Sunday, 14 August 2011
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My Boyfriend Gave Away His Grandmother's Bracelet
Before my boyfriend (lovingly referred to as my R.O.B.) and I started dating, he was dating this girl, Z. He was in love with Z. and as she struggled through her problems, he wanted to make her feel special and loved all the time.
I was talking to Z. one day and she mentioned something about never wanting to take off the bracelet my R.O.B. had given her. The bracelet originally belonged to my R.O.B.'s deceased grandmother, with whom he was very close. He gave it to her as a promise of forever and protection.
The first time I eyed the bracelet on Z., it glittered around her wrist, tangled in the dozens of hairties and jelly bands she wore. It was a very thin, simple, gold chain, that rolled down to her forearm when she raised her hand in class. For the rest of the time she and my R.O.B. were together, I never saw her without it on.
Someone once told me it was bad luck to give jewelry away in a relationship that seems doomed to fail--it'll lead to an imminent break up. I'm not superstitious, but they broke up shortly after my R.O.B. passed on his grandmother's bracelet.
They broke up after school one day, near my locker. Z. found me, unclasped the bracelet, and gave it to me.
"I don't want this anymore. Give it back to him for me. Or you can have it if you want it," she said, handing me the bracelet and walking away.
As I saw my R.O.B. approaching me, reeling from his fresh heartbreak, I tucked the bracelet into one of my jeans pockets. He slammed his fist into a locker in frustration.
"Sorry to--" I tried to say.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said, storming down the hall and running down the next corridor. He was late for track practice--something he never was since he was captain of the team that year.
I knew it would hurt him a lot to give the bracelet back to him that same day, so I held onto it for a week. He was still hurting from their tumultuous relationship and the abrupt break-up, but I felt strange holding onto something that was so loaded with memories of his grandmother and his relationship with Z.
I found him the following Monday and told him Z. wanted me to give the bracelet back to him.
"Oh..." was all he had to say as I pulled the bracelet out of my purse and handed it to him. He looked so hurt, but I knew it shouldn't be in my possession. "Well, what am I supposed to do with it? It's tainted now."
Has your SO ever given you something passed down in his/her family? Is it bad luck to give away jewelry in a relationship?
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About the Author
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- From: dangelb
- About Me: My name means "daybreak" and I'm usually awake to watch the sunrise every morning. I'm a college student, obsessive tea drinker, and contemporary dancer. My first love was the piano before I learned how to love people. I love my R.O.B.--Really Outstanding Boyfriend--who gets just as excited as I do over antique books, soft-baked cookies, and Sporcle.
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Comments (12)
My grandmother has left me a jade bracelet when she passed away. I'm saving it for the woman I will marry. But even then, I don't know if I should give it away since it was my grandmother's.
@laytexduckie@xanga - If you have children (especially a daughter), pass it on to them.
That way it's still in the family.
That's why family heirlooms shouldn't be held in possession of emotional, angsty teenagers. I don't know how many wonderful sentimental things have been given to me in highschool that really should not have been.
I've never heard about it being bad luck to give away jewelry in a relationship, but I do think there should be a bigger commitment than just dating (at the very least be engaged, maybe even wait until the wedding day) before passed down jewelry is given as a gift.
I am not superstitious so I'm not really gonna comment on whether I think it's "bad luck" or not. But as a general rule it's probably best to keep things like that within the family. Pass it down to your children or the person you're engaged to be married to. Not your highschool sweetheart...
I have a ring my grandmother gave my mother at 21. When I turned 21, my mother passed it on to me, and I plan on wearing it until my daughter (if I have one) turns 21. If I don't have one, I'll probably give it to my son to give to his daughter when she turns 21 :) I would never give a family heirloom away to a partner at such a young age - even if I was married I think I'd be hesitant. I think things like that need to be kept in the family :)
I had a boy give me a beautiful jade and diamond bracelet my senior year and I lost it that same day. I felt so horrible, for so long. Awful. He was such a sweetheart, too... :/
I would hope it's not bad luck to give away jewelry in relationships. I'm engaged. My fiance gave me his grandmom's ring, and he bought me a bracelet and necklace over the course of our relationship. I also bought him a rosary. So... we'd be SOL if that were true :p
although I would be very flattered that he'd give me a family heirloom, it would probably be too much pressure, and I'd probably have to open a safe deposit box at the bank to keep it there. it'd be like I'd been given the Ring from the lord of the rings and I'm glad that I have it, yet it is too much to handle and I'd rather toss it down a cliff not because I don't appreciate the gift, but if we're just dating and he gives me something like this, I'd be overwhelmed and probably tell him to keep it in a safe place but I understand and appreciate his grand gesture, which I will keep in my heart. I'm the sentimental type so I would not want to lose it because I know that when I give something special to someone and he lost it, I'd be heartbroken
which is why I've mostly given and received poems and not jewelry.
that was a strange ending. Idk, personally, I wouldn't really care no matter who I was in this situation. Jewelry is a thing, and the value only comes from the ideas and memories we attached from it. One person's heirloom to another person looks like a piece of old person trash. Jewelry is only special because we make it special. And I never get that attached to my jewelry. And, really, I don't know why kids ever have access to that sort of stuff anyways if someone does consider it special.
Also, R.O.B. ...that is just trying too hard, sorry, but S.O. is weird enough. "Stop trying to make fetch happen, Gretchen."
@laytexduckie@xanga - I agree that you should save it for the woman you marry. I guess you'll know whether giving it away feels right or not when the time comes.
I personally would never accept a piece of heirloom jewelry unless we were like...weeks away from engagement and I was absolutely sure we would end up together. I've been given jewelry before...but they were both necklaces that my ex-boyfriend bought for me or had already. Now that I'm at an age where relationships are a bit more serious, I wouldn't accept any kind of jewelry unless we were engaged or close to it. I just can't deal with any more pain from "things" left over from failed relationships.
I have a bracelet that says AMORE, I'm going to give it to someone who I care about a lot, but will never see again.
I recall there being some piece of jewelry that my mother was going to pass down to me someday, but I can't remember what it was. As of right now I have no plans to have children, and if things stay that way for a long time, I'll pass it to my brother to give to one of his kids, once he has them.