Monday, 29 August 2011
-
Don't Be a Douche to Her Best Friends
My best friend, Ellie, has been dating her boyfriend, Liam, for just over 6 months. They go to the same college. Because I go to school several hours from Ellie, I didn't get to meet him for a couple of weeks. My first impression was great. It was clear to me that he cares about her so much. He's not a cheater, he's a gentleman, he's intelligent, and they seemed to fit well together. Their personalities were compatible.This is all still true, but the longer they're dating the more it pisses me off. Ellie is a serial dater. She's always had boyfriends. She's never had a boyfriend with whom she seemed to drop off the face of the earth. She disappears for days and we don't hear from her until she returns home and tells us she's been with him. She bases her schedule largely off of his. I have probably seen her 10 times in the almost 4 months I've been home for the summer.
It's not fair to say I'm jealous. The truth is, I'm really not. I have other friends and I'm in a relationship of my own. I kept my frustrations to myself until about a week or so ago. I was having coffee with a couple of my (and Ellie's) friends. Someone else brought up the fact that ever since she started dating Liam, she's sort of forgotten that she has friends.
I think this wouldn't bother me so much if I still liked Liam as much as I originally did. However, the last interaction I had with him really bothered me. A couple of days ago, I went to a concert with Ellie, Liam, and my roommate. A few days before the concert, Liam texted me to ask about tailgating. We're all just under 21 (and I'd be driving), so I said I thought it was a bad idea. In my opinion, Gavin Degraw, Train, and Maroon 5 aren't exactly "yeah, let's get shitfaced!" bands. He got pissy at me for saying no and basically made it seem like he was going to bring booze with him anyway... in my car. Whatever.
So, on the day of the show our plan was to run out to Panera and pick up food together. Then, we'd tailgate and eat our food down at the concert when we got there. About 30 minutes before I was supposed to go get them, Liam texts me (not Ellie, but Liam) to say "We have a lot of stuff to do, so we're eating here." No apology for leaving me hanging. No, "thanks anyway." It kind of ticked me off. Plus, it left me to deal with food on my own.
Once at the show, he was (as he pretty much always does) trying to get all bro with me. Seriously? You piss me off twice in a few days. You're my best friend's boyfriend. Now you're going to try to be my buddy? It's just obnoxious.
How do you feel about your best friend's SO?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: TheDailyDane
- About Me: I'm Dane and I'm 20. Follow me on Twitter @danefeldman. I am a huge supporter of long-term relationships. What's the fun in knowing something will end in a week? Stick around for some long-term bloggin'.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 82 Views: 0 280949 Comments: 0 2595 View all posts by TheDailyDane
Comments (7)
I know what you're saying and I agree with you -- he was being pretty rude, and it is common courtesy to ask for permission or apologize before completely changing everyone else's plans.. but the part when you said: "She bases her schedule largely off of his. I have probably seen her 10 times in the almost 4 months I've been home for the summer."
I think when people get into relationships, they naturally will spend more time with their significant other than with their friends. As long as they maintain a balance with friends and family, and they aren't spending every waking second with each other, I think it's okay. Personally, I think 10 times is actually a good amount of time that she's seen you. I have school and work, and I also don't have a car (nor do I like asking people for rides), so it's hard for me to go to places with friends. But of course, it all depends on everyone's personal situations.. especially since you mention that she's your best friend. It sounds like you two are (or were) very close.
My best friend's SO is my bro, so I can't really complain. Besides I 'dropped' a barbell on his chin the time when he was bench-pressing (he's my sometimes gym buddy).
@katya_pobedovna@xanga - OUCH!
The older people get, the harder it is to find time to hang out. People have jobs, college, and business/meetings to do. I've been trying to reach my best friend for a month now trying to get him to hang out 'cuz I'm back in town. He's been sick, but also busy with work, hanging out with gf, and his own problems. But if they're your real friends, they'll always be your friend.
Ha I have a habit of basing my schedule off of my boyfriend's. Well I did, until he went to college. I've moved to so many different places so I don't usually make really close friends. So I guess I don't really have these problems with my best friend's SO. My best friend, Isabella, moved to California and she's the only friend I have who hasn't dated once.
Didn't someone wise once say that if your boyfriend is worthy of you, he'll understand, and if your friends are worthy of you, they'll understand too?
When I make my week's schedule, the priority is in this order - university, work, boyfriend and friends, household-chores-that-I-really-should-be-doing-but-know-I-probably-won't-do-in-the-end-anyway. Unless my boyfriend is going away on work soon, usually he and my friends are on the same place priority-wise. Because when he does go, I get allll the time in the world to me and my homeboys/homegirls.
I really dislike my former bff's bf. She's still my good friend but we're just not on that level of closeness anymore which is due to other problems not related to the bf, but the bf definitely contributed a lot to the falling of our friendship. I just saw the dude today and we were fake to each other. I feel like if it weren't for that friend, we would've ripped each other apart already.
I'm not his biggest fan, but I don't have much against him. I've never really like him as a person though. But I don't judge, their relationship is between the two of them. And I don't get involved so long as he does nothing to hurt her.