Saturday, 13 August 2011

• Let There Be Peace

  
  We all know how a break up is. Sometimes it leaves us crying, angry or bitter. We get sad over losing who we thought was our confidante, angry at the betrayal and bitter at the changes that have happened in between.

  Now, my ebf, Adam, is your typical nice guy. I loved him for his kind heart and he was my friend for some time, but he had one problem: he wasn't over his ex.Fast forward six months later...I break up with him knowing he isn't over her. He tells me he is but not a month after our break up, I find out he's back with his ex, Molly.

  This breaks my heart. I deleted Molly from FB (I know pathetic) knowing she will post up pics of Adam and her. I sob over it for four months. I go through all the stages: grief, anger, denial, etc. He's my first boyfriend, so I got pretty messed up (nothing stupid though). Fast forward five months...Adam and I start talking again. I find out that he broke up with Molly a couple of months after I broke up with him. He apparently thought he really was in love with her, but found that he broke up with her for a reason.

  The reason? Her being a bitch. (Between high school and college, she made a drastic change to her personality to suite her "friends.") I don't agree that she is one, but comforted him nonetheless. A couple of weeks later, we are seeing each other. He tries to make everything right...he does everything a boyfriend should do and more. But I don't feel the same anymore. It took four months to get over him and it was a horrible four months. We talk. He understands. We end it, before it gets serious.

  So Adam and I are friends. We actively talk, study together, eat lunch every now and then. However, there was still the problem of Molly. Molly and I have a wide group of friends and sometimes when it's party time, we end up being at the same place at the same time. Awkward? Try last week. My friend invited a couple dudes to hang out and drink and one of his friends invite Molly. There are only 15 people tops at his place. I realize that Molly doesn't like me but I try making small comments when she's near me. She doesn't respond but she doesn't have a nasty face either.

  Later on, I think...whatever, I'll send her an email apologizing her for deleting her off FB (Adam told me how upset she was...even though she has more than 1,000 friends). After two days, she responded.

  FORGIVENESS! We talk it out...and now, we're chill. At one point, I even bring out Adam into the conversation. I realize that they hate each other but I know they are both good people and hoped that they would at least be cool with each other (I told her a little bit of the side he told me that she never knew...like how bad he felt for the way they broke it off).

  Three days later, Adam calls me. Molly had called him the night before and they talked it out. Friendship in the future between them is likely...however, whether or not it happens is another story. Still, to know that they are mutual with each other makes me happy.

  Have you ever found peace between your ex...or your ex's ex? Do you think it's possible or better left untouched?

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