Sunday, 14 August 2011
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When You Meet Online & Pray He's as Hot as His Picture
When I was nineteen, I met a really cute guy named Brian in my very first Creative Writing class. We became friends right away, and I found out 3 important things about him: (1) He had a girlfriend (boo) (2) He was in a fraternity (hmm...) and (3) I could choose from any of his hot fraternity friends (yesss!).I went on his Myspace page later that week, and clicked on a picture of a guy who was decent looking. Once I was brought to his page, however, he had a second picture of himself up in his profile...and he looked beautiful. He was either modeling or jokingly modeling, with his pointer finger and thumb under his chin and his eyes looking far off into the distance. His shirt was stylish and his hair looked fabulous.
Now I was faced with the dilemma of trying to figure out which picture accurately portrayed him. Like I said, the first one wasn't too amazing, but the second one was so fabulous that I was willing to give this guy a shot. If he could look that good in a photo, he clearly had the potential for greatness.
I told Brian which friend I had chosen and he showed his friend (James) my Myspace page. Apparently he "approved" of me, because he called me a few days later telling me that Brian had given him my number.
That first conversation, we talked for four hours – from 10PM-2AM. I became obsessed with him very quickly. We fell into a boyfriend/girlfriend comfort with ease.
Three days, 5 conversations, and dozens of text messages later, and it was finally time for me to meet. Oh my God.
Brian met me at James's house to make things a little less awkward. I'll never forget walking toward his house, my hands shaking nervously, my heart beating out of my chest. Please let him look like Picture #2. Please let him look like Picture #2.
And, drum roll pleaseee....he did, he did! Thank the Lord, he did!
James stood there, looking adorable and perfect, just like his picture. All fear and anxiety left my body. The boy was gorgeous.
I happened to luck out, but situations like these don't always finish with a happy ending. One of my best friends, Beth, hates going out to bars and social scenes. Therefore, she prefers to meet potential boyfriends online. More than once, she said, she was extremely disappointed and annoyed when she saw that the guy had obviously been using a very old (or very Photoshopped) picture.
She once met a guy who was clearly over 300 pounds, and yet his photo would suggest he was about 150. She stuck out the date, but did say, “Hmm, outdated picture, huh?”
Have you ever met someone offline and prayed that they were as good looking as their picture? Were they? What happened?
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About the Author
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- From: Jenn
- About Me: I have been on more bad dates than I have fingers and toes to count on -- and I'm only in my early twenties! I laugh when I watch 'Sex & the City,' because I've had so many dysfunctional relationships that they might as well as made me their 5th friend. Even so, I used to love going on dates with different guys (now I only let one guy take me out on dates), eating great food, and talking on the phone until 3AM. I never did get over the idea that a guy should treat a girl like a princess -- even if I've encountered one too many frogs.
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Comments (73)
....And again, why are you so goddamn shallow?
I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.
The only reasons I'd care if someone didn't look like the photos they sent me would be because they lied to me either by commission or omission, they apparently have no self-esteem hence the fake photos and last but not least they'd have to be pretty stupid to agree to meet with someone and not realize the person might notice they don't look like the photos. All those things would be terribly sad for the guy if he lied to me because in my case I'm not a visualy stimulated person so it doesn't really matter how he looks in person. I wouldn't reject him because he was fat or ugly or what not but I'd reject him if he lied to me
Personally I'd be more afraid if they were a douche or creepy than if they looked like their picture. It's really easy to lie about much more than what you look like, online. But, discussing the topic at hand, blatant "misadvertising" (fake photos, heavily edited, or VERY misleading) may say something about the person's self-esteem. I'd probably be more turned off by the lack of confidence/lying than what the person actually looks like. But some people look better in photos and some look better in real life. I've always thought I looked much better in real life. Cameras have this ability to make my face look very flat depending on the lighting.
when I was in high school I met a college guy from online. he was shorter than expected
it was actually a blind date. I never knew what he looked but he knew what I looked like and apparently liked what he saw and was eager to meet me. I also talked to him a lot prior to the meeting. I wanted to see at least one picture of him but he made excuses and I was naive enough to believe him. I had my own image of what I thought he looked like from his description of himself and combined with his personality, which I liked, I thought that our first meeting would be wonderful. however, high expectations sometimes leads to major disappointment. I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. he doesn't have to be gorgeous as a model but being attracted to a guy as more than friends is what sets him apart from the platonic area. his looks wasn't the dealbreaker though. he lied about numerous things that I found out about later, so basically, his entire persona was fake. he fed me lies to make himself look better and made me feel special but he was stringing along other girls at the same time, likely to get in their pants. not all guys are like this of course, but he was the wolf in sheep's clothing. I learned from that encounter and have been more careful.
i met one serious boyfriend on there and a lot of other guys i dated. i too am like your friend beth. lol. though now i prefer to meet someone not through the internet. i have been there though, praying and hoping they were what they portrayed online! luckily, i always got what i saw online, in person. =D yaaaaay!
Glad you lucked out. Funny thing, way before the days of the Internet, King Henry VIII faced the same dilemma. One of the women he wanted to marry, he saw a painting of her first, but he discovered she was a fat cow in person.
Does it work the opposite? Like in your case?
