Monday, 22 August 2011
-
What Do You Do When You Don't Get Along With Someone's Friends and Family?
This post was submitted by an anonymous user.
I come from a small town where everyone knows each other, or at least knows of each other. I went to a public high school where popular people took over and I was the nerdy tom boy who didn't care about that. People still have that image of me in high school even though I've drastically changed since then.
A year or two ago, I started hanging out with someone from high school after high school and college who I never talked to then. I told myself to never give anyone a chance now who didn't give me a chance back then, but this guy, Rick, seemed different from all those other people, or so I thought.
He told me what he did in high school and I wasn't pleased, but because it was 6 to 7 years ago, I tried not to let it bother me.
He's turned into a sweet, caring gentleman now. The real problem is, I dislike most of his friends from high school who he still hangs out with to this day. He's introduced me to some of his friends who he met elsewhere and they don't have a problem with me. It's his old high school friends I don't like and never want to see again, and even some of his preppy family who is still all about status.
I was browsing his Facebook because we're long distance right now and I saw his douchey cousin Ben wrote on his wall. This makes me even more devastated because I know if Ben ever found out about me and Rick, he'd try to say something to him to get him not to hang out with me but Rick knows everything about me as well as my odd ways which he's put up with and still hangs out with me to this day.
Ben's that kind of guy who will try to sabotage something if he doesn't like it. Ben also thought I had a crush on him even though that was not the case at all and he called me all sorts of insults which fit him better. Not only does Ben have no looks, but he has no personality and I can't stand the thought that he's related to Rick.
I'm so torn on what to do. I've tried to move on from Rick to find someone who has no connections with my past at all so I wouldn't have to deal with this and can have a complete fresh start, but no matter what I do or how long it's been, I feel like it will keep leading back to Rick.
Have you ever dated someone but you didn't get along with his/her family especially some of their friends? If so, are you still together and how did you resolve that issue if it was ever resolved?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (9)
The first lesson in dating is that you should not try to control who your boyfriend is friends with. It's controlling and will tear you two apart faster than any of his friends or family can. Leave it alone. You seem to have no faith in your boyfriend or the strength of your relationship. Just enjoy what you have with him and don't worry about the rest.
And one more thing, play nice with his pals/family. It might change their opinion of you and you might change your opinion of them.
You kill them with kindness. The way that you should handle people like this is to just be the bigger person. If you don't show them your weakness, they will have a harder time dealing with it and make themselves look foolish.
If there is one thing I learned, everyone fucking sucks in high school and then they change. You can't judge people for being assholes in high school. I was doing that for a while and then one day one of my friends just said to me, "Seriously, why are you judging people from shit in high school?" and everything clicked. Now I give everyone a chance because we are in the real world now. And you said that you are a very different person, so why would you assume that you are the only person that changed? In high school I had a lot of problems with people, and was definitely not part of the popular crowd either, but now, seeing them again changes everything.
It is very immature to treat people the same because of things that happened in high school.
Sounds like somebody's not past high school... I'm talking about you. If it bothers you THAT much, dump him. Otherwise, grit your teeth and realize that other people might have changed also.
if you can't get over it, dump rick. there's always going to be a guy, who is better than rick. I tend to see whoever current guy I like as different or great, but when things go bad, he isn't that great after all, and the next guy seems that much better than him. so nobody is as different or great as you think, because everybody else think they are also "different." I don't like associating myself with past people either. I don't care if they've changed for the better or not. I prefer a new set of friends. your choice:D
if i dated someone and i didn't like their friends or family, i might not be dating him much longer either. friends and family is so important when it comes to relationships. if it was someone that i really loved then i might stay with him but stay far away from those family members or friends that i don't get along with.
This happened to me, I strongly loathed my best friends girlfriend. We got into a verbal argument and after that things were alright but we couldn't stand each other.I kept telling my best friend, she is bad news and isn't good for you.
2 years later, he broke up with her because she cheated on him with 4 guys.
@laytexduckie@xanga - that is what I have to do everyday with my bf's family.
Be nice on your end and have faith in your bf's ability to stick up for you. If you don't see a change in their behavior towards you, it is time to move on. Even if he's a great guy, there is no excuse for the people in his life treating you unfairly. Furthermore, if he's such a great guy then they should have respect for him and his SO.