Thursday, 25 August 2011
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Regrets
I wonder if regret can be a good thing. I know you can't change the past, but sometimes you can fix mistakes you made, if you decide they were indeed mistakes.
It's been about three-fourths of a year since I made the decision that resulted in the biggest change of my short two-decade life. For a long time after that change, I promised myself that I would not look back, and I kept that promise pretty well. Eventually, though, it became impossible, and I found myself "what-if"ing. So I decided that it was okay to look back, and reassure myself that things were better this way. As long as I didn't regret. And now, I'm looking back, and I can't help but regret.
I ended my first relationship ever, believing that he didn't love me enough, and that we simply could not be. After that, I spent six months longer than I should have in a six month abusive relationship. A relationship which finally left me in a situation that I can't just run away from, at least not til nine months are up.
What if, what if, what if.
Now I wonder what if I had, what if I decide to, what should I choose? Was the last choice the wrong choice, does it even matter anymore?
I told myself that I do not regret because every decision made me who I am today.
But what if I don't like who I am today? And what if regret helps me choose my future?
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About the Author
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- From: enoughtodiefor@xanga
- Name: Lia
- About Me: I just want to write. Some things you can't say to people you know.
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Comments (11)
Don't regret it - learn from it. That can mean either moving on in a completely new direction, or fixing a past mistake.
i don't have many regrets in life, but the ones i do have torment me (almost) every single day.
i'm surprised that there's not more comments to this. i feel like this is something with which everyone can identify.
Don't regret it, but it certainly sounds like you miss your old relationship. Maybe you should try to get back together with him after working out the issues you had with the relationship initially.
Imo it's impossible to not regret to a certain degree when you eventually learn that you made a mistake. Just make sure that regret doesn't take over your life and make you dwellin your past. Use it positively to avoid making the same or similar mistake again.
well if you want the mentality of someone on the receiving end of it:
if he truly cared then, he most likely still does. i'm not sure what the terms of your break were, but if he wanted to work it out and you decided to ignore him, then you deserve your outcome. if he took your reply and just left, without even trying to resolve it, he most likely didn't care that much, in which case it was an ok call. if you can dump him, dump this current guy if he's really abusive.
my 2 cents
Honesly, the note in the picture was a great way of looking at things...
I regret not being the person I am today 6 months ago. I was constantly stubborn and depressed with my life and took it out on my ex. We had so many problems, but we were so in love and a while back, seemed like we both wanted to make it work. We fought constantly... I expected us to be like the movies. I expected him to act like the movies if he really loved me. We had insecurity issues and I had major jealousy issues, especially when we both went to different colleges. We broke up for good about 6 months ago and he hasn't looked back since. After a few weeks of last seeing him, he already had a new girlfriend I fell into a deep state of depression at that time and began to drink a lot which led to me harassing him without end. I believe they are still together. He sees me as part of a miserable time in his life. It hurts a lot that the first single girl he found is much more amazing than I was.
I changed a lot from this experience and matured so much. I fixed every issue that he had a problem with. The thing is, I lost him for good. I am happy with who I am for the first time in my life, but in return I lost the love of my life. We were together for over 3 1/2 years and had plans of getting married. Now he won't even talk to me. I really fucked it up.I regret not taking his advice much longer ago. I regret not being a better person. I regret not getting help sooner. I regret taking him for granted. I regret not being a better girlfriend. I regret all of the things I said. It haunts me every second of every day.
I often flop back and forth about whether or not I regret my last relationship.There were good times in that relationship, but the bad times certainly outweighed those good ones. Especially when it was abusive. I would just take it as a lesson to learn from and then use it to know what you want in the future.
I think the 'no regrets' thinking was thought up by someone who was at the end of a difficult road, not the beginning. Basically, we all go through difficult times, it's our choices that determine how many, when, and how difficult they are. Sometimes a life difficulty can break you down, forcing you to build yourself back up, stronger.
The vast majority of life situations can be made the best of in the future, especially if you learn from what you regret in your past. But don't spend too long regretting, because that's looking back. Take action. Move forward. Things will work out.
Do you still love your ex? Does he still love you? Is he still single? Maybe there is a way to fix it if you find that you love him more and regret what you did.
that's completely right, the decisions you made back then has shaped you to be the person you are today. i often think this too bc there was one point in my life that i was regretful. it made me worry about a lot of things and it made me be someone i didn't like at all. then i realized that if i didn't go through what i went through, i would never be who i am today.