Wednesday, 17 August 2011
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If Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend, Then Chocolate Is Her Soulmate
I'm sure all of you have heard the phrase "Diamonds are a girl's best friend." While I whole-heartedly agree, and would gladly accept diamonds any day of the week, I'm thinking there's room for a second love: Chocolate. For any girl that has ever broken up with a boyfriend or suffered through that time of the month, you know that a piece of chocolate can mean the difference between you being Glinda and the Wicked Witch of the West.In my sporadic states of depression because of this or that, I have literally eaten entire bags of Hershey's Kisses with Almonds in one afternoon. Sometimes it was the only thing I could stomach when my body rejected real food.
When I was sixteen, my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend picked me up off the floor, dragged me to Rite Aid, and helped me to pick out ten (yes, ten) Nestle Crunch Bars with Caramel. And a pint of Ben & Jerry's Rocky Road ice cream. And I ate it all.
To health freaks and men, this may just sound like the tale of a fat girl. However, the fact of the matter is: Chocolate does help soothe you. I did a little research a few years ago (and just checked up on it again to make sure), and it turns out that chocolate has over 500 natural chemical compounds, “some of which have been categorized as mood-elevating and pleasure-inducing.” In addition to Theobromine and Caffeine, a chemical compound called Phenylethylamine (PEA) “may be responsible for some of the pleasurable feelings you get after eating chocolate because it releases natural feel-good chemicals called endorphins in your brain. PEA is released by the brain when people are falling in love.”
And it’s not just love that is created via chocolate – it’s the avoidance of male violence and death. My friend just told me a story about how she was anticipating that time of the month, cranky, tired, weak, and in pain. Everyone and everything was annoying her. Even in her state of utter misery, she knew what she had to do.
She opened her freezer door, saw the Double Fudge Brownie ice cream with chocolate chunks, and lunged at the carton. It's too light, she thought, prepared to kill someone. Ripping the lid off, and surveyed the damage. There was about three spoonfuls left – so she grabbed a spoon, and dug in. Feeling satisfied and much less irritated, she went back to her room.
So men, listen up: when you think that your girlfriend or wife is PMSing and you sense you're about to go through a rough time, save the $15 on flowers and head straight to the chocolate aisle. Did you think it was a coincidence that Valentine's Day – the day of love and love-making – centers around huge boxes of chocolates? Come on now!
Don't misunderstand, we love mushy cards, and random gifts, and expensive jewelry (and umm, you guys too, of course), but nothing –and I mean nothing– beats chocolate when trying to fight a bad mood or stomach cramp. We bear the children, you buy the chocolate. It's an uneven trade, but we're willing to overlook that.
The moral of the story is this: If diamonds are a girls best friend, then chocolate is her soulmate.
Do you love chocolate? Does it make you feel better when you're blue?
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About the Author
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- From: Jenn
- About Me: I have been on more bad dates than I have fingers and toes to count on -- and I'm only in my early twenties! I laugh when I watch 'Sex & the City,' because I've had so many dysfunctional relationships that they might as well as made me their 5th friend. Even so, I used to love going on dates with different guys (now I only let one guy take me out on dates), eating great food, and talking on the phone until 3AM. I never did get over the idea that a guy should treat a girl like a princess -- even if I've encountered one too many frogs.
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Comments (28)
I don't like eating too much chocolate, no matter how much it hurts, because then it just gets too sweet. =/
I dont like jewels. I don't like anything that glitters. I can hear sight.
nice pic! i wish i were her in that tub.
I love white chocolate, especially the white chocolate Reese's cups. I eat bagfulls of them when I know I shouldn't.
i actually think chocolate is disgusting....But i like jewelry
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - white chocolate doesnt actually count as chocolate you know right?
I don't understand people who don't like chocolate. I just don't.
I LOVE chocolate. I could eat it all day everyday LOL you can always find me in Laura Secord store buying their products:) mm. Great post!
@Escargotpudding@xanga - Because it looks like poop.
@MizzLiberty@xanga - Okay, I like dark chocolate too. White and dark chocolate are all I really like...oh and chocolate chips are good too. Other than that, I really don't like chocolate all that much. It looks like feces especially when it's melted.
Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga
lol thats just funny
Chocolate is the BEST. THING. EVER.
There's bubbles in the chocolate, she farted.
TRUE. DAT.
I only give chocolates to my favourite people, it's too precious to just be given out!
i like chocolate, but i don't eat it much at all. maybe literally a couple times a year. at christmas and easter and shit like that.
I love chocolate, but not cheap ones like hersheys. yuck
When ever I know I'm going to See's Candies I grab a bag of Cheddar Bay Biscuits from work and the lady gives me a bunch of free samples. SCORE!
If Allah was a woman, then sperm would taste of chocolate.
Vosges makes amazing chocolate bars. I tend to ration mine out, which unfortunately leads to me looking in the pantry and finding out that it's been eaten. :(
women loving diamonds and chocolate- what a concept! This is like the most tired joke/cliche go-to phrase in our culture. I'm surprised even Jenn thought she could try and spin it as something "new."
"To health freaks and men, this may just sound like the tale of a fat girl." What's wrong with being a fat girl? And honestly, there are very few "healthy" chocolate bars. The chocolate we eat in America is highly sweetened and pretty much cancels out whatever health benefits there are. It's okay to eat something that isn't good for you. Food isn't a punishment.
I don't love diamonds. A lot of women don't.
I don't care that much about chocolate. It's fine but I'm not crazy about it. A lot of women aren't.
"Don't misunderstand, we love mushy cards, and random gifts, and expensive jewelry"
"We bear the children, you buy the chocolate."
Honestly, I get that some women will feel you on this more than I do, but does everything have to be something "we" women do? I don't like those things. I don't agree with that "equation." etc. It pisses me off because then people legitimately think "all women" go crazy over these mundane things.
I don't even like diamonds...my boyfriend is getting me a sapphire engagement ring.
I don't care much for chocolate either, I eat it on occasion but not that often and if I could have a cinnamon roll or ice cream instead, I'd choose either of those.
I like salted dark chocolate with red wine sometimes, that's the only time I really really enjoy it because it brings out the flavor of the wine.
I like this article Jenn, even if it is cliche. I mainly just like that you avoided insulting other people's looks and/or only writing about yourself, though. But still...this is much better than your usual datingish articles, it's more like one of your ireallylikefood articles, which I like.
Diamonds are nothing more than mediocre looking, honestly.
I like chocolate. Sometimes I crave chocolate but I usually control myself pretty well.
Any other day I would say "meh, chocolate." But today I feel like shit and I want to eat a thousand pounds of it.
So, I guess this is pretty legit.
Keep these kinds of posts up! Do you see how everyone here is having a discussion about the subject at hand and not your personality? That's a good thing! I don't care for chocolate candy, but I like chocolate cakes and brownies and chocolate-chip cookies..