Tuesday, 30 August 2011
So this guy and I have been seeing each other for about 5 months. If I allowed for it to be "official," we'd basically be going out already.
When we starting seeing each other around the end of August (he broke up with her at the end of July after a year and a half relationship, being each other's first) he would always tell me that he hated her, and that he didn't go places because he didn't want to see her or be around her. That's why I basically assumed that they just didn't talk any more.
Recently, after doing some snooping (unfortunately), I found out that they were still talking while he starting being "interested" in me, even though he would passionately tell me that he wanted nothing to do with her anymore.
Without my knowledge, somewhere in October/November, he showed up at her house and asked her to come out but she wasn't allowed to. He also began texting her. And even worse, he would talk to her whenever we got into arguments. We've gone days and at most a week not talking to each other over a disagreement.
I asked him about it. I told him to tell me if he still had feelings for his ex or not, but he says that he doesn't even like her one bit and wants nothing to do with her in that sort of way. But then when I asked him why he showed up at her house, he said it was because "she was on the way home." That's really not a good excuse and makes no sense to me. It's not in line with "how much he doesn't want anything to do with her."
Right after, I asked him why he still talked to her and texted her, he said he's just "dicking around." He doesn't like being around her but he doesn't mind just chatting with her in a "plain" manner. However, the frustrating thing is that she's still completely in love with him. That makes me super uncomfortable.
His words clearly don't match up with his actions, so what should I believe? Should I believe that he really wants nothing to do with her and that he was just "dicking around?" I know he wouldn't cheat on me... but do you think he actually is still missing her, or using her as a rebound whenever I'm not around? Almost like he's trying to keep her around just in case we mess up?
What would you do?