Sorry haha nothing against you, I just saw an opportunity to burn.What about liking someone for who they are and not what they look like? You're saying that if he didn't look like picture number 2, even though you had this great connection with him, you would dump him?
Oh for fuck's sake, people. I don't like Jenn, but even I don't see an issue with this post. People want good looking partners, and the majority of those who form a strong connection through phone/internet get nervous and pray to God that they connect physically, too. NO ONE wants their partner to be grossly different than their awesome photo. Physical attraction plays a large role. Sucks to hear, but it's true.
This post wouldn't be so bad if you weren't always talking about people's looks in every situation you blog about, OP.
However, I haven't met anyone online since college back in 2007. The guy I met wasn't that attractive in his photo to begin with, he was alright looking, but I met him in person because we connected personality wise....at the time... After college, I haven't met anyone from online. Always in person. At least no one can lie about looks that way if that's all you're going after.
I think a lot of people try to present themselves better online. It makes sense that you would wonder if they look as good. And, yeah, as much as people want to call her shallow, it's not as if looks don't matter in a relationship. Good grief, lol. We usually date people we're, gasp, attracted too! lol
I met my husband online. I didn't really worry about what he looked like. I did wonder if he'd be similar to how he was online and what he would seem like. He looked exactly like he presented himself, as did I, and we hit it off, just like we thought we would! and we ended up married. :)
I'm the same way. I also worry that maybe the guy wont like the way I look in person as opposed to my picture but thankfully I don't take drastically different photos of myself.
@wyrdkismet@xanga - You're naive if you think that most people don't care about looks in the beginning...that's what attracts people to each other for the most part.
@LoveeLikeASunset@xanga - Well thank you. I already knew that. -.-
also, like i said before, i've met people from online who i didn't think were all that "hot" looking to begin with and i still met them irregardless of how they looked. they didn't look terrible, but they're not "hot." looks don't really matter to me. even if i see a "hot" picture, so what? it's if i can talk to the person that counts. no i can't tell u how many times i've given average people chances just because i thought they had a nice personality at first. and are YOU as "good looking" as your picture makes you out to be? hmmm...
That's a relief. Lol. Online dating has its challenges and matching the profile with reality is one of them. I don't know if your experience is quite the same though. As for the people saying you're being shallow, I respectfully disagree. I think everyone should want to find someone attractive and with someone you've never met in person, looks of course make or break the deal.
@missmerlot@xanga - carpet is pubes. the expression is carpet matches the curtains (or drapes) :)
yep. met this guy off myspace once... his pic was just about average, but in person, i had never met anyone that creepy and weird looking before in my life. to make matters worse, he was entirely insane in just about every sense of the word, too. im lucky i didnt get raped or murdered or anything like that. i got so many restraining orders on this dude, and last i heard, he's in jail for the 10th time or something for harrassing another girl. moral of the story being, people can lie about looks, but they can also lie about much more sinister things that you might wanna worry more about.
BTW i hope u write most of your posts for shock value or reactions or something. i wanna like you bc youre a decent writer and amusing sometimes, but you make it hard.
I did meet an ex online before (not dating websites or anything, it was a coincidence long story short), he was the hottest guy ever in his face photos, not so much for some body ones 'cause he's incredibly short but I was instantly attracted to him. However irl.. he rarely looked like those amazing photos of his that I saw, but he still wasn't bad, I was still very much attracted.
@chiffon_pixie@xanga - I met like 2 dudes like that before too@_@'' creepy as hell..
I actually like these anecdotes. To me these stories are the most accurate representation of how girls actually think. And the truth is I'm sure 90% of these girls who flame the author do 90% of the same things in these stories. So keep writing!
Superficial.
-Katie
I don't understand why so many people are hating on this post. Physical attraction plays a HUGE part in how relationships work, and for most people, it's important for them to have some kind of physical attraction to someone they're going to get into a relationship with.
@chicbananas@xanga - exactly. I wish I could rec. your comment a hundred times.
I just said I don't really care what a person looks and have met a person before without them showing a "hot" picture and people are STILL going on about Jenn's "right." No she isn't and stop speaking for everyone as though she's talking for everyone. She isn't. I'm not a bitch like a lot of you are. It's funny how some of you think you can rag on me for being toxic when you should look at the kind of stuff you write. Looks aren't the only thing that I'm attracted to about a person.
If you're soooo "right" then I wouldn't have met my then bf from online based off of his photo because he wasn't "hot." *Rolls eyes*
For fucks sake, NO, she's still gonna get bashed by me for being arrogant. Get OFF your high horses, you aren't right. One of my then "friends" asked me why I even met that guy because she didn't find him "hot" and I said because I liked talking to him. He was average looking.
And some of you wonder why YOU'RE single, LOL. because you're toooooo too picky.
Just for people thinking you're speaking everyone's "minds" I'm giving you zero e-Props now. Please speak for yourselves and stop saying Jenn's just saying something other people want to say but don't. No. Just. NO!
If only you'd talk about something else in your blogs other than people's looks. The Greens article was semi decent and then you went back to this trash. SMH.
For the absolute love of God, some people need to STOP saying she's speaking something people want to say but don't have the balls to. I absolutely cannot stand that childish arrogant insult. I have my OWN mind THANKS. If I wanted to fucking say what she's saying I'd say it. I don't need robots to speak for me acting like they know other people's mind better than one self. CHRIST.