Wednesday, 24 August 2011
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Gay Student Frowns Upon Himself
Remember Nell? Yeah, she was the one who is currently seeing a 31 year old. Well, she has a friend, Jake, who goes to college with her. Jake is gay, from New Mexico, and awkwardly enough he's super into his Christian faith. Jake thinks it's wrong that he is gay.This has caused a lot of problems for him. He struggles in his relations with both men and women because of his internal problems. His family doesn't know he's gay-- his brother (who is supposedly tight with) doesn't even know. Jake doesn't often hook up and he has not yet had a boyfriend. He seemingly openly accepts his sexuality. He doesn't act "straight" nor does he attempt to cover it up around his friends. Yet, Jake has a hard time with it himself. Being that he is a devout Christian, Jake truly believes he himself will go to Hell for his sexuality.
Personally, I've met many people who aren't straight and who have families who frown upon that. Jake is the first person I've met who believes firmly in his religion despite his sexuality. I suppose it happens more often than we know and that, many times, people in Jake's situation might tend not to come out at all. Perhaps it is people like Jake who pretend to be straight their whole lives. They marry the opposite sex, they have a family, and they remain unhappy and under the radar.
Do you know anybody like Jake? Are you like Jake? Have you ever dated someone like Jake?
How do you feel about Jake's beliefs: is he wrong to think he'll go to Hell? Is he right?
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- From: TheDailyDane
- About Me: I'm Dane and I'm 20. Follow me on Twitter @danefeldman. I am a huge supporter of long-term relationships. What's the fun in knowing something will end in a week? Stick around for some long-term bloggin'.
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Comments (30)
Learning to accept one's self is definitely a challenge. I hope his family and friends are supportive of him.
Recognizing sin in one's life doesn't mean he's going to hell. There's grace for that.
That's terrible. I hope there is some way he can reconcile his beliefs with his sexuality. There are plenty of people who will tell him there is nothing wrong with being gay (as there are, unfortunately, also people who will tell him it is), but it doesn't do a thing if he can't cope with it.
@LoBornlytesThoughtPalace@xanga - I am truly touched by that comment. Kudos.
humans were made to sin. we all do it because its in our nature. the better he understands that, the quicker he will accept himself. he cant hate himself for liking men, no way to live. i hope your friend gets over the idea of hell fire and starts to accept himself. =)
"awkwardly enough he's super into his Christian faith."
I dislike this...I don't think it's awkward or strange at all that he's into his faith. I am a Christian who also happens to be a woman in love with a woman. Please don't perpetuate the stereotype that all LGBT people are atheists.
I hope he does come to terms with who he is and what this means for his faith. I have always accepted my sexuality as part of who I am, and I have a hard time believing that God would make me this way if it is wrong.
How could he be go to hell for loving someone else... Isn't Jesus Christ love and accepted any Christianity?
@nyclegodesi24@xanga - "sin" / "hell" / "grace."
That's what Carlin referred to as "spooky language." In other words, it's myth-talk, nonsense, ass-backwardness.
Might as well be talking about Mt. Olympus, Hades, and things like that. Oh, wait! Hades and the xtian hell are just different versions of the same myth. Of course...it's all man-made and imitated from one culture to the next. That should be obvious.
@Its2011NottheMiddleAges - No fucking shit!
There is nothing wrong with being gay. Period. If that's who you are, then that's who you are. No amount of prayer, therapy, etc. can change that. It's hard tO accept yourself and what you deem personal flaws, but it'll make you happier in the long run. It took me a long time to come to terms with my sexuality (I've always identified as primarily straight but I'm slowly discovering I'm more bi than I thought and maybe even pansexual; I still have yet to really figure out my sexuality). However, whatever I discover it to be, I've decided I'm ok with it. It's a hard step, but it's so worth it.
That is odd. I'd be too uncomfortable to want to study and practice a religion that viewed my sexuality as a sin if I were a lesbian. There are other, more important things to focus on rather than what gender people are into
I never tell people what my religion is because I want them to judge me from the deeds I do and from my personality, not whether or not I believe in a specific God or Goddess.
I think that Jake should love himself for who he is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with basing your beliefs on Christianity, but living a life thinking that you're living a sin just isn't a life worth living.
@Mushka - I completely agree with you. It's what I wanted to say but you worded it much better than I could have done!
@Its2011NottheMiddleAges - Grace is another word for umerited love. I'm sure there's nothing spooky about that. Sin is a word we use to describe our relational disconnect with God, our failure in keeping our obligations, and a condition that inclines us away from being good. If there's anything spooky about that, it's only in relation to our belief in God. Hell is the absence of God and goodness. These things are entailed by our beliefs in God, and will appear spooky to anyone who doesn't share those assumptions. If you don't share those assumptions, I'm not surprised why you should feel spooked.
i really pity him. a huge part of why i stopped being Christian was because i could not tolerate believing in a deity that would send me to Hell simply because someone didn't believe in him. even if i might have been saved, i couldn't support a belief system that judged others so hatefully.
I think Jake's problems of self-hate and Jake's religious views, though intertwined in some way, are separate issues. I hope Jake can learn to be loving and accepting of himself, and however he feels about his Christianity once he has begun that journey is however he feels about it.
