Though I graduated from the sinkhole known as Chavez High School in May 2005 with many enemies who sought my end, there are a small few friends of mine from there who I recently re-established contact with. Among these are Alejandra Rodriguez, who I started being friends with in the dark days of 2003, when I was at the mercy of my arch-enemy Chris Perez and his damnable crew. She recently got married, and while I hold no grudges about it, I blame myself for not being man enough to ask for her hand myself.
Alejandra was perhaps the one friend I could count on during the tumultuous times of my high school years between late 2003 and early 2004, and
I guess she just got tired of waiting for me to ask the question. Not that I blame her, of course. I have had plenty of times when I could have asked for a girl's love, as well as her hand in marriage. But, withdrawn and aloof as I am, I decline to ask for a girl's hand in marriage when it is most auspicious to do so.
But I am a suspicious man, and I have good reasons to not ask for a girl's hand in marriage, even when it seems good to do so. Sometimes,
I fear that if I do, they'll get scared off and leave me for another man. Other times I feel ridiculous asking such a question, seeing how I am physically unattractive and typically withdrawn and often aloof. Alejandra is a strong, attractive young woman, and
I am merely everybody's favorite fatman to hate and ridicule. So I do not blame her for getting married to someone besides myself, for I could never make her happy.
Though all the world forsook me at Chavez High School, at least Alejandra stayed on my side, and yet I never showed her any sign of gratitude for it. Though she is married, she still thinks about me, as a friend if not much else. Why does she do that? I do not know. After all, I never saw it fit to ever consider her one of my loyal friends, in spite of the fact that she was a loyal friend to me, yet strangely enough I gave my love and time to sycophants and tramps who even now want me dead.
Hell,
I do not even know why she still wants to be my friend now, in this time. Most women would never endure what she endured with me between 2003 and 2004. Yet she did. And even now, she still thinks me a worthy friend, though she has every right to be sore and angry toward me for virtually shoving her to the side in favor of useless tramps like Gloria Ruiz, Aracely Hernandez, Gipsy Leal, and Jessica Tunchez, to name a few.
No wonder why men never can understand a woman who really loves them. I know I sure as hell can never understand one who loves me truly no matter what. I have not the glands for it. And it took me this long to recognize that.
What's your take on this?
Recommend
Comments (12)
How fucking old are you? Most people do not get engaged in high school anyway.
This sounds like someone very young, who hasn't gotten over high school yet. Also, I hope these aren't anyone's real names.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - I agree...no one gets engaged in high school, unless their old school parents made them get married because they got knocked up. I think this person is 24 or 25, based on the graduation year. It is irrelevent because immaturity can occur at any age.
While I do not know all the facts, I think it would be best to forget about her and move on since she has. You're still young, and since you do not like the way you are (in certain aspects), it's perfect grounds for change to becoming a person YOU are proud of. You can't change the past but you can very well work hard on not making those same horrible decisions again.
Um, what?
Build a bridge and get over it. It's 2011. If you're unhappy with yourself, start making motions to improve your life - get a gym membership, go to therapy, get some hobbies other than dwelling on the things people did wrong to you between 8 and 6 years ago.
The happier you are, the more success you'll have at finding a relationship - at attracting a new "Alejandra" if you will. You can't stay miserable living in the past because it's not healthy and it certainly won't breed any type of lasting, non-toxic relationships.
I, too, also hope these aren't anyone's real names.
i think you could benefit from therapy. i'm not saying this in a derogatory way, we all have our issues that we need to work through. sometimes talking to an expert can help immensely. either way, its definitely not healthy to continue to dwell on things that happened 7-8 years ago. unless i'm missing something, its sounds like you weren't even dating this girl. if you weren't dating her, why on earth would you consider proposing to her? ESPECIALLY if you were in high school at the time. everyone got teased and bullied at some point in their life, we've all liked people who didn't like us back. but at some point you have to move on. there are almost 7 billion people on the planet, why worry about one that you haven't even seen in years?
This is really creepy. Were you even dating her?
She's married now. Leave her alone and build your own life.
No offense, but I'm also confused why she's still your friend. You're pretty rude. And being fat is not an excuse for being rude and single. I'm obese and I'm also an outgoing awesome person. I even found the love of my life. Even though he's hot and sweet and nice, I still say HE'S the lucky one, because I'm so damn awesome.
Grow up, gain some confidence, and then go find the girl of your dreams. You'll never find her down in the gutter where you're currently living. You've got to pull yourself up.
Pal ignore any negative comments you receive on here. In fact, ignore all comments bar positive ones. Sorry guys, but this kid sounds like he is severely depressed and has serious psychological issues. Criticising will not help if the state of mind is in no condition to accept it.
NOW do not be alarmed by this. I am sure you are perfectly capable of dealing with life. Hell, you survived High School right? So take some positive steps and move your life on. Start eating healthily, start walking, and praising yourself. Give yourself positive endorphins and experiences in your immediate past.Also get therapy, counselling or whatever else you or your family believe you need. Surround yourself with your family (if possible), and if not, seriously consider therapy and going to group sessions. It really helps to learn your not alone. Because your not. Do not be scared, but this article did not sound like it came from someone with a firm grasp on reality at present, however that can be changed by speaking to professionals. Writing should heal, even if you are venting, however this article sounded very self-destructive.
Please seek out help. You need to sort out the issues you have with your life. Putting your experiences into a public forum, and reading negative feedback, is not what you need...
you're crazy
Just how often have you considered proposing to different women?
Also why do you assume this woman got sick of waiting for you to propose? It doesn't sound like you were even dating her?
This is so creepy for so many reasons.
what did i just read?? @_@
are you talking about a girl you didnt even date and thinking how you shouldve asked to marry her your jr year in high school??? even though youre about 25 now? what the hell...Why are you exposing the high school, graduation year, the girl's full name, and the dude's full name? As well as a bunch of other kids from that school? What the heck?
troll?
male version of jenn
lol yay