Monday, 22 August 2011
They're everywhere and it makes me want to throw up in my mouth, swallow it back down, and feel the sting of internal hatred as it burns slowly down my stomach and leaks into the esophagus like acid reflux, but more vile. If baby-punching were legal, it would be the catalyst to a furious fit of rage within nursery walls. I'd go world-wide and spread the glorious, thick crimson paint of my wrath across the Equator just to watch it sizzle and dry under solar rays. All will know that Communism = suck-up, and nobody likes a suck-up.
I'm not really angry at you guys, don't worry. I just wanted to be dramatic and light a fire up your asses.
To be more specific, I'm referring to guys who say incredibly cheesy, sweet things in the hopes that a girl will fall for them, sort of like laying a mouse trap with cheese and eventually getting your own dick caught and snapped while poking around it. It's akin to giving the homeless cash instead of food; you never know what they're going to do with your money, but you damn well know they're going to eat up a sandwich and give you nothing in return for it even if they'd much rather have a beer or some drugs. While in reality you would want the second outcome, it works favorably in reverse with women.
You WANT to take a gamble with women when it comes to the things you say. Be bold. Don't be afraid to bust her non-existent balls or tell her what you really like and prefer doing. Instead of feeding her what you think she wants to hear and getting nada for it, throw a wrench into the equation by being being the potential drug. You may not get the results you hope for all the time, but it puts you a step ahead of most men who play it safe and sappy.
Is it as easy as it sounds? No, it's not. It takes a bit of "soul-searching" and practice to wipe the slate clean and re-learn your manner of interaction with the opposite sex. You don't want to be a kitten or an oversized Pomeranian, that's what women really "Aww" over. When a girl reacts in the same way she would towards a cute animal with you, it's generally a sign that you've been friend-zoned or put on a leash just like the aforementioned Pomeranian.
For the untrained male, this may seem like a sure sign of romantic interest. However, they couldn't be more wrong in their assumptions. She likes you, sure... just not in the way you want her to, and it leads to self-loathing and crying at night, usually to a pillow, wondering where you went wrong and why she chooses to date an asshole jock over you, the sweet, sensitive kitten who feeds her gigantic ego.
Truth is, while both extremes are bad, women will normally go for the asshole over the nice guy because he gives her a sense of excitement, and doesn't constantly compliment her like every other guy walking down the street or playing the wrong game at a bar. It's not that assholes are any better, it's just that they have a slight edge. You don't want to be either of these people, though. You want to be the well-balanced man; confident in what he does, says, and able to move on when it's necessary.
Some will advocate faking confidence until you actually become confident, but I don't suggest this method. Faking confidence leads to inconsistencies, and being inconsistent will eventually get you dumped and labeled a wanker. Another point to take into consideration is that sometimes faking confidence will lead you to rely on the method, which stunts the self-improvement needed to truly become confident in who you are as a man, and most importantly, as a person.
The road to becoming more successful with women is one that'll make you a happier person, and help you succeed in other aspects of life. You'll learn a lot about yourself, what you want, and who you want to be. Don't simply look at it as a way to get laid, because that isn't the main point.
How do you distinguish between being balanced and being an asshole?
I'll give you some examples:
A friend of yours who you think is really attractive asks if you can help her with some homework.
Nice Guy - "Sure! I'll do your homework for you." (He's quick to accept or even offers to do it all for her.)
Asshole - "Fuck off, I'm not helping you with shit." (A rather rude way of saying no, but hey! Gotta keep that reputation.)
Balanced Man - "Hm, I could help you, but first you're going to go out for a drink with me." (He tells her what she's going to do in order to receive his help, and creates a fair exchange while exuding confidence.)
You're out on a date, and she compliments you on your look / compliments in general.
Nice Guy - Constantly compliments the woman and feeds her ego, thus giving the compliment less impact because she's consistently hearing it. (This actually gives you less credibility and some women will think you're bullshitting them.)
Asshole - "Yup, I know." (This one is kind of tricky. Some guys can pull it off if they do it with a playful tone of voice.)
Balanced Man - "Thank you." (It's really that simple. You don't have to say anything else, you acknowledge her compliment, and you don't come off as a conceited jerk.)
You see a cute girl walking by.
Nice guy - Does nothing.
Asshole - "Damn girl, you lookin' good!" (Come on, she hears this every other block. Do you honestly think it's going to get you anywhere?)
Balanced Man - "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you. (Compliment accessory, article of clothing, usage of colors, etc... if you want.) My name's (insert name). Nice to meet you, I'm going to steal a little of your time because if I don't, I'll regret it later tonight and have to tell some of my close girlfriends a sob story while pigging out on ice cream." (Notice how you're not only being a gentleman, but you're also being humorous, and showing some value and honesty by being open about having several friends of the opposite sex who actively speak to you.)
With some of these you have to make sure you utilize different tones of voice to specify when you're joking around and when you're being serious. You're not trying to guilt a woman into talking with you, you're being funny, sarcastic and honest. I prefer an honest, more direct approach over making up fake stories to tell or performing shitty magic tricks. I don't want men to fall into the dishonest side of pick-up, I want them to realize their inner value, have some self-worth, and succeed in relationships.
Pick-up can be a dirty game, but you don't have to play it by those rules.
What are your thoughts on sappy men and what kind of an approach would you be more receptive towards?
Nunez Love Doctor.
Certified with a PhD in Vulgarity and Reverse Meningitis.