Please tell Jake he will not go to hell for feeling attracted to men. Tell him not to hate himself cause Jesus doesn't hate him. nor is he angry with him. Jesus appreciates that he is trying to follow your faith. The problem comes with what he does, is he going out with guys? is he having pre-marital sex with any gender?
So tell him relax God loves his attempts. Tell him to keep praying God will answer him. It will take time but he can do it. TELL HIM WE"LL BE PRAYING FOR HIM!!!!
I don't think God/Jesus will send Jake to hell because he is attracted to men. Then God/Jesus wouldn't be omnipotent or all loving-- if anything, Jesus/God allowed Jake to be who he is... and he really shouldn't perpetuate his self-hate because his sexuality. God will love you whether you're straight or gay. Because God loves everyone. Isn't that the way it goes?
I lost my faith when I had an illness when I was 19. The whole Christian belief that God may be testing me to be stronger when something bad happens or it's the will of God that granted me grace when something good happens did not work with me at the time, still doesn't.
Religion should comfort and help Jake feel good. Not bad because he fears going to HELL for being gay.
It saddens me to think about how many people must feel this way. I was raised Catholic, but I don't consider myself Catholic. I personally don't believe in Hell (well, what Christians believe it to be) and I'm even not so sure about the idea of sins (of course, there are terrible things people do, there is "right" and "wrong", etc., but I've been taught about sins in a way that made me feel as though there's a long list of rules that we all needed to follow or else, you know, off to Hell we go, and that's just ridiculous to me). So, no, I don't believe he is "going to Hell", for two reasons: based on my beliefs, people don't just get thrown into Hell like that, and based on THE TRUTH, he is NOT WRONG for being gay. Until there's proof that gay people are all secretly part of some army controlled by Satan that's meant to destroy the world [insert eyeroll], I'm sticking by the fact that gay people are (*gasp*) just people and NOT a threat to the morality or future of our society.
Since being "gay" has never been the sin but the acts of gayness, he's probably good for the most part, just pray for forgiveness about the hook ups. Even then, God doesn't hate guys kissing over guys, just dicks up the ass. I like to think sleeping with another dude is along there with having sex out of wedlock. But I'm not a Christian, so I'm not too worried about it and I can't REALLY interpret the whole thing in a serious manner. If he wants to go along with a religion that tells him being gay is wrong and believe it himself, he probably should just be celibate and tada, no hell! I think that would be unhealthy, but hey, that's what you get when you are gay and want to worship a god that says you can't do anything about it.
@IWillLiftMyEyes@xanga - Just out of curiosity, how is it that you feel intact with your faith and with homosexuality given the passages in the Bible that speak against it? What are your explanations for Romans 1 and the fact that God made two genders?
I'm sick of people acting as if gay people just chose to be gay. I think if I were gay and I received all the hatred and wrath of bible beaters, I'd probably wish I wasn't gay. Science has now proven that there is, in fact, a gay gene. I'm sure this is MUCH easier said than done, but I hope that the homosexual community will now be able to look past the spiteful comments of (
some, I'm like to think some christians are open-minded) people who blindly believe what a book tells them to believe. In the bible, it also says that homosexuality is an abomination, but also on this list of abomination includes, associating with women on their periods, associating with women who wear pants, eating shrimp, etc. It's irony that we pick and choose which we will agree with and which we don't agree with based on what we do and what we were now born into (homosexuality).
It's time for you to realized that YOU are NOT wrong. You were born this way, this is the natural state of YOU. Don't let someone who believes otherwise (who most likely learned this ignorance through their parents) tell you that you will burn in hell for all of eternity.tell jake to get to know GOD on a personal level - as his FATHER. tell him to stop listening to man's warped sense of christianity. would a loving father send his child to hell over a decision that comes from the heart? god does NOT do that nor is god bound by laws or legalisms. the answer for jake is to get the hell away from church until he can have a relationship with god personally.
First, Jake needs to pray and get around some non-judgmental folks. If he is truly a believer then he should feel good that God loves him despite himself. It doesn't do him any good to walk around feeling guilty, doesn't he know who he is? Yes, I'm sure it doesn't feel good to have urges to sin against God, but in my understanding it's only homosexual ACTS that are a sin. Furthermore, we all have urges to sin against God. We have urges to lie, cheat, steal, sleep around, cheat on our spouses, and everything else under the sun. Homosexuals are not beyond God's grace and/or love. Jake will not burn in hell forever if he is committed to loving God and keeping his commandments. He has to learn to forgive himself as God has already done. He needs to know that he is not alone and God sees his struggle. God has not given him over to a reprobate mind to be ruled by his sin, so he is in better shape than he probably believes. I serve a God that is not bound by the laws and judgments of man. God is the only one that truly sees me how I am and loves me still. He sees that I am trying. He sees Jake, too.
God could change that for jake if he so believed and desired and as long as Jake has a relationship with Jesus he should make it to heaven. There's only 2 things that God doesn't forgive, grieving the holy spirit and taking the mark of the beast.
Before I start getting hate mail let me be clear on my stance on homosexuality. Like Jake I believe it's wrong but I also think it's none of my damn business and Jesus loves gay people just the same and it's wrong for me to judge, condemn or force laws that are against it on to gay people. It's your choice and I have no right to stop you.