and times when the littlest thing will make your realize what made you fall in love with them in the first place. A lot of people in this generation seem to mix "in love" for "love." In love is a temporary feeling. Love is a verb.
@ThaPlatinumOne@xanga - I can tell you for sure that it is God's Will. For sure. I have seen God's will made evident in my life so many times. Sometimes it's hard to tell. When I was deciding whether to stay in Chicago for school or move back home and go to the community school, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. In those situations you're just supposed to pray and choose. And that's what I did. I decided to move back home. And at first my decision seemed selfish to me, but now I see why God brought me back home.
love = choice. action.
agree.
true love is sacrifice
@MiSS__NARA@xanga - ...which is a choice and an action.
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